Gregg wrote:The Observer wrote:I count my "draws" as victories,...
Another sign of intellectual dishonesty desperately looking for a winning argument.
"Draws" in tax court? Don't you have to go to sudden-death overtime?
With fully armored battle hamsters I think.
Webhick wrote the rule, I'm sure she would know.
It's in the manual under Win, Lose, or Draw - Special Anniversary Court Edition. For those without their secret imploder ring, MOST courts only allow you to pick one (as the word OR implies), but tax court is one of the exceptions. In tax court, you can pick two if and only if you can meet any three of the following requirements:
- You can prove that you once goosed a cow, pig, horse, lemur, elephant, bull and angry rhino at the same time. To do this, you must provide video evidence of you performing said maneuver to every American embassy in the world.
- You can count to three.
- You can prove that you have successfully decorated all of your internal organs with glitter. We have a special machine that can test for this, so once you've redecorated stop into HQ and we'll have you tested. Remember not to eat anything for 24 hours before the procedure - we found that the human body tends to evacuate all food and food byproduct during the zombification portion of the procedure and I'm not in the mood to dispatch an extra intern to get rid of the mess you made on your way out.
As I said, if you can prove any three of the above items, you can choose any two of the win, lose or draw choices. The requirements are listed in degree of difficulty, so I recommend you do them in order. If you manage to retain or regain consciousness in the sixty minutes following the final requirement, you may be permitted to choose two options from the win, lose, or draw choices. I must warn you though, "uggghhh" is not one of the choices and if you even so much as whisper it on the softest breeze it will invalidate the whole enchilada.
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie