More TUC Funnies

[Judge Roy Bean]

I'm glad I can read quickly - buried down in the bar association rules and supreme court nonsense is a paragraph that indicates the only types of cases that will be heard at present are those involving the transfer of real property.

So if you allegedly sign something that transfers your property into TUC, they have their own kangaroo/Mr. Magoo/Yahoo/bovine-doo-doo/hold-my-breath-'til-I'm-blue/by-the-way-f**k-you court.

[The Observer]

he'll need to file one more piece of gibberish

That would work, except for the fact that Angel probably pays some (supposedly) homeless dude $2 to walk his latest piece of rubbish/gibberish into the clerk's office to be filed.

Sounds like a job for David Van Pelt.

[Demosthenes]

All is not well for Angel Cruz...

09/18/2008 35 NOTICE OF HEARING as to Harry William Marrero. Change of Plea Hearing set for 9/25/2008 at 11:00 AM in Courtroom 6 D before Magistrate Judge David A. Baker., Detention Hearing set for 9/25/2008 at 11:00 AM in Courtroom 6 D before Magistrate Judge David A. Baker. (HSL) (Entered: 09/18/2008)

The plea agreement:

http://www.cheatingfrenzy.com/marrero33.pdf

[grixit]

Ouch.

Maximum total sentence: 185 years. Maximum total fine: 6,250,000.00. Mandatory court costs as well. Assuming a "two level downward departure" can cut that to one quarter max, it's still bad.

Worse: prosecution is not barred from bringing additional charges.

My guess: he's talking like a dental patient on a double dose of pentathol.

[The Observer]

Any bets on whether Cruz is placing calls to Havana and asking Raul about the possibility of coming home?

[TUC]

I have received great news today. Guys, I have to say it but you all are going to hate us all (tuc members) soon. We are getting pay. Economy is getting worse day by day. Wall Street will crash tomorrow and we are the answer. Differents institution are willing to work with us and accepts our drafts. We almost there just be patient and thanks for all your support.

You will never understand. you will always wonder How it happened? They all should be in jail.

We will have a great concert in Miami to celebrate and also to do PR letting people know about TUC.

You just don't know how big we are.. you will get educated sooner than later
We are here to help..

Sorry for the bad news.

[fortinbras]

I have just (pre-dawn Sept 19th) tried going to the TUC website and the entire TUC website is down, ostensibly for renovations. They have an error message to that effect with the big headline, Joomla, which I think means "if you sent us your money, it's gone for good."

[notorial dissent]

What you wanna bet they paid their website fees with one of their super duper guaranteed TUC drafts and the carrier finally got it back from their bank and figured out they’d been taken???????

[.]

Wall Street will crash tomorrow

That must be why, overnight, S&P futures are up about 3%, on top of about +4.3% yesterday.

I tell ya, these guys are absolute geniuses, their perspicacity is simply amazing! Perhaps they can be convinced to write some sort of market advice letter, which everyone can then fade. We can pay them for their sage advice with some of those nice TUC drafts.

[wserra]

Question: who are the dumbest bunch of wannabe fraudsters in Florida?

we are the answer.

First thing you've said that I can believe. Read your buddy Marrero's plea agreement (link in Demo's post, above), why dontcha?

[grixit]

We will have a great concert in Miami to celebrate and also to do PR letting people know about TUC.

Gloria Estefan only works for real money.

[LPC]

Wall Street will crash tomorrow and we are the answer.

Sorry, but the answer to banks failing due to falling asset values is NOT a "bank" with no assets at all.

Differents institution are willing to work with us and accepts our drafts.

Let us know when you're able to move from statements about future intent to statements about past actions.

You will never understand. you will always wonder How it happened? They all should be in jail.

At least one of them *is* in jail, and another is a fugitive. So it's not "all" yet, but it's moving in that direction.

[Judge Roy Bean]

If nothing else, thousands of trees will be spared and at least a terabyte of data storage will be freed up.

[webhick]

Differents institution are willing to work with us and accepts our drafts.

What kind of institutions?

You just don't know how big we are.. you will get educated sooner than later

And how exactly do you plan on "educating" us?

[TheSaint]

Guys, I have to say it but you all are going to hate us all (tuc members) soon.

I've hated you all since the day I heard of you.

[The Observer]

Why do I get the feeling that Baghdad Bob got hired by the TUC folks to post here?

[cynicalflyer]

You will never understand. you will always wonder How it happened? They all should be in jail.

And soon enough, you all will be in jail.
Your senior leaders are either in jail, heading for jail, or are on the run from the law.
Enjoy your prison cell.

[.]

We will have a great concert in Miami

Perhaps they're trying to appropriate credit for the concerts the Marlins hold at the ballpark after Saturday home games, which usually draw 20-30 thousand people.

The last one of the season will be tomorrow.

[Evil Squirrel Overlord]

I have received great news today. Guys, I have to say it but you all are going to hate us all (tuc members) soon. We are getting pay. Economy is getting worse day by day. Wall Street will crash tomorrow and we are the answer.

Yes, but to what question?
How to lose your money even faster? How to feel like an idiot for listening to crooks?

Differents institution are willing to work with us and accepts our drafts. We almost there just be patient and thanks for all your support.

I'll second the call: Which institutions?

You just don't know how big we are.. you will get educated sooner than later
We are here to help..

Speaking of which you never told me where your branch office in Minnesota was. I find no such office but you claimed there was one on your now defunct website.

[.]

Wall Street will crash tomorrow

Updating the "crash," the S&P is now up about 4.5%, a total rally from yesterday's bottom of about 11% in less than 24 hours, neatly coinciding with the TUCer flat-out prediction of utter, total imminent ruin.

TUCers apparently live in some sort of perfectly inverse world. All the more reason to induce Angel to write a market letter from prison which everyone can fade with 100% positive results.