Smilin' Bob not so happy.....

[Doktor Avalanche]

What's even worse are the numerous thousands of men with insecurities about that "certain part of the male anatomy" who are desperate enough to buy into this crap.

[fortinbras]

It turns out that Berkeley, the company making Enzyte, filed for bankruptcy back in September. This begs .... begs!! ... for a tasteless joke.

There was always something about "Smiling Bob" in the commercials ... there was one that played all year about him dressed up as Santa for the office Xmas party, that strongly hinted that his wife wouldn't be the only woman who'd benefit from his Enzyte regimen.

[fortinbras]

Apart from the Enzyte scam, there is a genuine news report from the NY Daily News (I couldn't make this up):

Porn kings Larry Flint and Joe Francis go begging for a bailout
by Catey Hill
NY DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Wednesday, January 7th 2009, 5:18 PM

Is the porn industry up next for a bailout? If porn titans Joe Francis and Larry Flynt have anything to do with it, it will.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, the titans of pornography are begging for a bailout.

Joe Francis, creator of the "Girl's Gone Wild" video series, and Larry Flynt, founder of Hustler, will ask Congress for a $5 billion bailout, according to TMZ.

Why does the porn industry need a bailout? Because apparently even porn is getting smacked by the recession.

XXX DVD sales have taken a hit - about a 22% hit, according to TMZ.

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind," Flynt is quoted as saying on TMZ. "It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."

Francis thinks that the porn industry deserves a bailout just like the auto and financial industries got, and he said he'll go to DC to get it, according to TMZ.

"Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation's most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration," Francis is quoted as saying on TMZ.

Is the porn industry really experiencing a severe downturn? It depends on who you ask.

Francis Koenig's fund AdultVest, which invests in porn-related assets, was up 50% in 2008, according to Tom Johansmeyer's article in next month's Atlantic (as reported by The Huffington Post). But video sales are down.

"The industry's not going anywhere," Koenig says. "You've got 6 billion people on the planet," he laughs, "and they're all horny."

The porn industry generated about $12 billion in 2007, according to the Atlantic article.

A myriad of tasteless jokes swarms through my head.

[wserra]

A myriad of tasteless jokes swarms through my head.

Does that mean that your mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives?

[Nikki]

if the answer to the question posed in the Porn Bailout post 'Is the porn industry really experiencing a severe downturn?" is yes, perhaps they should get in touch with Enzyte?

After all, they claim to cure 'downturn'

[Demosthenes]

A myriad of tasteless jokes swarms through my head.

Does that mean that your mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives?

"...you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore."

Shit kicker.

[Doktor Avalanche]

Who the hell buys porn anymore?

[fortinbras]

Well, that Daily News article said that $12B was spent on porn in 2007. Since we all know that only a very small group of pervs and degenerates are interested in porn, this means that twelve people each spent one billion dollars on porn that year.

In simple economic terms, however, this claims made by Flynt do not show that the porn industry is affected by the current economy. Rather we should look at their product: Naked people photographed in 2000 look pretty much the same as naked people photographed in 2008, therefore there's not much incentive to keep spending money on newer stuff. If naked people, like automobiles, had fins or other parts that differed from year to year it would be a different story.

[Elmware]

I wonder what Smilin' Bob's sex life will be like when his cell mates tell him to bend over and reach for that bar of soap. Will his herbal remmadies help him out?

[fortinbras]

The Smiling Bob commercials keep running on cable TV, although they seem not to be making any new commercials but just reusing old ones endlessly. Some are so slapstick as to approach Benny Hill. But there's one of Bob as the very ill-disguised Santa at the office Christmas party (which they were running all last summer); Bob's wife is playing Santa's Little Helper, the women are supposed to (and are eager to) line up to sit in his lap (literally). Evidently his abilities attributable to Enzyte are the subject of considerable office gossip - and all his female co-workers behave as though Bob will offer at least some of them personal demonstrations even with his devoted wife on the premises. One short brunette in particular is very expressive in her body language -- and she's a good deal cuter than Bob's wife. When you think about it, the commercial is sort of creepy.

[Doktor Avalanche]

Besides, once you own a pornograph you might as well use it.......

Still using that hand-cranked model?

[LaVidaRoja]

Smilin' Bob at the Xmas party is still running on the Comedy Channel. As an ad! (Aired during a South Park episode tonight)