Eddie Kahn on trial, again

[Demosthenes]

Jury selection was supposed to start on the 9th, but one of the defendants turned fugitive. He's still missing, but void dire took place today.

11/09/2009 Minute Entry for proceedings held before Judge Henry H. Kennedy: Voir Dire begun and concluded as to EDDIE RAY KAHN, STEPHEN C. HUNTER, DANNY TRUE and ALLAN J. TANGUAY on 11/9/2009. Jury Selection begun and held. Defendant HUNTER not present, bench warrant to issue. Jury Selection continued to 11/12/2009 at 09:45 AM in Courtroom 27A before Judge Henry H. Kennedy. Bond Status of Defendants: Defendant #1- committed; commitment issued, #2- fugitive and #3 and #5- remain on personal recognizance. (Court Reporter: Annie Shaw; Defense Attorneys: #1- Pleasant Brodnax (stand-by), #2- Edward Sussman (stand-by), #3- James Lyons (stand-by) and #5- Michael Hannon; US Attorneys: Jeffrey A. McLellan, Melissa Siskind and Tino Lisella) (tnr, ) (Entered: 11/12/2009)

[LPC]

void dire took place today.

Then I guess we need to start looking for a dire that's not void?

[Demosthenes]

void dire took place today.

Then I guess we need to start looking for a dire that's not void?

Oh, crud.

[Famspear]

void dire took place today.

Then I guess we need to start looking for a dire that's not void?

Oh, crud.

Oh, you might be world's greatest speller,
Knowing every word -- ceiling to cellar.
But your rightness won't last
When you're typing too fast,
So, slow down -- that's what I'd try to tell her.

Edited once -- for spelling, no less!

[Gregg]

hmm, so twenty quatloos bounty for the first one to find a typo in the (allegedly) forthcoming book?

[Demosthenes]

There's no court today, so jury selection will continue on Monday, with opening arguments likely to occur on Monday afternoon.

[Imalawman]

Oh, you might be world's greatest speller,
Knowing every word -- ceiling to cellar.
But your rightness won't last
When you're typing too fast,
So, slow down -- that's what I'd try to tell her.

Edited once -- for spelling, no less!

You are hereby fined 20Q for repeated attempts at poetry.

[The Observer]

You are hereby fined 20Q for repeated attempts at poetry.

Don't you mean for successful attempts at bad poetry?

[Famspear]

You are hereby fined 20Q for repeated attempts at poetry.

Don't you mean for successful attempts at bad poetry?

Oh, they say that these verses are bad,
And it’s clear that they’re trite – just a tad!
I confess that they’re mine--
Every moribund line--
But you’ve read them, and now you’ve been had!

[Judge Roy Bean]

...

Oh, they say that these verses are bad,
And it’s clear that they’re trite – just a tad!
I confess that they’re mine--
Every moribund line--
But you’ve read them, and now you’ve been had!

Yes, we say your limericks are bad
And far worse than "trite - just a tad!"
Like TP's ignoring the danger
Of frivolous filings that anger
To your penalties I'll only add.

[Doktor Avalanche]

I thought the very worst poetry of all was created by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England.

It (along with her) are scheduled to perish with Earth's impending destruction by a Vogon constructor fleet making way for a hyperspatial bypass.

[Nikki]

All of which is equally relevant to Eddie's trial as were Eddie's theories to tax law.

[jkeeb]

Vogon Constructor Fleet would be an excellent name for a rock band.

[jcolvin2]

I thought the very worst poetry of all was created by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England.

Worse than Vogon poetry?

[wserra]

Worse than Vogon poetry?

Judge for yourself:

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
See if I don't.

[Judge Roy Bean]

Worse than Vogon poetry?

Judge for yourself:

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
See if I don't.

Ah - Van Peltism in attempted poetry.

[Demosthenes]

The Kahn trial is postponed. The judge got sick.

[Doktor Avalanche]

The Kahn trial is postponed. The judge got sick.

Can't say I blame him.

[Demosthenes]

Ocala man arrested for tax fraud related to Snipes
Updated: Thursday, 28 Jan 2010, 1:20 AM EST

Another arrest made in the tax fraud case with connections to actor Wesley Snipes. U.S. Marshals tracked down a man accused of helping bilk more than one billion dollars out of the federal government. The feds had to cross state lines to catch up with this guy.

Marshals caught Steven Hunter in Georgia last night. He's been on the run since November.

Hunter failed to appear for his sentencing in November 2009.

He was indicted by a federal grand jury in September 2008. His charges include conspiracy to defraud the us government, mail fraud and aiding and abetting. He was charged with four others who are all believed to be part of a group called the American Right's Litigators.

Cops say the group convinced more than four thousand people not to pay taxes to the federal government. Actor Wesley Snipes says he's one of those people. In February of 2008 Wesley Snipes was acquitted on federal tax fraud and and conspiracy charges. He was charged with three counts of failing to file tax forms.

Hunter is now in custody in Georgia. He could face additional charges for not showing up to his sentencing.

[Demosthenes]

The story above got the facts wrong. Hunter failed to show for his trial, not sentencing. The trial was supposed to start last November and got most of the way through jury selection when the judge got sick. The trial has been rescheduled for April.