ASEA - I see!

[fortinbras]

Does that money back guarantee mean that if Mama dies, the family gets back all the money spent on the Asea water???

[Gregg]

So someone comes on Yahoo! with real serious health concerns about a family member. They're looking for answers and ask:

My Mom has small cell lung cancer both lungs and throat lymph nodes how long does she have?

Is it even worth her going through the chemo and radiation she is doing well with the chemo but doesn't want the radiation. don't know what to do I am letting her make the choices but would just like some answers from people who have been through it... Thanks

Really sad. You can read the desperation in her voice.

So what does some scumbag ASEA rep post in reply?

Try ASEA, Look up http://www.teamasea.com/holisticservices. The product is astounding! Money back guarantee also from ASEA. Impressive results in just 3 days with someone with lung cancer. Can't say if she will recover but the results are impressive. Testimonies in one particular case of pancreatic Stage 4 cancer dropping to Stage 2 in a very short period of time.If you know anything about pancreatic cancer -no one comes back from it. Mind you ASEA the company cannot & won't promote it because of FDA Regulations. My personal goal is tell the whole world of this wonderful product.BELIEVE or NOT!! (All about Redox molecules -everyone needs them-find out how they go array! & Find out how to supply your body with them)
Source(s):

Un-friggin-believable.

Someone keep track of that asshat and if he ever gets a serious thingy that's going to kill him, make sure he gets all the saline he can drink, but not any real medicine.

[Doc Bunkum]

I am now a believer. Last year, at my Father’s funeral, my Aunt had given a bottle of this to my Mother in an effort to make her feel better. My Mom kept this bottle in her hand, & during the final viewing, a few drops sloshed out of the bottle & right into my Father’s casket. If I hadn’t seen it myself, I wouldn’t have believed it, but I saw his hand TWITCH! As you might guess, she dumped the ENTIRE bottle into the casket on my deceased Father. Well, the rest is history…HE is now the top distributor in our area-this stuff is for real.
Also, if your salt water aquarium were to run out water, you can dump your fortune-in-a-bottle into there & save the aquatic life too!!
We truly ARE winners!!

Mr Fitness says:October 9, 2010 at 8:36 pm

[LaVidaRoja]

I do not know which is a sadder comment on our society. That someone would write/post this type of twaddle, or that someone might read it and actually believe it.

Personally, I would put more re-vification belief in the properties of your Aunt Tilly's tomatoes she raises on the Sea of Tranquility

[littleroundman]

To be fair,

having read the comments on that particular blog, my reading of the "Mr Fitness" post was that it is one of a series of increasingly ridiculous posts poking fun at the obviously invented posts made by Asea MLMers.

It follows a post claiming taking Asea had "cured" A.I.D.S.

Berbert says:
October 9, 2010 at 12:32 am

Hey I took some ASEA after I developed AIDS. No more AIDS!

[Reply]

In another the poster claimed Asea had given the user x-ray vision and he was intending to make himself invisible by spraying himself all over

Rayman says:
September 30, 2010 at 11:31 am

This stuff is amazing. Right after I drink it, I get x-ray vision. No joke. I am convinced also that if I put it in a spray bottle and apply liberally to my body, that I can become invisible for a few minutes.
[Reply]

The jury is still out as to whether this poster is serious or simply joining in the fun:

Dr. Ahmad Reply:
September 24th, 2010 at 6:30 am

I am pleased to report the the Asea has cured my right leg that was previously longer than my left leg. This may not seem like a big deal but it is hard to find pants with 29 inch inseam on right and 26 inch inseam on left. Long live this miracle salt water. It is the best and I am a winner as well.
[Reply]

[Doc Bunkum]

You've got to love the latest post on that blog because it just goes to show how gullible the people selling that stuff really are.

While I was having a massage today, the therapist spent about half the time trying to sell me ASEA. She told me that it cures diabetes by blocking the urge for sugar. Science supports proper diet and exercise as a more effective way to manage this disease. She claimed it would restore hair color and reverse hair loss. She said it reduces high blood pressure. Again, proper diet and exercise is the key. She said it restore proper blood volume. Or, maybe drink more water instead.

She found out I am a triathlete and said I could improve my ironman time by more than an hour. She claimed that some nameless triathlete gained a 12% improvement on a recent iroman race when taken for the first time the day before the race.

I'd love to know who that masseuse is - I'd book an appointment just so I could engage her in a conversation about ASEA and all the wonderful things I've heard people say about it.

[fortinbras]

One of the ASEA peddling websites ....
http://www.waterwithaloha.com/
.... provides the prices for ASEA water: delivered to your door, 4x 32 oz bottles for $120.

That's $120 for one gallon of what may be tap water (or, maybe, rain water). And I thought that $7 for a gallon of regular unleaded was unreasonable. I could think of other beverages you could get for $120 a gallon that would make you feel even better.

[bmielke]

Doc, as I am sure you know Yahoo answers is the worst moderated place on earth. I have had answers deleted for being "Hate Speech" Because I answered a question about which is more "Hickish" Western PA or WV. My answer involved the difference between sleeping with cousins as opposed to sisters.

I have also seen people ask blatently illegal questions, like "Who do I make a pipe bomb" and even though I send fifty reports even going so far as to send a link to the ATF website the question remains up.

I rarely go around there anymore.

[Doc Bunkum]

A recent post from mlmblog:

Mammy Yokum says:
January 24, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I am marketing a complimentary product to go along with ASEA, and it will keep you alive and that is guaranteed. This is real. It has been tested since the beginning of time. The people who make this are in hiding. I will send anyone a free sample. ASEA will not give you a free sample. For a free sample leave your name and email.

What is this live giving product? It is called AIRWAVES. It is a special bottled OXYGEN and has been purified by splashing ASEA on it, then it is sealed in an airtight container. This Air, used before Egypt existed, was discovered in a dead sea scroll. Inhale it gently and slowly, and you will find your lungs cleaned and pink again. It also enhances the male organ.

Yes, A sucker is born every minute