Since the Brown camp has been without much entertainment as of late, I'm going to beat on Douglas a little. And it's a Wednesday, and the Illuminati hates Wednesdays.
Your request for more information is irrelevant.
It's always a good idea to start your letters with a heaping serving of arrogance. It lets the recipient know up front that you
think you know what you're talking about, but really don't. It's like watching a bad illusionist pull a contortionist out his ass.
All information needed to process my return has been provided.
Except the W-2. And your left nut. You might want to mark "fragile" on that last package.
1040 and 2 4852s;
According to the directions on the 4852, you should have attached the W-2s.* Are you unable to read and follow directions? Oh wait, you've submitted your higher brain functions to Hendrickson. Once he gets enough of those, I bet he's gonna make cookies with them. Mmmm... comprehension-chip cookies with evader nuts. They're my favorite. Evader nuts are really expensive this time of year. Far more plentiful during tax season.
proof of this is attached in the form of a certified mail recite.
Yeah, because sending them proof of sending them paperwork that they're not saying is missing is
so going to give them what they're requesting. By the way, how do I get my certified mail to recite stuff?
Form W-2 has bad payer data erroneously or ignorantly reported to the IRS;
Bad, payer! Bad! How dare you be erroneous
and ignorant at the same time! I hope the IRS writes the "payers" and lets them know that these wackos think they're engaging in erroneous and ignorant reporting. Ignorance is bliss, so they'll be really happy to know that their employees have caught on to how happy they really are.
I will not send you a form I know to be false.
Then why did you send them the 1040 and the 4852s? Or do you have a problem sending "a" false form, but no problem sending three false forms?
Forms 4852 where submitted to correct W-2 misinformation
Damn, I'm really craving cookies now.
Money I earned for this year was from the non-taxable exercise common right and not a taxable privilege
Awesome! Which non-taxable exercise? Was it tae bo or yoga? I didn't know that it was common do those right-handed. I mean, are there separate directions for lefties or something?
Neither I nor my wife has an “employer” as defined but the IRC, therefore we can’t be employees” Earning “wages”.
So, if these companies that paid you and your wife aren't employers...what are they? Marshmallows? I know they must be sugary sweet to put up with you.
Money I earned for this year was from the non-taxable exercise common right and not a taxable privilege,
I'm dying here. Is it a Richard Simmons video? Did you learn it at Bally's? Is there some crazy diet that goes with it? Do you gargle snake spit on Friday nights before jumping on the back of a mo-ped and snorting "Meow" to everyone you drive past? No, really...do you?
the testimony I have signed from my first hand knowledge is legal, accurate, true and complete.
First of all, I seriously doubt you know which hand came out first when you were born. Secondly, hands don't have knowledge. Unless you're Ash in the Evil Dead series. That hand not only had knowledge, it had an agenda. OH! And Thing! How could I forget Thing?! Thing was a little crazy. Does anyone remember that time he got totally wasted on
No-Crack and just ran around town flipping everyone off and running out in front of traffic to see if he could cause an accident? That alone makes me want to see a fight to the death between Thing and Ash's evil hand because Thing totally proved that no matter how many fingers get mangled, he'll always be willing and able to kick the crap out of anyone that looks at him funny.
Well, in any event, "knowledge" can't sign anything. An appendage needs to do that. Hands, feet, and in a pinch a mouth (even though it's not an appendage). Of course, don't forget the tools in the midsection. But you wouldn't want to touch the pen after that. Seriously, just throw it out in a little bio-hazard container.
If the dog ate my 2 copies of the form 4852s please write back requesting addition copies.
How would they know if your puppy ate your tax return? Did the puppy get the certified mail to recite directions to the local IRS office, show up there and hock your tax return with attachments all over some poor guy's desk and then the IRS employee dissected the gooey glob of leftover tree enough to find the numbers "1040" and two "4852"s, but not enough to see the "W-2"s you neglected to send per the directions?
But that doesn't matter, because they're requesting copies of the W-2, not the 4852s. You won't understand this because Hendrickson is baking cookies.
* Figured I might include this for a laugh:
4852, Bottom of First Page wrote:Purpose of form. Form 4852 serves as a substitute for Forms W-2, W-2c, and 1099-R and is completed by taxpayers or their representatives when (a) their employer or payer does not give them a Form W-2 or Form 1099-R, or (b) when an employer or payer has issued an incorrect Form W-2 or Form 1099-R. Attach this form to your income tax return.
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie