What can I get you for Christmas, dear?

[Kestrel]

lol... Growing up in the Baltimore area I can remember when Bob Rivers was a DJ on 98Rock. A long time ago he had a whole Christmas album that included not only that song but "I am Santa Claus" (based on "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath), "The Restroom Door said Gentlemen" (based on "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen") and many other wonderful holiday greats. I used to have it on tape until I played it around my then 5 year old nephew who walked around the rest of the day going "I am Santa Claus" in the deepest voice he could manage and my tape mysteriously disappeared.

My kids still love "There's Something Stuck Up In The Chimney" and "There's Another Santa Claus." One of my favorites is the Mafia Don's letter to Santa demanding a payoff for encroachment in his territory.

That album and at least four other Bob Rivers Christmas albums are still selling on Amazon.

Twisted Christmas
More Twisted Christmas
White Trash Christmas
I Am Santa Claus
Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire

[Judge Roy Bean]

My favorite Bob River's bit:

(To the tune of Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland.)

Lacey things, the wife is missin'.
Didn't ask, for permission.
I'm wearing her clothes,
Her silk panty hose.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spagetti.
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night.
Walkin' 'round in womens underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Woah man! Lets wait untill the wife is out of town."

Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

Lacey things, missin'.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, her silk panty hose.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

[webhick]

I went into work this morning and it was all gone. No more Christmas music! Yay, Santa! Now fix the damned sign printer!