Magistrate Muirhead (From NH) Shows his Humor.
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ErsatzAnatchist
Magistrate Muirhead (From NH) Shows his Humor.
Who says Federal Judges (or at least Magistrates) have no sense of humor?
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webhick
- Illuminati Obfuscation: Black Ops Div
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Famspear
- Knight Templar of the Sacred Tax
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The Tax Protester's Dr. Seuss
I do not pay tax on a bus.
I do not pay without a fuss.
I do not like tax in the hall.
I do not like tax on the wall,
Unless they're thumb tacks -- that's OK.
I play with thumb tacks every day.
I won't pay taxes on my car.
I won't pay taxes in a bar.
I'll make a silly argument
To try to stop the government.
'Cause taxes just can't be for real,
And taxing is the same as "steal".
I want to keep my money near,
And never pay a tax -- that's clear.
I do not like a tax that's called
An income tax - and that's not all.
I may seem quite delusional;
I often am -- that's usual.
I do not pay tax on a bus.
I do not pay without a fuss.
I do not like tax in the hall.
I do not like tax on the wall,
Unless they're thumb tacks -- that's OK.
I play with thumb tacks every day.
I won't pay taxes on my car.
I won't pay taxes in a bar.
I'll make a silly argument
To try to stop the government.
'Cause taxes just can't be for real,
And taxing is the same as "steal".
I want to keep my money near,
And never pay a tax -- that's clear.
I do not like a tax that's called
An income tax - and that's not all.
I may seem quite delusional;
I often am -- that's usual.
"My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line." -- David Mamet
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Judge Roy Bean
- Judge for the District of Quatloosia
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Re: Magistrate Muirhead (From NH) Shows his Humor.
Now that is clever.ErsatzAnatchist wrote:Who says Federal Judges (or at least Magistrates) have no sense of humor?
The bench needs more Muirheads.
The Honorable Judge Roy Bean
The world is a car and you're a crash-test dummy.
The Devil Makes Three
The world is a car and you're a crash-test dummy.
The Devil Makes Three
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Demosthenes
- Grand Exalted Keeper of Esoterica
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webhick
- Illuminati Obfuscation: Black Ops Div
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- Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:41 am
Wasn't he also the same one that kind of flipped out on some Sui-like folks and said something about E&E spending the rest of their lives in jail? Or do I have the wrong judge again?Demosthenes wrote:This is the same judge who thought Ed Brown was neither violent nor a flight risk...
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie
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Demosthenes
- Grand Exalted Keeper of Esoterica
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Yep. They were Free State Project flakes who wore "I support Ed and Elaine Brown" t-shirts to a hearing for one of their members who was ticketed for handing out brochures at an IRS building.webhick wrote:Wasn't he also the same one that kind of flipped out on some Sui-like folks and said something about E&E spending the rest of their lives in jail? Or do I have the wrong judge again?Demosthenes wrote:This is the same judge who thought Ed Brown was neither violent nor a flight risk...
Demo.
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ErsatzAnatchist
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TheSaint
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wserra
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Demosthenes
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Judge: 'This egg will rot, I kid you not'
He turns to verse in rejecting submission
By ANNMARIE TIMMINS
Monitor staff
September 21. 2007 12:15AM
Before a judge renders an opinion, he might rely on case law or consider precedents established by the U.S. Supreme Court. But this week at the federal court in Concord, Magistrate Judge James Muirhead reached for his copy of Green Eggs and Ham.
Muirhead channeled Dr. Seuss after an inmate mailed him a hard-boiled egg to protest his diet at the state prison.
"No fan I am of the egg at hand," Muirhead wrote.
He continued: "I do not like eggs in the file. I do not like eggs any style."
Then Muirhead ordered the egg destroyed.
"Today! Today!" he demanded. "Today I say! Without delay!"
Muirhead could not be reached for comment, but Daniel Lynch, deputy clerk at the U.S. District Court on Pleasant Street, confirmed that the egg had been tossed.
But the case, brought by inmate Charles Jay Wolff last September, is pending and set for trial.
In his lawsuit, Wolff, 61 and serving 10 to 20 years for aggravated felonious sexual assault, has accused prison officials in Concord of refusing to feed him a kosher and medically adequate diet. In addition to the proper foods, Wolff seeks $10 million from the state.
The case is complicated and has required a lot of attention from court and state officials. It seems the prison has succeeded in providing Wolff, who says he's Jewish, a kosher diet. The problem, according to court records, is that some of those kosher items aggravate Wolff's heart, diabetes and other medical conditions.
Wolff responded at one point by refusing to eat the main course of his dinner 29 out of 31 days to avoid digestive problems, court records said. After researching the matter and hearing from Wolff and prison officials, Muirhead concluded in August that the prison had not responded to Wolff's medical needs and instead given him the "run around."
Muirhead ordered the prison to come up with a plan to better meet Wolff's dietary needs.
Hard-boiled eggs are among the foods Wolff says he cannot tolerate, and it was his understanding the prison would serve him eggs another way. So when Wolff was recently served hard-boiled eggs, he fired off a complaint to the federal court - with a hard-boiled egg attached.
Wolff sent a copy of his complaint, and another hard-boiled egg, to the state attorney general's office, which is representing the prison in the lawsuit.
Andrew Livernois, the attorney handling Wolff's case for the state, said the egg arrived in a padded envelope taped to a piece of paper. It was intact and hadn't begun to smell. It's an unusual piece of correspondence, not as bad as others, Livernois said.
One attorney in his office once received a pleading coated in dried urine. And legend has it that another attorney received dirty underwear from a litigant. Plus, Livernois agreed, the egg from Wolff could have been soft-boiled, or not boiled at all.
Livernois said that egg was put out with the trash. Muirhead's ruling, meanwhile, is circulating around the office.
Prison officials enjoy Muirhead's ruling but also wonder how Wolff got his egg into the mail. Jeff Lyons, prison spokesman, said the prison does not search mail sent by inmates if it is marked "legal documents" and addressed to a court or attorney's office. It's likely, he said, that Wolff sent his eggs that way.
Muirhead's order will almost certainly land on one of the many websites devoted to humor in the court system, like lawhaha.com. He'll find himself in good company and among at least one other Dr. Seuss fan.
In 2006, a Florida bankruptcy judge responded in rhyme to a debtor who had failed to file necessary information in time and risked dismissal. "I do not like dismissal automatic / It seems to me to be traumatic."
Another bankruptcy judge, this one from Texas, cribbed lines from the Adam Sandler movie Billy Madison to chastise a defendant's incomprehensible argument. "What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard," the judge wrote. "At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought."
Earlier this year, a Montana judge worked the names of Beatles songs into his order after a defendant referenced the group in his plea to the court. "As a result of your Hard Day's Night, you are looking at a Ticket To Ride that Long and Winding Road to Deer Lodge," the judge wrote. "Hopefully you can say both now and When I'm 64 that I Should Have Known Better."
Among the most circulated opinions from lawhaha.com is one issued last year by a Florida judge fed up with a pair of squabbling lawyers who could not agree on the site of an important deposition.
The judge ordered each lawyer to appear at a neutral site, or the courthouse steps, accompanied by one paralegal who would serve as a witness. There, the lawyers would play the game rock, paper, scissors to determine the deposition's location.
He turns to verse in rejecting submission
By ANNMARIE TIMMINS
Monitor staff
September 21. 2007 12:15AM
Before a judge renders an opinion, he might rely on case law or consider precedents established by the U.S. Supreme Court. But this week at the federal court in Concord, Magistrate Judge James Muirhead reached for his copy of Green Eggs and Ham.
Muirhead channeled Dr. Seuss after an inmate mailed him a hard-boiled egg to protest his diet at the state prison.
"No fan I am of the egg at hand," Muirhead wrote.
He continued: "I do not like eggs in the file. I do not like eggs any style."
Then Muirhead ordered the egg destroyed.
"Today! Today!" he demanded. "Today I say! Without delay!"
Muirhead could not be reached for comment, but Daniel Lynch, deputy clerk at the U.S. District Court on Pleasant Street, confirmed that the egg had been tossed.
But the case, brought by inmate Charles Jay Wolff last September, is pending and set for trial.
In his lawsuit, Wolff, 61 and serving 10 to 20 years for aggravated felonious sexual assault, has accused prison officials in Concord of refusing to feed him a kosher and medically adequate diet. In addition to the proper foods, Wolff seeks $10 million from the state.
The case is complicated and has required a lot of attention from court and state officials. It seems the prison has succeeded in providing Wolff, who says he's Jewish, a kosher diet. The problem, according to court records, is that some of those kosher items aggravate Wolff's heart, diabetes and other medical conditions.
Wolff responded at one point by refusing to eat the main course of his dinner 29 out of 31 days to avoid digestive problems, court records said. After researching the matter and hearing from Wolff and prison officials, Muirhead concluded in August that the prison had not responded to Wolff's medical needs and instead given him the "run around."
Muirhead ordered the prison to come up with a plan to better meet Wolff's dietary needs.
Hard-boiled eggs are among the foods Wolff says he cannot tolerate, and it was his understanding the prison would serve him eggs another way. So when Wolff was recently served hard-boiled eggs, he fired off a complaint to the federal court - with a hard-boiled egg attached.
Wolff sent a copy of his complaint, and another hard-boiled egg, to the state attorney general's office, which is representing the prison in the lawsuit.
Andrew Livernois, the attorney handling Wolff's case for the state, said the egg arrived in a padded envelope taped to a piece of paper. It was intact and hadn't begun to smell. It's an unusual piece of correspondence, not as bad as others, Livernois said.
One attorney in his office once received a pleading coated in dried urine. And legend has it that another attorney received dirty underwear from a litigant. Plus, Livernois agreed, the egg from Wolff could have been soft-boiled, or not boiled at all.
Livernois said that egg was put out with the trash. Muirhead's ruling, meanwhile, is circulating around the office.
Prison officials enjoy Muirhead's ruling but also wonder how Wolff got his egg into the mail. Jeff Lyons, prison spokesman, said the prison does not search mail sent by inmates if it is marked "legal documents" and addressed to a court or attorney's office. It's likely, he said, that Wolff sent his eggs that way.
Muirhead's order will almost certainly land on one of the many websites devoted to humor in the court system, like lawhaha.com. He'll find himself in good company and among at least one other Dr. Seuss fan.
In 2006, a Florida bankruptcy judge responded in rhyme to a debtor who had failed to file necessary information in time and risked dismissal. "I do not like dismissal automatic / It seems to me to be traumatic."
Another bankruptcy judge, this one from Texas, cribbed lines from the Adam Sandler movie Billy Madison to chastise a defendant's incomprehensible argument. "What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard," the judge wrote. "At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought."
Earlier this year, a Montana judge worked the names of Beatles songs into his order after a defendant referenced the group in his plea to the court. "As a result of your Hard Day's Night, you are looking at a Ticket To Ride that Long and Winding Road to Deer Lodge," the judge wrote. "Hopefully you can say both now and When I'm 64 that I Should Have Known Better."
Among the most circulated opinions from lawhaha.com is one issued last year by a Florida judge fed up with a pair of squabbling lawyers who could not agree on the site of an important deposition.
The judge ordered each lawyer to appear at a neutral site, or the courthouse steps, accompanied by one paralegal who would serve as a witness. There, the lawyers would play the game rock, paper, scissors to determine the deposition's location.
Demo.
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ErsatzAnatchist
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Scoop