First and last

[JamesVincent]

Hey all, long time no see. I was pretty busy raising 3 kids, building up my business and, of course, the constant court dates due to my ex. Then my beloved computer had a heart attack on me and I just never got around to replacing it until now.

Was just gonna tell you all goodbye. We were doing pretty good until a couple of weeks ago. We had a situation blow up in our faces. As of right now the Commonwealth of Kentucky has my children, I'll be homeless after tomorrow, all of my contracts went bye bye, along with 95% of my "friends". I don't know yet but I may be facing some pretty long jail time here in the next few months. Guess it's a good thing my physical condition has been improving, down over 80# from the time period when I had my stroke.

What I did was relatively minor. However what someone else did with me was a really big no-no. And, since I was the recipient, I may very well be bearing the brunt of it. To keep from destroying her life I might have to bite the bullet and take it as it goes. We'll see how it plays out. I have some hope that both of us will walk away with very little but it's one of those things.

Needless to say my ex has already filed to take custody of the kids away from me (good luck with that since Kentucky has custody right now). I'm gonna be pretty stressed for the next few months. When, and if, I have some solid news I'll try to get back here and let you all know. In the meantime if you want to get ahold of me, IDK. I'll send my email address to Wes, don't want to post it on here.

You guys were like a second family to me. Which, considering how fucked up my family, isn't much of a compliment but I enjoyed the discussions over the years.

[The Observer]

James, sorry to hear of your situation, but I certainly hope that you sail through it with minimal time and that you can rebuild your life. I know that you had a number of challenges, but admire you for the fact that you made your kids your number one priority. I will get your email address so that you can stay in touch with me.

[Famspear]

James, I receive your news with sadness. Keep your chin up; our thoughts are with you. Sometimes when we go through difficult situations, the experience turns out to be a turning point that leads to something better. I'm praying that this will be your experience.

[Burnaby49]

I'll add to above. I've enjoyed your contributions over the years. I recently checked your postings to see when you were last here because I'd been noting your absence for a while. Please update when you can be more specific.

[bmxninja357]

dont let life get the best of you brother. many folks have trouble with the child services, particularly in today's politically correct sewer of self righteousness. i have no kids but i know many folks who do. im sure it will work out. by your posts you seem a smart man so one thing at a time and you'll have your time with them.

i can relate to homelessness. in my younger days i was often homeless. usually by choice, but not always. i had dealt with the oil boom in alberta and got sick of rent going up. one place had our rent more than double in under a year. (pre-rent control) and now i live in a motorhome. this is something i have done now for a decade at least. in that time i have never spent a red cent on rent. well, not my own rent anyway. i highly recommend doing this brother. at least until some of your woes blow over. you can save money and concentrate on the things you can fix. if you need any advice on doing such a thing just pm me.

prison. that sucks man. been a long while since i have been there for any longer than a night in the drunk tank. lol. just keep your head down and mind your manners and you'll make it out. do not let the others, guards or inmates see you down. and i doubt your stay will be exceptionally long.

have you considered making a go fund me? any port in a storm my friend. and a few bucks might help get you by until the smoke clears. and maybe someone here has a old but use-able laptop they could send ya. if you would have caught me sooner i would have sent you one. but unfortunately i had purged much of my computer stuff i dont need.

hang in there man. hope we see ya again soon.
peace,
ninj

[JamesVincent]

I just wanted to add something. I spent a little over a day in ICU out here. Apparently I have a defective heart valve. So, yeah, I really am well and truly screwed up right now. They found out after I had mini heart attack after mini heart attack in the truck and I'm guessing stress didn't help anyway.

I would not object at all if someone wanted to start a gofundme for me, the kids and I need some serious help right now. I go to court 17 Aug, who knows whats going on with the other components of this issue and right now I'm so exhausted I can hardly move.I've got a Walmart clearence laptop I'm using but having a place to live is going to be a big deal right now. And a new truck, mine has over 200k miles and I blew the clutch weeks ago and can't afford to fix it.

I'm looking at buying property so I can build our own house. IDK, I'm just pretty wiped right now.

[Burnaby49]

Check your PMs.

[JamesVincent]

An update.

I just finished 90 days in the graybar hotel for my minor part in this, pardon the pun. Since only Wes would catch that I'll elaborate.

I allowed a minor to drink alcohol in my home. I was charged with it and pled guilty to avoid sitting in the hooskah for anywhere up to 8 months waiting for an actual trail and sentencing. That was the minor part, the rest I'll talk about some other time.

To put it in a nutshell I completely lost it over a period of several months. I myself went back to drinking after a 21 year period of sobriety. I did some things I shouldn't have and made some bad decisions. Looking back there are several things I wish I could change....and some I wouldn't. Again, not gonna elaborate here right yet, maybe in PM. After over 8 years of single parenthood and constant court battles, constant police visits and social services investigations I was, quite frankly, half insane. Not to mention my medical issues, the kid's medical and mental issues. So when I said I lost it I came very close to being admitted and was actually hospitalized myself at one point. I could not get out of bed without help anymore, could hardly drive and had a seriously hard time working at my potential.

So it is time to start the rebuilding process. I have some short term goals that I am working on and some long term I am finalizing. I restart therapy next week and will start working with my attorney to get visitation back with my children. I also renewed my faith while in jail and am feeling stronger than I have in quite awhile. Honestly, looking back, I was in no shape to care for a pet parakeet, much less 3 special needs children. I obviously wish that it had worked out differently but, yeah, I needed to be away from them for awhile, I was no good to them and they deserved better then what I was able to give them.


edit: wasn't thinking about what I was posting.

[Judge Roy Bean]

Best wishes to you and your family.

My only suggestion is to imagine in great detail what you would like the future to be and measure your future decisions against whether the results contribute or detract from that view.

[The Observer]

Also, you need to recognize that it is all right to be at a place where you admit you cannot handle all of everyone's problems and that you need assistance - even if it is with local social programs. Given the brief history you have related over the years, you have had a very tough challenge put upon you, and unlike a lot of people, you didn't throw your kids out with the garbage. You kept them together and provided a home for them. You made a mistake, you recognize it, and you are repairing the damage. You didn't fail, you just fell. Now its time to pick yourself up and keep moving.

[Famspear]

Dear James: As you are a parent of children with special needs, you may feel that many people have no idea what you're going through every day, in trying to care for them -- and if so you are probably right. Caring for your child or children can be a lonely and isolating experience, on top of everything else. Best of luck to you.

[Number Six]

I hope you do better in the future James, and hopefully get to some AA meetings as you indicated you are battling a return of John Barleycorn. Getting to 12 step meetings would help anyone be grateful for what they do have. I went to a couple GA meetings as I was wasting money on scratch-offs, not a lot, gambling too is an insidious addiction and there are many resources for that.

[Qweek]

When difficulties begin to happen in life, this means that we are going along the wrong path. Psychologists are very helpful when hard.