The Illuminati isn't real?????

[ashlynne39]

Disclaimer before I post this: Yes, I do read TMZ on occasion and I have to fess up to that in order to post this story:

Russell Simmons -- The Illuminati Doesn't Exist (I'm Rich, I Would Know)

Mega-rich, ultra-successful record producer Russell Simmons says there's ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY no such thing as the Illuminati ... which is EXACTLY what someone in the Illuminati would say!!!!

Simmons -- if that's even his real name -- is connected to a whole bunch of people rumored to be in the super-secret society that controls the world ... including Jay-Z, Beyonce, Kanye and Oprah.

So when we asked if he could confirm or deny one of the alleged members ... or even acknowledge the group's existence at all ... it's almost like he protested a little too much, saying "Are you kidding me? I'm a grown f*cking man!"

Translation -- YES!!!!

http://www.tmz.com/2013/02/07/russell-s ... s-diamond/

So good for Russell, keeping the secret pact and not revealing membership. I take issue with the idea that Beyonce, Jay-Z and Kanye are members though. Seriously? We can do better than that and I hope they weren't allowed to slide through the back door into membership. Oprah I can live with though so congrats to whoever nabbed her into the fold.

[fortinbras]

I have encountered, at a distance (such as shortwave radio/internet programs), guys who claim to have been in The Illuminati and are now spilling all the secrets (for a paying audience).
(1) None of these dozen or so seem to have met each other while in the Illuminati,
(2) Each and every one of them seems to be, how can I put it delicately, a LOSER! Undistinguished background, poor education, no discernible professional skills, etc. Makes me wonder how they were accepted into membership.
(3) None of them reveals (or seems to know) the address of the HQ of The Illuminati .... and I've always wanted to join so I could have a share in ruling the world.

[Burnaby49]

I have encountered, at a distance (such as shortwave radio/internet programs), guys who claim to have been in The Illuminati and are now spilling all the secrets (for a paying audience).
(1) None of these dozen or so seem to have met each other while in the Illuminati,
(2) Each and every one of them seems to be, how can I put it delicately, a LOSER! Undistinguished background, poor education, no discernible professional skills, etc. Makes me wonder how they were accepted into membership.
(3) None of them reveals (or seems to know) the address of the HQ of The Illuminati .... and I've always wanted to join so I could have a share in ruling the world.

Of course you know the Illuminati HQ address. It's Gregg's bunker.

[AndyK]

a whole bunch of people rumored to be in the super-secret society that controls the world ... including Jay-Z, Beyonce, Kanye and Oprah.

The folks in the Disinformation Office definitely deserved that last raise. If they keep up the good work, we might even release their family member hostages

[Kestrel]

Undistinguished background, poor education, no discernible professional skills, etc. Makes me wonder how they were accepted into membership.

They never were. They got lost in the overgrown sentient thornbush maze outside the Hall of Initiates. By the time they found a way out they were so cold, hungry and turned around that they immediately pledged themselves into the Itanimulli.

[Gregg]

I have encountered, at a distance (such as shortwave radio/internet programs), guys who claim to have been in The Illuminati and are now spilling all the secrets (for a paying audience).
(1) None of these dozen or so seem to have met each other while in the Illuminati,
(2) Each and every one of them seems to be, how can I put it delicately, a LOSER! Undistinguished background, poor education, no discernible professional skills, etc. Makes me wonder how they were accepted into membership.
(3) None of them reveals (or seems to know) the address of the HQ of The Illuminati .... and I've always wanted to join so I could have a share in ruling the world.

Of course you know the Illuminati HQ address. It's Gregg's bunker.

That's a tactical facility, HQ is in Argillite, Kentucky. If you know Webhick's facebook page, you can see a picture.

[Burnaby49]

I did a StreetView walk-through of Argillite, didn't take long. You're well camouflaged. Is it in the Lay's Potato Chip truck? Or is it the back room of the gas station?

[Deep Knight]

You don't even begin to understand the layers of deceit and nontruthiness used by us Illuminati to hide in plain view. For example, all these crazy conspiracy theories that blame the Illuminati? Ours. We crank 'em out 24/7 on chatrooms and toilet stall walls all over the cyberverse to make people who believe in secret societies look like nutcases. Then, hidden but in the open, we control every aspect of everyone's lives and no one who can type without their CAPS LOCK on is the wiser. Quite simple really, it's the same basic method we used to cover up the end of the world on December 21 of last year.

As for Gregg's bunker, you have to remember his rank and look for a penthouse installation instead of one of those dreary underground ones.

[notorial dissent]

Well, isn't that what the Special Disinformation unit is supposed to be for, I didn't think they'd funded that whole big group JUST to give your brother-in-law paying employment. Unless of course they are providing disinformation to the upper echelons, and that could be bad for someone!!!

[Deep Knight]

Well, isn't that what the Special Disinformation unit is supposed to be for, I didn't think they'd funded that whole big group JUST to give your brother-in-law paying employment. Unless of course they are providing disinformation to the upper echelons, and that could be bad for someone!!!

Don't get me started about my wife's otherwise-unemployable family. But as for disinformation, we would have a better time of it if we didn't have to follow all these occult "rules" you hear about on the internet. You know, the ones that require you reveal your deathly plans in Batman movies and Superbowl ads beforehand. Not like the good ol' days before all these liberals and their government regulations. As for the reports and reviews all the departments give upper-level management, of course it's all made up! What do you think our marketing guys spent 4 years in business school for?

[notorial dissent]

Now you know as well as I do that those rules are put out there to confuse the wannabes by the Special Projects Dept. As for the reports, you know as well as I do that the sales dept is allowed a certain amount of latitude, since they are where we get the recruits we send as interns for Webhick, among other things, so they're allowed a certain amount of flexibility.

[Judge Roy Bean]

But with this stunning revelation are we willing to admit membership has no privilege????

Oh, the pain should it be so!

[notorial dissent]

What and waste all of the SDU's hard, well sort of, work, remember, Deep doesn't want his brother-in-law coming to live with him, besides that's just for public consumption anyway, we keep the real goodies to ourselves, that's why it's called a "secret" society.

[Deep Knight]

... if we didn't have to follow all these occult "rules" you hear about on the internet. You know, the ones that require you reveal your deathly plans in Batman movies and Superbowl ads beforehand. Not like the good ol' days before all these liberals and their government regulations.

I was just listening to Alex Jones on the radio talking about this very issue. When the caller objected, saying that the bad guys revealing themselves by obscure means first didn't make any sense, Jones responded by saying it was a "Metaphysical Law" twice and going to commercial.

[notorial dissent]

Of course it is. I think Jones and McHalfwit have been sharing the same bottle lately.

[Gregg]

I did a StreetView walk-through of Argillite, didn't take long. You're well camouflaged. Is it in the Lay's Potato Chip truck? Or is it the back room of the gas station?

If you really did, you of course noticed that the entire town of Argillite consists of 2 gas station/C-Stores... like you'd find in many out of the way little intersections. And Argillite has only 1 intersection. The two stores are ALMOST exactly the same, but one has Pizza, the other Broaster Chicken. You cannot make this stuff up.

[JamesVincent]

I did a StreetView walk-through of Argillite, didn't take long. You're well camouflaged. Is it in the Lay's Potato Chip truck? Or is it the back room of the gas station?

If you really did, you of course noticed that the entire town of Argillite consists of 2 gas station/C-Stores... like you'd find in many out of the way little intersections. And Argillite has only 1 intersection. The two stores are ALMOST exactly the same, but one has Pizza, the other Broaster Chicken. You cannot make this stuff up.

The town of Plummers Landing, Ky, where my mother and uncle live, consists of Watson's Country Store and Gas, 3 sawmills, one of which is my uncles, and Fox Valley Church and a few houses. The town of Oomps, Wv, which is where I grew up, consisted of a gas station, 4 houses, one of which was my grandmothers and another was my cousins, the motel that was owned by my aunt and uncle, and Mr. Oomps farm, which is who the town was named after.

[Gregg]

Compared to Argillite that sounds like Manhattan.

[Pottapaug1938]

I've seen a few towns in Vermont and Maine where "downtown" consists of a general store/gas station/post office/town hall, a school (sometimes the Town Hall is a part of this rather than another building), a house or two and possibly a church.

[Prof]

Since I did not grow up in a town, did not attend church in town, and did not attend primary or secondary school in a town, I view all of you "city folk." (I did not live in a town until I left for college, and those of you familiar with Clemson circa '65 would probably suggest that I did not attend college in much of a town.)