AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

"Buy 1 for yourself and get the chance to sell your friends and family 5 and get your downline started!" We examine the multi-level marketing industry, where only the people who come up with the ideas make any money, and everybody else is left unhappy, broke, and tired of reading scripts and selling overpriced vitamins and similarly worthless products. Includes Global Prosperity, Pinnacle Quest International, IRS Codebusters, Stratia, and other new Global Prosperity scams.

Moderator: wserra

Doc Bunkum
Scamologist General (MLM Division)
Posts: 321
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:45 am

AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Doc Bunkum »

This is totally awesome!
Amega Wand To The Rescue After Hit By A Car

It was a sad moment when I looked out the window after hearing excitement on the street in front of the house. There was my neighbor's tiny Daschund, lying motionless in the middle of the road after having been hit by a car.

My neighbor ran out, and scooped the little fella up in her arms, and when I met her in her yard, she proclaimed him to be "gone". As a former ICU nurse, it didn't take me long to note the half closed eyes with the glazed and empty look, his bleeding eye, the tongue drooping and no sign of breathing, no limb movement - nothing!

Nevertheless, I had my wand and of course immediately set to work, wanding the respective areas of the wee guy that could have been involved in the trauma. By the time I started this, he had not been breathing for at least a minute and a half. I persisted, and after 3 or 4 minutes further, there was a flicker in his one eye. Still no other movement. I sat down with him stretched out on my knees, and continued to wand furiously. I then noticed tiny movement in his lower abdomen - a sign of weak respirations. I simply kept at it - head, heart, lung area, neck. He soon opened his eyes and took a deep sigh, which could have been a last gasp, but by golly, it was a new beginning. He began to breathe deeper, and then began to cry.

He still hadn't moved a limb. I was worried that perhaps I had resuscitated a quadriplegic! I helped wrap him tightly in a towel to keep the spine from moving too much as the family roared off to the vet to make sure the dog had no internal injuries or skull fracture. There, attempts to encourage him to stand, failed until the last try, when the pup got up and walked to my neighbor!

Although exhausted, and prone to deep napping, the dog came home and has been perfectly fine ever since. I have wanded him on subsequent days - just to be sure, but he is truly intact and very much alive! The dog goes nuts when he sees me now. He knows something. The neighbors and the vet are quite awestruck, but Not Me! I love my AMWand!
Watch This Video: Amega Wand Used on Dying Dog

Unfortunately, several well informed sources confirm Amega Global will be closing it's doors on its USA operations on August 31.

Every Emergency Room, every ICU in the country should have one of these wands.

Imagine the savings to health care costs if only the FDA would open it's ears and listen to the testimonials rolling in about the wonders of this device!
User avatar
wserra
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Posts: 7627
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2003 6:39 pm

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by wserra »

Doc Bunkum wrote:This is totally awesome!
It is indeed. When I first saw the writeups for this stick, I figured it was an Onion parody of MLM "products". I mean, catch the following:
This futuristic wellness tool, AMEGA’s AMwand is a natural life force energy generating tool which is technically-engineered with 12 special minerals structurally bonded and energized using a proprietary AMizedTM Fusion Technology. The AMizedTM Fusion Technology causes a catalytic energy conversion creating a long lasting (10,000 years) AMizedTM resonance that is in line with our body’s frequency. The AMwand has the ability to transfer and rejuvenate the molecular structures of all liquids or matter. The AMizedTM resonance is a healing energy that our body requires in order to cleanse, charge and rejuvenate ourselves. As you can see it looks quite like a normal pen. This 25 year researched proprietary technology provides a field of zero point energy, where the cells within the body are reminded of their master blueprint that encourages perfection and self-healing. All the potential uses for the Amega AMwand on all living material, be it plant, animal or human, can be left up to the imagination of the user, because what is taking place is an increase in flow of new and useful information,along with energy, nutrients and waste in and out of cells of all origins. The use of the AMwand is very simple. Just point it close to whatever you are wanting to see a change in, and wave it clock-wise on the body, for several minutes or longer depending on the changes and that’s it. Have the client close their eyes and listen to their voice within while allowing the body to remember what it was like at zero point or source. There are so many uses. When wanding the water you normally drink, it becomes more of a solvent, more penetrable with less surface tension, getting to places in the body regular water cannot get to.
Classic new age gibberish: throw around some scientific-sounding words, in random order and ungrammatical text, and tell people they can make money. But it's a stick.

BTW, if you think you recognize the phrase "zero-point energy", you do. The villain Syndrome in The Incredibles used it.

The thing was $300. Can't imagine why they closed.
"A wise man proportions belief to the evidence."
- David Hume
Cathulhu
Order of the Quatloos, Brevet First Class
Posts: 1258
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:51 pm

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Cathulhu »

Doesn't Harry Potter use one of these?
Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to. T. Pratchett
Always be a moving target. L.M. Bujold
Judge Roy Bean
Judge for the District of Quatloosia
Judge for the District of Quatloosia
Posts: 3704
Joined: Tue May 17, 2005 6:04 pm
Location: West of the Pecos

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Judge Roy Bean »

wserra wrote:
...When wanding the water you normally drink, it becomes more of a solvent, more penetrable with less surface tension, getting to places in the body regular water cannot get to.
:? I can't think of any places in the body you'd want to get water into that it doesn't already get into.
The Honorable Judge Roy Bean
The world is a car and you're a crash-test dummy.
The Devil Makes Three
Doc Bunkum
Scamologist General (MLM Division)
Posts: 321
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:45 am

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Doc Bunkum »

wserra wrote:... I figured it was an Onion parody of MLM "products".
I thought Beverley was lampooning the wand at first too, but when I saw the accompanying video, I knew it had to be true.

I swear at the 3 min mark or so in that video I actually saw the dog self levitate several inches off the ground.

And those incantations she's chanting are totally awesome too.

She should record them and sell them to people that buy the stick.
Doc Bunkum
Scamologist General (MLM Division)
Posts: 321
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:45 am

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Doc Bunkum »

wserra wrote:Classic new age gibberish: throw around some scientific-sounding words, in random order and ungrammatical text, and tell people they can make money. But it's a stick.
Sounds like standard Deepak Chopra gibberish.

There's some awesome information on that blog I linked to above.

For instance, we learn that US Quantum Neurologists Use The Amega Wand .
Quantum Neurologists in the US headed by Dr. George Gonzales together with other doctors are now openly informing the public that they are using the Amega Wand in their medical practice.
Which raises the question, I suppose, what the heck is a Quantum Neurologist anyhow?

And more amazing testimonials. Like this one...

Amega Wand Helps Half Paralyze Man Due To Stroke...Stands, Walks...
Just a week ago, I met a man who was stricken by paralysis in the left side (whole) of his body due to stroke. He was a taxi driver. Since he had his stroke a few months ago, the situation made him immobilized. He would always depend assistance from his loving wife who was taking care of him. He cannot stand on his own, very weak, and has to be lifted every time. Until I was introduced to him and told him that I have a tool that might be able to help him.

I wanded him for more than an hour. And the results were…All the aches and pains were gone, he can stand on his own, and he can start walking on his own…

Indeed, the Genuine Amega Wand Works!

It Works…It Works…and It Works!
"Wanded him"?

Now there's an interesting expression. :D
Kestrel
Endangerer of Stupid Species
Posts: 877
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2011 8:09 pm
Location: Hovering overhead, scanning for prey

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Kestrel »

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Remember this?
I’ve been told
Someone in the know can be sure that his luck is as good as gold,
Money in the bank and you don’t even pay for it,
If you fold a dollar bill in the shape of the pyramid that’s printed on the back.
It’s no lie.
You can keep the edge of a razor as sharp as an eagle’s eye,
You can grow a hedge that is vertically straight over ten feet high,
All you really need is a pyramid and just a little luck.
---Pyramania, Alan Parsons Project, 1978
"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig." - Robert Heinlein
texino
Grand Debunker of Medical Quackery
Posts: 548
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2005 3:08 am

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by texino »

One sunny day I decided that I would rather fish than work. I took my wand and gave it to this old fellow who sits outside of the ER and tells people to move their cars. Then I said "Mr J. if any sick folk try to get in, you just point this stick at em and say DRATZO! and I'll bring you a mess o'fish." That's just what I did too. And one more thing, them fish stayed fresh for 17 days!
ҨTexino₪
Siga el dinero
El camino continúa por siempre, pero el partido nunca termina
texino@gmail.com
fortinbras
Princeps Wooloosia
Posts: 3144
Joined: Sat May 24, 2008 4:50 pm

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by fortinbras »

I found an American version:

http://www.freethewand.com/pages/compar ... 5QodqzeA5w

If I wave it at an ATM, will it spit money at me?
Thule
Tragedian of Sovereign Mythology
Posts: 695
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:57 am
Location: 71 degrees north

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Thule »

Doc Bunkum wrote: Which raises the question, I suppose, what the heck is a Quantum Neurologist anyhow?
Like a neurologist, only better. You know, because of quantum. Probably tachyons too. With words like these, you know it's gotta work.
Survivor of the Dark Agenda Whistleblower Award, August 2012.
User avatar
wserra
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Posts: 7627
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2003 6:39 pm

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by wserra »

Thule wrote:
Doc Bunkum wrote:Which raises the question, I suppose, what the heck is a Quantum Neurologist anyhow?
Like a neurologist, only better. You know, because of quantum. Probably tachyons too. With words like these, you know it's gotta work.
It's the smallest organism capable of being a neurologist. Other, larger neurologists can only exist in sizes that are certain multiples of the quantum.
"A wise man proportions belief to the evidence."
- David Hume
User avatar
wserra
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Quatloosian Federal Witness
Posts: 7627
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2003 6:39 pm

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by wserra »

texino wrote:And one more thing, them fish stayed fresh for 17 days!
And, of course, they were capable of getting to places regular fish cannot get to.
"A wise man proportions belief to the evidence."
- David Hume
Doc Bunkum
Scamologist General (MLM Division)
Posts: 321
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:45 am

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by Doc Bunkum »

wserra wrote:The thing was $300. Can't imagine why they closed.
A contributor on Dr. Bradley Nelson's blog:
Dr. Nelson, You can go to amwandzeropointenergy.com and purchase the wand for $87.95. And for $10.00 more you can purchase the pendant. Why get caught up with MLM and pay 2 to 3 times more for the same product.
Dr. Robert Schultz
From the amwand website...
THE MLM BRAND SELLS FOR $357.00...OUCH!


$87.95
Yeah, well, have to pay the upline you know. :naughty:
EagleOne
Cannoneer
Cannoneer
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2009 9:42 am
Location: Mission Viejo, CA

Re: AMEGA WAND Resurrects Dying Dog

Post by EagleOne »

Well Amega Global is gone, fini, toast, done, dust, history and is merging with Maakoa, whatever they are promoting. I guess they should have waived their magic wand over their company so it could have been saved.

All the magic wands have been boxed up and shipped to China. I think they sent them via USPS in one of their "if it fits, it ships" for one low price shipping box.
Lynndel "Lynn" Edgington
Founder/President Eagle Research Associates http://eagleresearchassociates.org
Author: Robbing You With A Keyboard Instead Of A Gun - Cyber Crime How They Do It Available in soft cover and eBook on Amazon.com