Stilley on a hunger strike

[grixit]

Coming soon to the USA Network. Timothy C: Outlaw. Roaming the West, with a Colt and a reputation, he called upon fugitives and desperados to join his reign of crime! Little did thay know that it was just a ploy, that he was really working for the United States Marshals Service and that anyone who followed him would soon find themselves behind cold penitentiary walls!

[Arthur Rubin]

Keyboard warning????

[webhick]

I asked Forrest City Low Security Prison to accommodate me to the extent of allowing me to make and consume juice

You'd think that you wouldn't have to ask the prison to accommodate your need to squash all the little buggies in the prison and bottle their essential squishiness for your own personal consumption.

either from fruits

Oh, you meant fruit juice. You know, I'm sure your cellmate would assist, provided you allow him to think of anyone but you when "you make the juice."

that I might scavenge from my employment in the prison dish room...

Oh, I thought you meant the other kind of fruit. My bad. Please send my apologies.

Wait, are you going to make juice from half-eaten fruit you find while doing the dishes in prison? What a great way to catch disease.

or by purchase from the prison food stores, or by such other means as would be satisfactory to the prison.

I find it funny that you list begging for table scraps as your first option in your attempts to procure fruit. Tell me, Oscar, can you tell it's not bacon?* Of course you can't. Bacon's not used fruit.

I asked the prison for reasonable accommodation of my religious and health rights and needs, which were the principal reasons for the juice fast.

Um, a lot of religions think a juice fast is not a real fast and any kind of fast has health risks, dumbass.

My medical need for this juice fast is very great.

Apparently, you have great medical need for headaches, tiredness, hypoglycemia, constipation, acne, fainting, dizziness, low blood pressure, heart arrhythmias, weight loss, hunger, vomiting, diarrhea, and kidney problems. All of which will be the prison's fault, I'm sure.

The progression of causes is as follows:

I'm dying to hear this.

The prison has for at least 5 years discharged humid dryer exhaust into the living quarters, creating ideal circumstances for the growth of black mold.

First of all, that's racist. It matters not the color of the mold, but the way it crawls up your wall and makes pretty designs. Besides, my landlord's dryer outputs practically right into my living room window and that shit just comes right in. It's not "black" mold. I had it tested. Waste of money, that was. And what does mold have to do with your stupid fast? Drinking juice won't make the mold go away. Unless the juice is spiked, in which case I want some.

This condition appears to spring from the confluence of negligence, incompetent administration,

And drinking juice will help this? I'm confused. I thought you needed your juice for medical and religious purposes. Will you be drinking your juice and praying to god that people get less stupid? I can assure this won't happen. People are stupid and getting dumber by the day. Why do you think I had to give a volunteer instructions on how not to stab himself with the clothing tagger. Again.

and such abject laziness that many employees aren’t even willing to watch inmates work.

Oooh, sexy. Watch me work, baby!

2) The prison has disregarded the sound advice of Carlos Reynolds, OSHA Area Office, Little Rock, Arkansas, to quit dumping the humid air into the living quarters, and then to clean up the black mold.

So OSHA knows about it, and yet they keep passing inspection. I love bureaucracy. Out of curiosity, will drinking juice mystically transmit the OSHA report to the inspection office?

3) The black mold has caused Stilley’s sinuses to swell up, itch and hurt from an allergic reaction. Because of the swelling Stilly mostly breathes through his mouth at night.

Could his sinuses be so swollen it's made his head expand as well? I think that might be part of what's happening here. Also, the allergies have been really bad this year. I spent most of the last six months leaking out my nose and eyes and breathing through my month. Stop being a pansy, Stilley and deal with your allergies like a man - with a box of tissues. Juice fasts won't make your allergies or sinus infections disappear like magic. Actually, the diarrhea will probably dehydrate you and make your infections worse. Good luck with that.

Side note - I had so many x-rays of my sinuses when I was younger, I could look at an x-ray and tell the doctor when I had an infection. And my eyes glowed in the dark. IN THE DARK. But it wasn't helpful because you know how when you go outside on a really bright day and then come back inside and you're literally still blinded by the outdoor light and can't see anything inside? Yeah, having eyes that glow in the dark is a lot like that. Only with more exorcisms. Holy water burns, BTW. NEVER get that shit on your skin.

4) Stilley now suffers from a procession of opportunistic upper respiratory infections, made all the worse by the fact that the prison population is 135-140% of capacity. Administration uses every device it can to use the overcrowding as a tool of abuse, rather than a mere unfortunate circumstance. For example, the compound is “open” only about 1/6th of the time. The dining hall is kept open as little as possible, with inmates routinely given as little as ten minutes to eat, some times less.

Yes, and juice fasting will suddenly make that extra 35-40% disappear. Well they might, since it also gives you body odor and bad breath. Send my condolences to your cell mate.

5) The prison denies Stilley the decongestant that he formerly used for allergies.

Probably because it has pseudoephedrine hydrochloride which you can make meth out of. Have you ever considered taking an ALLERGY medicine for your allergies? It has anti-histimines in it which can stop things before you get congested enough for hardcore decongesting. Just a thought. Or, you could try a juice fast. I hear it can de-crowd prisons, remove black mold, and cure laziness.

In its place the prison offers methyprednisolone, a steroid with many pernicious effects on the body.

Well, did you ever read the side-effects on that decongestant you were taking. I've been on a number, and none of it is pretty. At least Methy-whatever contains an anti-inflammatory which would bring down the swelling in your sinuses. But not your head. No, the big one. Nothing's that powerful.

Stilley refuses to trade temporary problems of the prison’s making for permanent bodily injury likewise of the prison’s making. The prison lets Stilley have a cheapo nuisance dust mask that is essentially worthless against allergens, but will not let his family send in a silk allergy mask that is in fact effective against allergens.

Tried both. Neither work. Maybe if you juice fast, you'll sneeze out a silk allergy mask. Why not? I sneezed out a piece of a carrot the other day. I can't even remember eating anything with carrots for like a week. So it's conceivable that with your miracle juice fast you could sneeze out something useful like an allergy mask. Or the keys to the prison. That'd be a neat trick.

6) Stilley has in the past had serious, long term lung illness that has scarred his lungs. The damage is apparent on X-rays. Another pneumonia type illness could be fatal, given the prison’s penchant for “management by crisis.”

So sleep sitting up so all that post-nasal drip doesn't make a gooey entrance into your lungs. Real people with real problems cope with their failing bodies. You pissmoan and drink juice.

Prison personnel threatened to immediately put Stilley in the Special Housing Unit (SHU), aka “the hole” or “solitary confinement” upon the cessation of eating.

Yeah, that kind of happens when you break the rules. Maybe you could....not break the rules. Thought I was going to recommend a juice fast, didn't you?

Prison personnel say that Stilley will lose his job and access to the dish room, currently his only source of fruits to scavenge for juice.

Are...are you seriously complaining about the prison officials stopping you from dumpster diving?

They say that juice will not be given upon request in the SHU. It is implied that cold temperatures and lack of adequate clothes and bedding will be used as a tool of coercion, much as it was used against dissidents by the Soviet Union.

OR THE NAZIS! JUICE DRINKING NAZIS.

In other words, Stilley’s last meaningful avenue for defense of his health will be blockaded by the administration of this prison, if they follow through on their threats. Forced feeding eliminates all the health benefits of fasting.

So now it's the last meaningful avenue for defense of Stilley's health? I could have sworn that it was for religious purposes. Oh, it's for health benefits now? Funny how this is the first time in this correspondence it was mentioned.

I agree not to commence juice fasting, except by agreement with the prison, prior to October 19, 2010.

My cop-out has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R....

I will favorably consider any good faith request by the BOP for more time.

As if you're in a position where you'd have a choice.

During the extension, it is respectfully requested that the BOP:

1) Reflect upon the possible consequences of its threatened course of action;

Stilley goes on juice fast AKA "Hunger Strike" with detrimental benefits to health , Stilley gets thrown in hole and force-fed, Stilley stops juice fast. Reflection done.

2) Set forth a basis for its threatened actions, including specific authority for immediate detention in SHU. This should include a reasoned analysis of the 1st Amendment religious, speech, and petition rights of Stilley;

I love it. Now the prison has to tell you about the 1st Amendment rights of jackasses who break the law and whine incessantly about the consequences thereof.

3) Explain how Stilley is expected to protect his health given the health threats explained above, in light of the denial of basic medicines and medical devices that would ameliorate the damage caused by BOP negligence; and

Take an allergy pill, recognize that a silk allergy mask is only a medical device in the case of severe allergies, and stop acting like a little bitch. In prison. Not a good combination.

4) Consider a less confrontational approach.

Consider an approach wherein you actually make a reasonable argument that deserves pondering for more than a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a second of someone's time that is not my own.

Stilley is willing to conform to the protocols of the Program Statements, in order to allow the prison to verify that Stilley’s physical condition does not justify the use of punitive segregation, or forced feeding. If juice fasting provides real health benefits, as Stilley suggests, such should be objectively verifiable.

I'm sure the prison health system will wholeheartedly agree with the benefits as soon as all those nasty juice fasting side-effects begin.

The Department of Justice-Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) accommodates the Ramadan fast practiced by Muslims. It does not simply turn its head and let Muslims fend for themselves the best that they can. How does the BOP propose to explain its harsh treatment of Stilley’s juice fast, which is done for religious as well as health reasons? The fasting sermon that changed Stilley’s life, preached to Grand Avenue Baptist Church in Fort Smith, in midsummer of 2009, is publicly available on the church website. Pastor Jeff Crawford recommended juice fasting, and Stilley took his advice.

Oh, here's the religious argument. Ramadan is actually a pretty reasonable fast. It's not drinking juice for x amount of days, it's abstaining from eating from sunrise to sunset for one month out of the year and in lieu of that (for medical reasons, etc) feeding the poor. Since the prison population can't exactly feed the poor, the only option they're left with is the fast. You're talking about only drinking juice for how many days straight? You're going to cause major damage to yourself and the prison is stuck dealing with the consequences.

And besides, I thought this was a protest. Or was it for health reasons. Maybe now it's for religious reasons. You know, maybe we'd all buy this whole "religious" angle if it was just that and maybe the health thing. But you throw in the protest and it just looks like you're looking for religious protection to justify your temper tantrum.

This is an unnecessary quarrel. The BOP might face down, or failing that wear down, Oscar Stilley in his quest to juice fast. Such might well turn out to be a Pyrrhic victory. The BOP’s proposed course of conduct gains little under any circumstances, and entails a not insignificant risk that the BOP might be embarrassed.

Yeah, I don't see why they won't let you do it. I mean, it's not like you're going to sue them when you get kidney damage, dangerously low blood pressure, heart problems, or lose too much weight and they strap you down and try to save your life. Oh....wait...forgot who I was talking to.

[snipped crab about the federal budget, the GDP, the deficit, and something about healthcare. ]

The BOP puts me in a “Catch 22″ situation. The BOP complains that individualized accommodation is too troublesome for their bureaucracy. Yet when I state a willingness to let anyone who asks use my equipment for their own juice fasting needs, it is implied that I am somehow stirring up trouble.

Your juice fasting equipment can kill someone, numbnuts. I mean, hardly anyone in prison can read or right, but I bet they can get the sharp bits of that juicer out in under 15 seconds.

I’m technically asking only for myself. I ask that the BOP at the very minimum get out of the way and let me juice fast, without the threat of solitary confinement, loss of employment, force feeding, etc. Better yet, agree to grant full and reasonable accommodation of my juice fasting needs.

Yes, you should have all the rights and privileges of someone who is not in prison and living on our tax dollars. Well, not your tax dollars. You evaded.

If the objective results show that my health is bettered and not injured by my juice fasting, then the BOP should encourage rather than sabotage attempts to juice fast.

It will be unlikely that you're health will be bettered by any measurable results before the side-effects take over. You really think you're the first one to do this?

Please consider the following solution. I hereby offer to convey my two juicing machines, in trust nevertheless, to a “Health and Safety Committee” which is clearly contemplated by this prison’s placard concerning compliance with OSHA health and safety regulations, for the use and benefit of any interested inmate of this prison. This would solve the problem of individualized accommodation, since any inmate wishing to juice fast could access the equipment.

"Yes, warden, I would respectfully like to borrow Oscar's juicing machine. You see, I have a disagreement with my cellmate and I think that it would a useful debating tool. Also, it would solve a bit of our overcrowding situation here and thereby make your job a little bit easier."

It has been suggested that my use of the term “hunger strike” is problematic. There is a solution to this matter as well. The BOP should first gather sufficient information to guide its decision making process. Then it should redefine the term “hunger strike” to exclude any juice fast for religious, health, or personal reasons.

But yours is a hunger strike, you're using it to protest the living conditions.

[snipped religious stuff, including scripture. Not really in the mood.]

Would you respect the faith of a “Christian” who allowed another human being to suffer and perhaps die, rather than telling them what they believe to be a safe, natural, inexpensive way to restore their good health?

Funny statement coming from a guy who was described by a judge as a fraud and predator.

Upon admission to the Arkansas bar of attorneys, Stilley affirmed that he would not “reject the cause of the oppressed for any reasons personal to myself” or words to that effect. Clearly, staying out of SHU, avoiding the trauma of strangers putting a feeding tube down tender, inflamed nasal passages, all amount to “reasons personal to me.”

OMG, this is where Stilley talking about himself in third person gets super stupid. Of course it's personal to you - you're the one it's going to happen to.

Although Stilley is suspended pending disbarment, no one has absolved him of his attorney’s oath, legally, morally, ethically, or otherwise.

Pity he didn't remember that when he screwed over the clients which caused him to get slapped on the wrists by the Lawyer Police.

What I am trying to do does not in any way threaten the good order or security of the prison.

Except by putting sharp objects in the hands of felons. You know, other than that.

Tell them to eliminate any possible excuse for the failure of juice fasting to provide its highest and best health benefits. Tell them to allow their medical data to be collected, aggregated, and analyzed for statistical and other purposes.

You mean....use you as a human test subject. LIKE THE NAZIS?!?!

If in fact juice fasting remediates serious and expensive illnesses, only one question remains.

Yeah. How many more problems does it cause?

*I was saving that for a shape-shifter or werewolf joke, but now's a good a time as any.

[Imalawman]

Thanks Webby! Good Stuff.

What a whiney little bitch. Hey, it's prison!!! It sucks!! What'd you expect? A high class resort? As long as I'm paying for your incarceration, I say serve 'em gruel and throw 'em a lime now and then to prevent scurvy. That's it.

[Pottapaug1938]

Thanks Webby! Good Stuff.

What a whiney little bitch. Hey, it's prison!!! It sucks!! What'd you expect? A high class resort? As long as I'm paying for your incarceration, I say serve 'em gruel and throw 'em a lime now and then to prevent scurvy. That's it.

The Problem is that Stilley sees himself as a Martyr For The Holy Cause; and he probably thinks that, if we can't see the correctness of his positions , we should at least incarcerate him in comfort.

[Burzmali]

Well, all things considered, seeing as how the US seems hell bent on maximizing the percent of its population that is or has been in prison, you'd think we'd be better at it. There doesn't seem to be evidence that poor prison coniditions reduce recidivism, in fact some Italian researchers found no connection between prison conditions and recidivism (ftp.iza.org/dp3395.pdf).

I mean, if we aren't going to be good at manufacturing any more, our financial system is still recovering from nuking the world economy, and any service job worth moving is going overseas, you'd think that we'd stick with our strengths and at least do up this prison thing right.

edit: typo

[LPC]

I announced a juice fast to commence October 7, 2010, which according to prison “Program Statements” is a de facto “hunger strike.”

Okay, you're going on a hunger strike.

I asked Forrest City Low Security Prison to accommodate me to the extent of allowing me to make and consume juice, either from fruits that I might scavenge from my employment in the prison dish room, or by purchase from the prison food stores, or by such other means as would be satisfactory to the prison.

I asked the prison for reasonable accommodation of my religious and health rights and needs, which were the principal reasons for the juice fast.

Oh, then it's not really a hunger strike, but a religious and health need?

I did in the notice to the prison alternatively refer to the juice fast as a “hunger strike” simply because my behavior meets the official definition of a hunger strike.

But it's not really hunger strike?

3) The black mold has caused Stilley’s sinuses to swell up, itch and hurt from an allergic reaction. Because of the swelling Stilly mostly breathes through his mouth at night.

Either there are two "Stilley's" in that prison with the same medical problems, or someone has suddenly switched from first person to third person, which is never a good sign.

I agree not to commence juice fasting, except by agreement with the prison, prior to October 19, 2010. I will favorably consider any good faith request by the BOP for more time. During the extension, it is respectfully requested that the BOP:

Wait, now you've totally lost me.

You want the prison to enable you to juice fast, which is not a hunger strike, and if you're allowed to juice fast you'll agree NOT to juice fast if the prison will make certain concessions, which means that you're using the threat of a juice fast just like the threat of a hunger strike, even though you think that juice fasting is not really a hunger strike?

I think that Stilley and Stilley need to have a long talk with each other.

[Demosthenes]

Prison hooch
Pruno
Jail wine

It goes by a lot of names.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4481159_ferment-pruno.html

[Gregg]

Doesn't sheriff Joe or someone have a protein loaf kind of thing that he had a nutritionist design to both meet the caloric requirements of some FDA guideline and also be as appetizing as roasted cat turds?

This sounds like a program ready to be tested in the federal system.
Oh wait, it looks like some federal prisons do use it...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutraloaf

Since it uses no utensils and is served on a piece of paper instead of a tray, Oscar can't complain about dirty dishes, not to mention that as a dishwasher, it makes his day easier!

[grixit]

Don't they serve juice in prison anyway?

[Gregg]

Stilley is a f*cking moron.

There are two very simple reasons that juicers are not allowed in prison:

1. Juiced fruits would be used to make "pruno" or some other form of raw, jailhouse alcohol - a verboten activity.

2. Juicer also makes a real nifty torture device. Insert fingers, toes, or any other bandly things that the juicer can snag ans squish and you have a recipe for some serious maimings and cleaning up of blood.

But, Stilley is so consumed with just himself, he never, ever bothers to consider that the BOP (as well as state facilities) have rules in place to prevent certain activities that have nothing to do with him. F*ck him and any *ssclown that thinks he is being treated unfairly.

Next he'll be denied his Shinto Religious need for Ginsu Knives. Oh the horror!

[grixit]

around 1970 there was a prisoner who claimed to be a satanist who sued the prison for religious accommodations. It seems they wouldn't let him have a naked woman to use as an altar.

[Famspear]

around 1970 there was a prisoner who claimed to be a satanist who sued the prison for religious accommodations. It seems they wouldn't let him have a naked woman to use as an altar.

Well, that would be a creative way to increase attendance at the services......



EDIT: And now, for the Quatloos Top Ten List of Naked Women We Would Most Like To See Used an an Altar in Religious Services......

I would start the list off with.....

Salma Hayek!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salma_Hayek

[Gregg]

Diane Lane

[Pottapaug1938]

Penélope Cruz, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Julianne Moore

[bmielke]

I'll second Emma Watson

[bmielke]

I'll add Heidi Klum

[Famspear]

Penélope Cruz, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Julianne Moore

mmmm...... a naked Julianne Moore -- as an altar in a religious service......

That would definitely be a religious experience for me!

[Pottapaug1938]

We've got to add Zooey Deschanel too. Between that dark hair and those eyes....

[Pangea]

October 8, 2010

Harley G. Lappin, Director-Federal Bureau of Prisons
National Headquarters
-----------------
(big gigantic snip)
-----------------
Thank you kindly for your consideration of this request.

Kindest personal regards,

Oscar Stilley, 10579-062
Forest City Low
os

CC: T.C. Outlaw-Warden; 870-494-4496 fax

That was some of the most enjoyable reading I've done all year. The ability of some to twist and turn facts into something completely unrecognizable fascinates me. Yep, that was fun! Perhaps the best part was the ending: following a venomous 2,000+ word diatribe of insults, passive-aggressive jabs and self-indulgent rhetoric (Soviet dissidents? Really? ) Stilley signs off with "Kindest personal regards."

The guy certainly has a set. (And I'm not talking about juicers.)