Now It Can Be Told

Doktor Avalanche · Post by **Doktor Avalanche** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:20 am

I'm not sure this would qualify under any definition of a Good Life, but...

I just recieved orders today. I am deploying to that garden spot, the jewel of the
Middle East - sunny Afghanistan.

Yes, Afghanistan - where the cottage industry is creating rubble, where vests come in two styles (bulletproof and suicide), where the men have more wives than teeth, where they really walk a mile for a camel, where the question "does this burka make my ass look fat" is asked, where they believe every word of the Koran but don't know how to read, where they think television is dangerous but routinely carry live ammunition in their pockets, where they can't think of anyone they HAVEN'T declared Jihad against, where they're amazed that cell phones can be used for purposes other than setting off roadside bombs, where the phrase "I love what you've done with the cave" is uttered, where they refine heroin for a living but have a moral objection to beer and where they wipe their butts with their bare left hands but consider bacon "unclean".

Yes, that Afghanistan. I leave in May and slated to return in July 2011.

Lambkin · Post by **Lambkin** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:05 am

Hoping for your safe return.

Doktor Avalanche · Post by **Doktor Avalanche** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:26 pm

Lambkin wrote:Hoping for your safe return.

Thank you, Lambkin.

I should note that this is a 15 month (480 day) deployment with 350 of those 480 days spent in country.

Though I knew this was a possibility when I enlisted and was fully prepared to accept the order to go when it was given I'm not happy about this.

I don't think anyone in their right mind would be. Your mileage may vary.

Post by **Pottapaug1938** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:08 pm

I'll echo what Lambkin said, Doc. Please stay safe, and try to keep in touch. We'll all be looking forward to your return.

Post by **wserra** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:13 pm

Godspeed.

Post by **webhick** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:49 pm

Best of luck, Dr. A.

Post by **Prof** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:50 pm

Thank you for your service; good luck and Godspeed.

bmielke · Post by **bmielke** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:54 pm

Hey Doc,

Keep your head down, and stay safe, With any luck we will start withdrawing and you won't have to spend all 350 days in country please stay in touch.

Doktor Avalanche · Post by **Doktor Avalanche** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:30 pm

Thank you all.

Here's a kick in the head, CK: I'm being loaned out to the Army. I can hear your dad (God rest him) chuckling now.

fortinbras · Post by **fortinbras** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:20 pm

A gratuitous bit of advice for eventual VA benefits claims:
Keep a diary (or emails that someone back home will save carefully) detailing every mission, every illness and injury (not just bullets, but the local water, weather extremes, etc.), name of every doctor and medic who treats you for even the slightest thing ("Doc" is not a sufficient identifier), every traumatic event (physical or psychic). These come in very handy eventually, maybe decades down the road, when trying to pry loose some VA benefits.

Brandybuck · Post by **Brandybuck** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:48 pm

Personally I wouldn't want to go there, but if that's your bag then more power to you!

texino · Post by **texino** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 1:53 am

Hey, you be safe. If you take that "Stick" just make sure your portable amp is not a "Pig-nose" Know what I'm saying? See you when you get back. OK? Fine.

TT

Doktor Avalanche · Post by **Doktor Avalanche** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:03 am

Brandybuck wrote:Personally I wouldn't want to go there, but if that's your bag then more power to you!

This isn't my bag, Brandybuck. This is an involuntary recall to active duty.

I have no choice: I'm going.

Post by **Famspear** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:21 am

Well, best wishes to you, Doktor. I hope the time flies by for you when you're over there!

Unidyne · Post by **Unidyne** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:26 am

I'm spinning my prayer wheels for you!

Nikki · Post by **Nikki** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:34 am

Doktor Avalanche wrote:
Brandybuck wrote:Personally I wouldn't want to go there, but if that's your bag then more power to you!
This isn't my bag, Brandybuck. This is an involuntary recall to active duty.

I have no choice: I'm going.

You did have a choice. You made the right one.

Stay warm, healthy, and sane.

Our thanks to you for your contribution.

Post by **webhick** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 5:16 am

Dr. A, do you think that you're going to come to love the feeling of hot sand rubbing up against your nether-region? If you do, I think my organization can arrange for that to happen frequently upon your safe return. If not, I'll send you over a woman made from old pool plaster so you can start learning to enjoy it.

Oh, I'll also be sending over daily deliveries of marital aides. Feel free to re-gift them to the guys you're serving with. It will make you very popular.

Also, since you're on loan to the army, you should review the 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army. And while you're down there, ask all the army guys if they know where to find Skippy. I think he'd make a great new bobble-head for my desk.

Doktor Avalanche · Post by **Doktor Avalanche** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 6:54 am

webhick wrote:Dr. A, do you think that you're going to come to love the feeling of hot sand rubbing up against your nether-region? If you do, I think my organization can arrange for that to happen frequently upon your safe return. If not, I'll send you over a woman made from old pool plaster so you can start learning to enjoy it.

Oh, I'll also be sending over daily deliveries of marital aides. Feel free to re-gift them to the guys you're serving with. It will make you very popular.

Also, since you're on loan to the army, you should review the 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army. And while you're down there, ask all the army guys if they know where to find Skippy. I think he'd make a great new bobble-head for my desk.

Webhick, I think I'm going to miss you most of all when I'm in country.

Yes, I've seen the 213 things list and yes, it's no joke, Furby really isn't allowed in classified spaces. That really is a DOD regulation.

Skippy is out of the Army now and has been for quite some time. While he was in he served with the 1st, 6th and 9th PSYOP Battalion. I believe he served in Bosnia.

Trippy · Post by **Trippy** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 1:33 pm

I do NOT envy you, Doktor. Stay safe and keep in touch .... and a heartfelt thank-you for your service.

Post by **Prof** » Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:55 pm

Doktor Avalanche wrote:
webhick wrote:Dr. A, do you think that you're going to come to love the feeling of hot sand rubbing up against your nether-region? If you do, I think my organization can arrange for that to happen frequently upon your safe return. If not, I'll send you over a woman made from old pool plaster so you can start learning to enjoy it.

Oh, I'll also be sending over daily deliveries of marital aides. Feel free to re-gift them to the guys you're serving with. It will make you very popular.

Also, since you're on loan to the army, you should review the 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army. And while you're down there, ask all the army guys if they know where to find Skippy. I think he'd make a great new bobble-head for my desk.
Webhick, I think I'm going to miss you most of all when I'm in country.

Yes, I've seen the 213 things list and yes, it's no joke, Furby really isn't allowed in classified spaces. That really is a DOD regulation.

Skippy is out of the Army now and has been for quite some time. While he was in he served with the 1st, 6th and 9th PSYOP Battalion. I believe he served in Bosnia.

From 1970-72, I was with the 2nd Gp, 13th Bn, PSYOP.

Quatloos!

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