August 11 is tomorrow

A collection of old posts from all forums. No new threads or new posts in old threads allowed. For archive use only.

What will the GREAT FAST be?

Bob won't show up
6
15%
It'll only be Bob and his videographer
9
23%
There will be a vast groundswell of support
0
No votes
If it comes off, it will last 1 day
3
8%
1 week
1
3%
1 month
0
No votes
Until Bob dies
0
No votes
Until Bob announces his death would be wasted
8
20%
Until Ron Paul rides to the rescue
1
3%
In a toga-dude-type miracle, he manages to GAIN weight
12
30%
 
Total votes: 40

Nikki

August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Nikki »

Will Bob break the fast by eating his words?
Should the Government fail to provide timely, substantive Redress by Friday August 8th, Bob Schulz will on Monday August 11th, initiate a hunger strike to secure Redress.

This important full-time protest event will occur on the National Mall, halfway between the Washington Monument and the U.S. Capitol. The event has been tentatively identified as "Hungering for Redress."

WTP Congress has applied for the permits necessary to support this event for its currently planned six-week duration.

The permits allow 24/7 occupation of the entire venue, with certain restrictions. The overall vision is to erect temporary tents and educational kiosks on the Mall, with hunger-strike protesters coming from every state to join in the non-stop protest, committing to whatever duration of time each person deems personally appropriate for their circumstances.

Current plans include provisioning the tents, fresh water and sanitary facilities on-site, as well as numerous staged events, including limited entertainment during the duration of the hunger protest. Plans are also being considered for live satellite Internet broadcasts from the protest events.
Any bets?
Last edited by Nikki on Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Famspear
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Famspear »

Should the Government fail to provide timely, substantive Redress by Friday August 8th, Bob Schulz will on Monday August 11th, initiate a hunger strike to secure Redress.
I wish the government would provide Bob Schulz with Redress. Specifically, get him out of those civvies and re-dress him in prison garb.
"My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line." -- David Mamet
LOBO

Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by LOBO »

Where's "In a toga-dude-type miracle, he manages to GAIN weight?"
fortinbras
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by fortinbras »

The last time he pulled this stunt, in the summer of 2001, he even posted a press release -- about "One Man Hungers, A Nation Prays" -- even before his last meal. He supposedly fasted for about 20 days ... without his clothes getting any looser (very discouraging for the rest of us who were considering that as a way to lose weight). His goal then was to compel the IRS to send representatives to debate him, at a confrontation of his own design, in a room rented at the Washington Press Club (which rents out a lot of rooms to non-journalists, including my college reunion), scheduled for Rosh Hashona (he was very insistent on the date - I suppose he wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be debating any Jews).
Quixote
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Quixote »

WTP Congress has applied for the permits necessary to support this event for its currently planned six-week duration.
Shouldn't those permits have been issued by now?
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fortinbras
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by fortinbras »

A healthy man (and Schulz is very well nourished) could probably survive a fast for six weeks (42 days) but he wouldn't be worth much by the fourth week and probably too weak to get out of bed before the fifth week.

I suggest someone show up with a bathroom scale every day and make Schulz get on it.
Nikki

Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Nikki »

fortinbras wrote:A healthy man (and Schulz is very well nourished) could probably survive a fast for six weeks (42 days) but he wouldn't be worth much by the fourth week and probably too weak to get out of bed before the fifth week.

I suggest someone show up with a bathroom scale every day and make Schulz get on it.
Is that an oxymoron or some other figure of speech?
Doktor Avalanche
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Doktor Avalanche »

Famspear wrote:
Should the Government fail to provide timely, substantive Redress by Friday August 8th, Bob Schulz will on Monday August 11th, initiate a hunger strike to secure Redress.
I wish the government would provide Bob Schulz with Redress. Specifically, get him out of those civvies and re-dress him in prison garb.
I hereby charge you with bad punnery and file with Judge Bean a motion of upward departure on the maximum fine of 50 Quatloos, effectively quadrupling it. :wink:
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grixit
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by grixit »

Upward Departure? Yay, they got the catapult fixed!
Three cheers for the Lesser Evil!

10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
. . . . . . Dr Pepper
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . 4
SteveSy

Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by SteveSy »

fortinbras wrote:without his clothes getting any looser (very discouraging for the rest of us who were considering that as a way to lose weight).
I've been on the toga-dude fasting diet for 6 years now, haven't lost a single pound. I'm beginning to think its like those weight loss pills I see on TV, all hype and no results. Very discouraging indeed.
Demosthenes
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Demosthenes »

grixit wrote:Upward Departure? Yay, they got the catapult fixed!
Fetchez la vache!
Demo.
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Mr. Mephistopheles »

Nikki wrote:
fortinbras wrote:A healthy man (and Schulz is very well nourished) could probably survive a fast for six weeks (42 days) but he wouldn't be worth much by the fourth week and probably too weak to get out of bed before the fifth week.

I suggest someone show up with a bathroom scale every day and make Schulz get on it.
Is that an oxymoron or some other figure of speech?
Double entendre?
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webhick
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by webhick »

SteveSy wrote:
fortinbras wrote:without his clothes getting any looser (very discouraging for the rest of us who were considering that as a way to lose weight).
I've been on the toga-dude fasting diet for 6 years now, haven't lost a single pound. I'm beginning to think its like those weight loss pills I see on TV, all hype and no results. Very discouraging indeed.
I've been on the toga-dude fasting diet for two years now, and have gained five pounds. It's hard to believe that such a simple diet could yield such big results. And it's so easy, even toga-fart can do it. Just follow these simple steps:

Cheeseburger after breakfast
Cheeseburger after lunch
Cheeseburger after dinner
Chocolate covered cheeseburger for dessert.

The results are amazing! I can finally fit into a size four! And I have an ass!
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jkeeb
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by jkeeb »

For the real toga-dieter

FOR WHEN WRETCHED EXCESS STILL ISN'T ENOUGH: The Krispy-Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger.

http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/07/almost-inedible.html
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Dezcad
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Dezcad »

Any sightings of Bob? Any word about the beginning of the "historic" death fast?
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webhick
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by webhick »

Dezcad wrote:Any sightings of Bob? Any word about the beginning of the "historic" death fast?
The Illuminati have issued an APB to all quick-service "restaurants."
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie
Nikki

Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by Nikki »

BREAKING NEWS :!:

It's official. Bob is a no show
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webhick
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by webhick »

Nikki wrote:BREAKING NEWS :!:

It's official. Bob is a no show
Did you check Denny's and IHOP?
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie
The Operative
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by The Operative »

Nikki wrote:BREAKING NEWS :!:

It's official. Bob is a no show
If you ask him about it, he'll say that he distinctly remembers forgetting about his death fast.
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak.
jkeeb
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Re: August 11 is tomorrow

Post by jkeeb »

Actually, it was a very quick "fast".
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