You find out who your family is fairly quickly when there's money involved.
My sincerest condolences to you as well and to tell you've I know exactly what you're going through as I've been down this road before.
My grandmother passed away in 2004 and left my sister and I an inheritance that my father (a man whom I haven't spoken to in 20 years) decided to sue us both for it.
We prevailed, but still...even his lawyer at one point asked him, "Why don't you want your kids to inherit?"
Death and the In-Laws.
-
Doktor Avalanche
- Asst Secretary, the Dept of Jesters
- Posts: 1767
- Joined: Thu May 03, 2007 10:20 pm
- Location: Yuba City, CA
Re: Death and the In-Laws.
The laissez-faire argument relies on the same tacit appeal to perfection as does communism. - George Soros
-
fortinbras
- Princeps Wooloosia
- Posts: 3144
- Joined: Sat May 24, 2008 4:50 pm
Re: Death and the In-Laws.
My sincere sympathies. If you want me to say Kaddish for him, please PM his name to me.
Capt. Kickback gave you good advice. Do not let the in-laws or other barracuda inside the house.
I realize that sifting through and sifting out your husband's stuff is a very painful task but learn from my experience, do not entrust it to simpletons. When my father died (two years after my mother's death) I trusted a dear friend to go through stuff, throw stuff out and give stuff to charity, etc., to thin out the stuff I had to do when I traveled cross-country to close the house and put it on the market; gone were an enormous trove of family & important documents, newsclippings about my parents and their parents, photo albums, highschool and college yearbooks, etc. My friend thought I wanted to keep only "useful" stuff like the old tools you could find in flea markets for a dollar. Very upsetting.
The insurance companies should have the latest (or last) instructions from your spouse about his policies and the beneficiaries. Make sure you have his last will (this may require finding the lawyer who wrote it ... or whoever took over his practice/files). It may even be helpful to find earlier wills even though they are no longer effective -- they might show that your spouse NEVER intended to leave stuff to your in-laws.
Change the locks on your doors; never know if the in-laws had copies of the keys. Keep the real valuables secure (or securely hidden); in-laws sometimes think they have a license to burgle.
Capt. Kickback gave you good advice. Do not let the in-laws or other barracuda inside the house.
I realize that sifting through and sifting out your husband's stuff is a very painful task but learn from my experience, do not entrust it to simpletons. When my father died (two years after my mother's death) I trusted a dear friend to go through stuff, throw stuff out and give stuff to charity, etc., to thin out the stuff I had to do when I traveled cross-country to close the house and put it on the market; gone were an enormous trove of family & important documents, newsclippings about my parents and their parents, photo albums, highschool and college yearbooks, etc. My friend thought I wanted to keep only "useful" stuff like the old tools you could find in flea markets for a dollar. Very upsetting.
The insurance companies should have the latest (or last) instructions from your spouse about his policies and the beneficiaries. Make sure you have his last will (this may require finding the lawyer who wrote it ... or whoever took over his practice/files). It may even be helpful to find earlier wills even though they are no longer effective -- they might show that your spouse NEVER intended to leave stuff to your in-laws.
Change the locks on your doors; never know if the in-laws had copies of the keys. Keep the real valuables secure (or securely hidden); in-laws sometimes think they have a license to burgle.