Bailouts Ruining CtC Scam

[webhick]

Uh oh, it looks like CtCers are gonna have to start paying taxes after all!

CAREFUL!

Watch what is happening real time. Through the "rescue" bills that are being shoved through the CONgress, the government is taking "equity" (ownership) positions in insurance, auto and banking companies.

These will now be federally connected entities, in my estimation.

Be aware where you work, bank, etc.

You may suddenly become an employee!

Stay tuned, I'm sure an owl will spew some nonsense about how if it wasn't federally connected when you hooked up with the institution then you can't be considered an employee no matter what happens. Or how the government having equity in these companies just means that you have to buy Pete's new book "Cracking the Government Equity Code." They'll then try to memorize the book verbatim while mixing that "knowledge" with what they've memorized from "Cracking the Code", which is much like giving yourself a mental swirlie.

EDIT: Don't they realize that there are faster and easier ways to ruin their financial futures? I mean, did they even try the casinos before choosing to spend umpteen hours a day researching and writing letters and fighting liens? One night at the slots could have the same effect. Actually, I take that back. At least you have a shot in hell of winning at the slots. And the slot machine didn't get convicted of mail-bombing, doesn't have a "Legal Offense Fund" that no one benefits from but the slot machine, it doesn't mind when you contradict it, and doesn't make you buy its book.

[LPC]

And the slot machine didn't get convicted of mail-bombing, doesn't have a "Legal Offense Fund" that no one benefits from but the slot machine, it doesn't mind when you contradict it, and doesn't make you buy its book.

When you ask a slot machine why you didn't win, it doesn't say that you pulled the handle wrong and need to try again, being more careful this time.

[webhick]

And the slot machine didn't get convicted of mail-bombing, doesn't have a "Legal Offense Fund" that no one benefits from but the slot machine, it doesn't mind when you contradict it, and doesn't make you buy its book.

When you ask a slot machine why you didn't win, it doesn't say that you pulled the handle wrong and need to try again, being more careful this time.

Nice one!

It also doesn't ban you from the casino when you announce that the slot machine's handle doesn't work. Nor does it expect you to volunteer your spare time to helping the slot machine prepare legal documents.

I think we need to get only one more to make a "Top Ten Reasons Why Playing the Slots are Better than Following Pete Hendrickson."

[Cpt Banjo]

A slot machine doesn't lose in court and get sanctioned on appeal.

Best of all, you can get free cocktails while you play the slot.

[Burzmali]

When the slot machine flashes and fires of a klaxon its because you won money, not that the cops are coming to take you to jail.

[wserra]

With a slot machine, you're in front of the bars, not behind 'em.

[webhick]

Looks like we're going for a top 20 list.

Casino bosses don't take back all your slot machine winnings, plus interest and penalties.

[Demosthenes]

From Title 26:

Section 777. Regulations

The Secretary shall prescribe such regulations as may be appropriate to carry out the purposes of this part.

[Nikki]

No one will pay $19.95 plus S&H for instructions on how to pull the lever.

[Famspear]

The slot machine is not going to tell you that "anything that is relevant" to winning can be found "accurately and appropriately addressed" only by that particular machine, nor will the slot machine tell you that "anything not found addressed" by that particular machine is "not relevant" to winning and will somehow "interfere with your accurate comprehension of the subject." In short, the slot machine is not a delusional, narcissistic blowhard.

[Famspear]

Here's what we're up to now, in no particular order.....

Top Fifteen Reasons Why Playing a Slot Machine is Better Than Following Pete Hendrickson’s Cracking the Code

1. The slot machine doesn't ban you from the casino when you announce that the machine's handle doesn't work.

2. The slot machine does not expect you to volunteer your spare time helping the machine prepare legal documents.

3. A slot machine doesn't lose in court and get sanctioned on appeal.

4. You can get free cocktails while you play the slot.

5. When the slot machine flashes and fires off a klaxon, it’s because you won money, not because the cops are coming to take you to jail.

6. With a slot machine, you're in front of the bars, not behind 'em.

7. Casino bosses don't take back all your slot machine winnings, plus interest and penalties.

8. No one will pay $19.95 plus S&H for instructions on how to pull the slot machine lever.

10. At least you have a shot in hell of winning at the slots.

11. The slot machine didn't get convicted of mail-bombing.

12. The slot machine doesn't have a "Legal Offense Fund" from which no one benefits except the slot machine.

13. The slot machine doesn't mind when you contradict it, and doesn't make you buy its book.

14. When you ask a slot machine why you didn't win, it doesn't say that you pulled the handle wrong and need to try again, being more careful this time.

15. The slot machine is not going to tell you that "anything that is relevant" to winning can be found "accurately and appropriately addressed" only by that particular machine, nor will the slot machine tell you that "anything not found addressed" by that particular machine is "not relevant" to winning and will somehow "interfere with your accurate comprehension of the subject." In short, the slot machine is not a delusional, narcissistic blowhard.

[Burzmali]

"Yanking the crank" has a COMPLETELY different meaning.

[Dezcad]

A slot machine doesn't ask you to make a "Warrior" video in support of it.

[The Operative]

I object. I would not characterize CTCers as slots players. Many of them probably think that slots is too easy and beneath them. CTCers are much more likely to be KENO players.

[grixit]

Uh oh, it looks like CtCers are gonna have to start paying taxes after all!


EDIT: Don't they realize that there are faster and easier ways to ruin their financial futures? I mean, did they even try the casinos before choosing to spend umpteen hours a day researching and writing letters and fighting liens? One night at the slots could have the same effect. Actually, I take that back. At least you have a shot in hell of winning at the slots. And the slot machine didn't get convicted of mail-bombing, doesn't have a "Legal Offense Fund" that no one benefits from but the slot machine, it doesn't mind when you contradict it, and doesn't make you buy its book.

And there's even a chance of a free drink or a maybe a sandwich. And as you leave, you'll be told "better luck next time". Sure that's code for the same thing Pete says: "come back when you have more money", but they make it sound nice.

[Cpt Banjo]

CTCers are much more likely to be KENO players.

Who no doubt think that they have a sure-fire system that can beat a game that has a 25-30% house edge. Of course, when it doesn't work out they complain that the game is rigged.

[jg]

CTCers are much more likely to be KENO players. :twisted:

Who no doubt think that they have a sure-fire system that can beat a game that has a 25-30% house edge. Of course, when it doesn't work out they complain that the game is rigged.

Ummm... perhaps I am slower than usual at this end of the week; but doesn't the 25-30% house edge mean that it is, in fact, rigged ?

[LPC]

CTCers are much more likely to be KENO players.

Who no doubt think that they have a sure-fire system that can beat a game that has a 25-30% house edge. Of course, when it doesn't work out they complain that the game is rigged.

Ummm... perhaps I am slower than usual at this end of the week; but doesn't the 25-30% house edge mean that it is, in fact, rigged ?

Not in the usual sense of "rigged."

All organized gambling includes a "house percentage" that is dictated by the published rules of the game. "Rigged" usually means that there is a secret edge that is contrary to the rules of the game.

A simple example is a lottery such as the Pennsylvania Daily Number, which is based on a three-digit number, chosen at random, and pays $500 for every $1 bet. But you can obviously see that the odds of winning are only 1 in 1,000, which means that, on average, the state will keep 50% of the money that is wagered. However, some people figured out how to rig the results in 1980, making the result not completely random. (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980_Penns ... ry_scandal for details.)

A more complex (but still relatively simple) example is roulette. If the roulette wheel contained only the numbers 1-36, alternating red and black, and a bet on black paid 2 to 1, while a bet on #36 paid 36 to 1, there would be no house percentage, and the casino would end up paying out as much money as it took in. As soon as you add the green 0 (and green 00), the odds favor the house, because people rarely play the green zeroes and so the house keeps all the bets in the one in 37 case (or 2 in 38 case) in which those numbers win. However, if the house added magnets to the wheel, making some numbers more likely than others, that would be rigging the game.

Card games such as blackjack are more complicated still, but the winning percentages are known in anyone willing to look them up.

The winnings on slot machines are established by state regulation.

[Cpt Banjo]

Ummm... perhaps I am slower than usual at this end of the week; but doesn't the 25-30% house edge mean that it is, in fact, rigged ?

What I was trying to say is that just as the LH fruitcakes claim that the "courts are corrupt" every time they rule against some crackpot anti-tax theory, so too would they claim that if their keno system failed, it must be because the casino cheated.

The casino has no need to cheat or otherwise tinker with the rules of keno, roulette, craps, or any other game they offer. Because the house always has a mathematical edge, it will always win in the long run. Blackjack is the sole exception. Since it can be beaten by card counting, the casinos have effectively "rigged" the game by changing the rules in a number of ways so as to increase the house edge and make counting less effective (e.g., increasing the number of decks; having the dealer hit soft 17; and offering an absurd single-deck game paying only 6:5 on a blackjack). Obviously, this isn't quite the same as actual cheating since these adverse rules can be known beforehand. A real rigged game would be like using a gaffed roulette wheel (Dan's example) or having a dealer in a pitch blackjack game (one where the dealer deals the cards from his hand rather than from a shoe) steer the cards to the player's disadvantage.

Columbus: I'll just step up here on the rigging and speak to them.

Ferdinand: You mean on top of everything else this ship is rigged?

Stan Freberg Presents the United States of America, Vol. 1 (1961)

[Burzmali]

I remember this website I read that had all this information written out, it was pretty cool, anyone remember the website. It even had this great story about a Keno Junket!