Let's Help Out Erasmus of America

[Deep Knight]

ALERT: Namaste Website Under Attack

By: namaste
Date: Saturday, 16-Mar-2013 18:17:54 ALERT
At the time of writing our website namastepublishing is under severe attack by hackers.
'They' do not want 'The People' to read a very important article, as such are trying to inject our website with a malicious injection. The web page that is presently under attack is:
“HUGE Opportunity for the People to Bash the Government/Banksters’ Austerity Tax!”
Please NETWORK the above article and this ALERT. Thank you.
These attacks are costing someone a lot of money. They will not deter us from posting material that exposes the remorseless deceit, manipulation and attempts to destroy humanity. These are the actions of world psychopathic controllers.

Posted by John MacHaffie at 11:54 AM 0 comments

I always get a real kick out of these folks who lecture others on "personal responsibility" and "accountability" but whenever they do something wrong or find a bug it's someone hacking their webiste. I don't know about you, but when working with computers this is par for the course. Of course, I'm not posting some article urging people to get a class action suit against taxes in Ireland...

[Deep Knight]

Just when you think it can't get crazier, Rassy pulls one out of his butt. Edited, but I left in all the good stuff, esepcially the comments!

Monday, April 8, 2013
A MESSAGE TO RUSSIA FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE BY ERASMUS OF AMERICA - APRIL 8, 2013

This is not the hour to allow events to get ouf of hand. I spent eleven calendar years in military academies. My mother was once rated by I.Q. test to be the most brilliant child in American history up to her time. She was a child actress, had no time for formal education, self-educated herself after learning how to read and write from her grandmother, and then successfully entered a state university without prior formal education education after passing their entrance exams. My own I.Q. had been officially scored many years ago in Wash., D.C. to be they claimed "beyond scientific measurement" and one of the two highest they said ever tested in Wash., D.C. So let's not pretend that I am stupid … This bluffed you out of almost certain victory over America if you had carried out your plans then against America. "Comrade Girty" had penetrated White House security and you knew the secret military plans of America which made you confident that you could defeat American then. As your Comrade Girty later explained to an F.B.I. informant who had tricked him into thinking that he was a fellow Communist spy, Moscow had won the Cold War and would take over the entire world as soon as their final moves to the plan were carried out. I unhinged their plans and saved America from almost certain defeat … I know that in Russian intelligence you have the brains to respect brains when in the leader who could face you in a future war. Enough said here.
… Your top secret code name for the defeat and annihilation of America was called "The Ring Of Steel" and I know why you called it that name. I know of the secret deal you made with Fidel Castro which the Pentagon never found out about. As Wash., D.C. is rather reptile in moral character, I with worldly wisdom did not tell Wash., D.C. everything I knew about Russian plans for the nuclear annihilation of America if ever World War III came. As my knowledge decided if America lived or died as a nation if war ever came with Russia and key intelligence sources knew I had not told everything I knew, this was a bit of an insurance policy that I was not wanted murdered by key intelligence sources. … I would play along with their game knowing in advance that they would deny all my information if a firestorm came along afterwards. This is how world events are altered. We all know how the game is played in intelligence work!
Now that I have identified myself to intelligence in Moscow, I was not murdered by Wash., D.C. as you thought I likely was. And when you came in for the kill to defeat and annihilate America in 1990, the F.B.I. came to me and very respectfully and asked for my help. Wash., D.C. had fallen for your sucker trap and I was almost amused that you copied and used my tactics I had used against you against Wash. intelligence which I never told them my tricks in military intelligence. Wash., D.C. fell for your con hook, line, and sinker then. But I knew how to counter your strategy as I separately had already obtained your secret war plans how to defeat and annihilate America then. I gave Wash., D.C. the information it needed for survival and so World War III was cancelled again by Moscow! But I did not tell Wash., D.C. all I knew as they are a reptile government in morals and my life expectancy is increased by making myself too valuable for them to want to murder this round even though I tell the American people the truth which Wash., D.C. absolutely does not want the American people to hear.
… I understand that Russian soldiers have been smuggled into America with help of Obama. I suggest that you promptly start smuggling them back out of America. If any incidents with smuggled in Russian soldiers occur in America, I call upon the U.S. military to promptly move in to arrest Obama and anyone with him for high treason against America. … I am a ruthless son-of-a-bitch when the chips are down in miliary matters. I will as soon as possessing military authority give coded message to essential nuclear sites how to construct Soviet-era Doomsday Bombs. All that is needed is one and Russia is annihilated as a nation. If any Russian soldiers smuggled into America remain when this happens, I will demand the unconditional military surrender of Russia or else Russia will be annihilated. All Russian soldiers then who were smuggled into America will immediately surrender to the American military forces and organized civilian militias and state national guards. Whoever does not surrender and promptly then will be executed once captured. I have more surprises for Moscow also, but will not be shown at this time in this report to be sent out nationally and worldwide. Whoever cooperated with Obama in this plot of high treason to sell out America forever as a people and nation will alll be arrested, tried, and then executed if found guilty by trial by jury.
I learned how to make Soviet-era Doomsday Bombs from this defector from the Moscow Institute For Nuclear Studies. Don't back Obama and you get out of a very hot military situation. I do descend from a minor branch of the royal line of Russia and do not want to do this to Russia. But my code of honor dictates I defend America as I am an American and woe unto Russia if this message is not taken seriously or you miscalculate. I will order the annihilation of Russia if the only way to save America, but I don't want to do this. Let me be merciful and let this situation calm down and let both America and Russia learn to live in peace with one another.
As for the American people, I am not interested in being your national dictator. I want promptly passed my proposed Omni Law. This puts the final powers of government intohe hands of the people, not in the hands of Obama or other schemers for power in Wash., D.C.
In case things get out of hand which hopefully will not happen, I will give assistance for the survival of the American people in technology if needed. Get it now as websites, etc. likely will be down if war or an attempted military takeover of America by Obama is tried. Order $25.00 NIfI certificates from my national website and use them for the following. … $25.00 for a way to make a gasoline from your backyard if you have coal. This uses an old coal process which can be set up from your backyard or neighbors can join you and set up a community site where you make your local gasoline from coal. …
If I do not receive fresh information that the planned military takeover of America is now firmly cancelled, then I will later release information on how to fight armed vehicles, shoot down drones, and other tactics that will be needed by the American people if Obama continues to plot for a military takeover of America. Of course he will deny this but he is the smoothest liar I have ever seen in the White House or in Wash., D.C. I am definitely not interested in holding this military regent position but very briefly. …
Yours For God And Country, Erasmus Of America (pen name for the one that Israel offered the rank of Colonel to years ago if he would join with the Israeli Army then. The Jews are smart. They respect brains when they find it.! That is the key to power for any smart race on earth!)

Posted by John MacHaffie at 10:41 AM

4 comments:

Anonymous April 8, 2013 at 11:23 AM
This character does not resonate with me at all. You don't spend three paragraphs describing how great you are when you want to make a point, that's nonsense. You also don't make public letters sent to "secret intelligence organizations". If he's so knowledgeable, he'd just send the letter to their CEO.
His website has been under construction for over a year and he has two posts on it. It is also powered by Wordpress, so apparently he can't afford to hire a webmaster to make it good. He's selling nutritional supplements, cosmetics and DVDs there. His book is for sale but it has no description at all? He sells "certificates" for 25$ each, but he only has three products? He assumes that you want to buy up to 40 of these certificates at once? He has membership fees, of 10$ and 20$, but doesn't describe what they do?

Anonymous April 8, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Do ever get the feeling these guys like fulford and co are just really good creative writers ?? I hve been following theses blogs for a couple of years now and it's the same big build up and gentle let down every time

Erasmus of America April 8, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Is This Person Really As Dumb As He Indicates? If he is as dumb as he indicates, maybe make him head of kindergarten intelligence, but certainly nothing more important than that! This is the most amateur, naive, gullible conception of how intelligence works I have ever heard in my life unless this is all an act on his part. His statements show that he has no loyalty to America nor the American people. Maybe he is working for Russian intelligence or else Obama intelligence. They are both loyal to the overthrow of the American people and America as a nation. If he headed up any intelligence operation, the other side would be sure to win the battles or the war itself. The greatest ally any enemy has is a colossally dumb person on your side who opens his mouth and shows how dumb he really is. He gives the impression all your people must be morons if they remain silent like they approve his stupidity to represent their stupidity in important national issues.
I am a strong enemy of North Korea while they harbor plans of great evil against America. However, just because I strongly oppose the nuclear and missile program of North Korea does not make me naive about tricks of C.I.A. in this situation. A few years back I stumbled upon a C.I.A. operation where they were trying to coach Islamic terrorist organizations how to nuclear attack America with nuclear suitcase bombs. And if the Islamic terrorist groups would not do it, then C.I.A. would use a nuclear suitcase bomb to stage the nuclear attack upon America and then blame the Islamic terrorists for it. They stopped this C.I.A. operation when I informed them that two top scientific sources said this type nuclear attack would likely annihilate North America if tried. Even for them, they knew that they had gone too far for C.I.A. Probably the Illuminati cabal is going to try and detonate a nuclear bomb in California to set up an earthquake to create the crisis for seizing national power.
Due to space limitations, I can say no more here. Yours For God And Country, Erasmus Of America

Anonymous April 8, 2013 at 2:46 PM
you may have all the knowledge you claim but you show 0 wisdom!
tar

[Burnaby49]

"Due to space limitations, I can say no more here. Yours For God And Country, Erasmus Of America"

Space limitations in an internet posting? Using up too many scarce pixels?

[Pottapaug1938]

"Due to space limitations, I can say no more here. Yours For God And Country, Erasmus Of America"

Space limitations in an internet posting? Using up too many scarce pixels?

Translation: "I need some more time to make up another huge fable."

[AndyK]

"Due to space limitations, I can say no more here. Yours For God And Country, Erasmus Of America"

Space limitations in an internet posting? Using up too many scarce pixels?

Translation: "I need some more time to wipe the drool off the keyboard."

Fixed it

[notorial dissent]

Anonymous April 8, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Do ever get the feeling these guys like fulford and co are just really good creative writers ?? I hve been following theses blogs for a couple of years now and it's the same big build up and gentle let down every time

Wowl, a clueless Anon at McHalfwit's almost gets it, until he gets to the "good creative writers", which neither gassy or Fulmination are.

[ashlynne39]

DO, crazy rassy is on the post again. His latest is full of nonsense about you hiring prison gangs to get him and how the secret service is out to get you and all of us because you pretended to be rassy and threatened Obama. Funny tho, I seem to remember rassy talking about boiling oil and the president. There's more but it's too much crazy to post. post I will leave that to you.

[Deep Knight]

DO, crazy rassy is on the post again. His latest is full of nonsense about you hiring prison gangs to get him and how the secret service is out to get you and all of us because you pretended to be rassy and threatened Obama. Funny tho, I seem to remember rassy talking about boiling oil and the president. There's more but it's too much crazy to post. post I will leave that to you.

Gassy Rassy has 3 posts, dated within minutes of each other (can that boy type fast or what?).

Wednesday, April 10, 2013
THE AMERICAN ECONOMY CAN START BOOMING IF THIS PART OF THE U.S. CONSTITUTION IS AGAIN OBEYED AND ENFORCED FROM ERASMUS OF AMERICA - APRIL 10, 2013
...
The Illuminati loves Satan, hates Jesus Christ, and wants to make "Lucifer" their "god" of the world. These boys are crazy as all hell, but intensely wealthy, hire political gangsters like "deepknight" who made the mistake of catching my attention, then his group, and here were found a little hidden nest of Illuminati reptiles have boasted over their website and we copied them how the Illuminati controls Wash., D.C. so "deepknight" cannot be arrested for murder threats against me in the name of Obama over the internet. This is because the Illuminati controls the U.S. Justice Dept. under Eric Holder and the whole U.S. Justice Dept. is bought off as well as other key federal agencies. By now Eric Holder is in super hot water legally. By legally stonewalling so "Deepknight" will not be arrested for documented federal murder threats against me in the name of Obama to try and shut me up. I make the Illuminati very unhappy in Wash., D.C. by exposing their operations in Wash., D.C., across America and worldwide. And by stonewalling when "deepknight" keeps on adding more felony charges to his chart, Eric Holder personally can be criminally sentenced on enough federal felony charges now to put him away for several lifetimes in federal prison, not just one lifetime! "Deepknight" without you being the one they are trying to cover for, Eric Holder would not now be facing up to several lifetimes in federal prison if I push all the legal charges now! By covering too long when "Deepknight" threatened murder in the name of Obama, now it is becoming almost certain that Eric Holder is trying to keep Obama from being legally investigated and removed from the White House for federal murder threats and other federal felonies committed in his name and to carry out his secret criminal policies for America in violation of real law.
...
I have received repeated murder theats from the Illuminati group headed by the one who calls himself "Deep Knight." Why as he not been arrested yet by the U.S. Justice Dept. for his repeated murder threats over the internet from him and associates of his appearing on his website or websites that he acts as moderator of? The murder threats are public record and recorded by us from the internet. And his latest wild and insane stunt apparently protected by the U.S. Justice Dept. which he and Illuminati associates claims is controlled by the Illuminati, he did a slop job but had a letter sent from Denver, Colorado on March 26, 2013 with my name plastered all over the outside of the envelope which no one on earth is dumb enough to do whether genius or total moron when threatening the President of America with murder. This letter typset from a computer in Denver, Colorado was shown to me by the Secret Service which they knew that I had not sent, but wanted to know if I knew who would pull such a wild stunt. I identified for them Deep Knight and his Illuminati group, how to locate them, and mentioned that after the first murder threats from him, two of us checked him out and found him associated with an Islamic terrorist group plotting the overthrow of an ally Arab government in the Middle East. Also, this same school of revolution he was connected with may be teaching Muslims in America how to set up a revolution in America and overthrow the present government in Wash., D.C. He never knew we would check him out like this! Even the Secret Service thought it was a crazy claim when he said that he was a Colonel in the Illuminati Air Force. But he and his Illuminati associates are protected by apparent Illuminati sources in Wash., D.C. or else they would be arrested already for threatening Obama with murder in the White House!
...
Posted by John MacHaffie at 3:14 PM

How did he know I was a Colonel in the Illuminati Air Force?

Wednesday, April 10, 2013
ENERGY INDEPENDENCE FOR AMERICA CAN MAKE US ALL RICH! FROM ERASMUS OF AMERICA - APRIL 9, 2013
...
As for "Deep Knight" and associates, their days of laughter will crash before them when I deliver $100 billion damage suits against them and to their shock, they will know that I am going to win, not them! I lay my traps well by pretending to be the dumb hick until my legal ambush is totally ready to be sprung on those who wish to fight me. As one powerful Baltimore, MD attorney once said to me after I sprung my legal ambush on him, he never wanted to tackle me again in law. He wanted peace with me at all costs! And Deep Knight and fellow Illuminati associates boasted that they had the state attorney generals in their hip pocket so I could not get Illuminati controlled state attorney generals across America to ever act against Deep Knight and fellow Illuminati associates. When I have national grand juries convened against those who try to serve the Illuminati instead of uphold the U.S. Constitution and U.S. Bill of Rights, they will feel sick in that day as they will know that they have destroyed the future of their life inAmerica by picking a legal fight with me. I will win! When I discussed with one associate how we can get Deep Knight to tell all he knows about the Illuminati and his Illuminati associates, my associate says that he will spill his guts out as I figured out what he colossally fears in life and know his weak point in character.

[Darn, he knows a weak point in my character? Could it be I think with my, you know, and not my brain? He must be sure of himself, he's already spending the money.]

So folks, figure that you will collect on what I offer to you from the $100 billion federal settlement I intend to collect despite all the wishful thinking in federal circles that I can't win. The British have won their wars for 1,000 years by defeating their enemies through their weaknesses, not their strengths. The British have been smart in this! I also understand how to do this the right way! So folks, for every order placed with me now through the website or by mail to my commercial postal address, I assign $10,000 bonus money to thank for your support until $80 million is used up. Then 15 people picked by taking their names out of our pool of customers will each receive $15 million. And for John of Nesara News, I assign $5 million when I collect the big settlement from Wash., D.C. as I believe that great patriots of America should be rewarded for their dedication to America as a nation and for standing up for the American people against their enemies in America and abroad.
...
Posted by John MacHaffie at 3:15 PM

Wednesday, April 10, 2013
THE NEW WELFARE MAP.............From Dan Fink Forwarded By Erasmus Of America
...
That is why through alias names they constantly tell you not to financially back me and this movement. If I have the finances, they know I will win nationally and America be liberated from our secret masters who call themselves "The Illuminati" which is a group of totally insane Satanists, but very rich as they have no morals or ethics how they produce huge money at your expense time and time again by control of your governments instead of you the American people. By the way, their own statements say they want to hire some ex-gangsters from prison to murder me once they can. They are still openly threatening me with murder and the U.S. Justice Dept. refuses to arrest them for murder threats they are By the way, their Deep Knight screwed up again. He tried to impersonate me, issued murder threats against Obama in the White House, the evidence led to Deep Knight, not me, and so the U.S. Secret Service is supposed to arrest him and all accomplices with him on his websites. If they don't arrest him for officially threatening with bloody murder "President" Obama at the White House, then that is the final legal proof for all Americans to understand that the Illuminati runs Washington, D.C. and the White House, not the American people. Send this all over America and let's kick the traitors out of public office and put honest leaders into office to replace them. Legal evidence that has just emerged indicates they want to detonate a nuclear bomb in California to trigger off an earthquake...
...
Posted by John MacHaffie at 3:20 PM

An Open Letter to the Secret Service

If you really talked to Erasmus of America I hope you visited this website. Talking to him no doubt left you with a headache and you probably needed a laugh.

As another organization that's been identified by Gassy Rassy as part of the Illuminati, Welcome! I would give you the secret handshake, but don't know how to do it online. Then again, I have this sneaking suspicion that you're not real. No offense, but Erasmus has this hard time distinguishing reality from fantasy, and you're likely a figment of his imagination.

But if you're not, I suggest reading some of his stuff from last year, apparently scrubbed from MacHaffie's site (or expired, it's been 6 months) but was captured here on another thread, titled appropriately enough "Erasmsus of America" where on page 10 I detail Erasmus' imagined "threats" (link viewtopic.php?f=6&t=8629&start=180 ) and also documented by the fine folks at Fogbow at http://www.thefogbow.com/forum/viewtopi ... =55&t=8222

Have fun.

P.S. If somebody really did "help" Erasmus by forwarding his garbage like he asked, please note that I encouraged this to make him pee his pants, not waste the valuable time of law enforcement. Not that your time is valuable because you're imaginary, but you know what I mean.

[wserra]

pretending to be the dumb hick

That is the one thing he's good at.

[wserra]

I would give you the secret handshake, but don't know how to do it online.

Try this:

[notorial dissent]

Native talent.

[The Observer]

Well, the Fogbow link above creates some more questions about Erasmus' identity. Their link to a mugshot of the purported Erasmus (aka Wade Timothy Garner) states that Garner was 41 years old in 2007.

However, Erasumus is also identified as being a Martin Hunter, per DK earlier, and being 67 years old.

So there is definitely a disconnect here in terms of who Erasmus really is. It is certain that he cannot be both of these individuals.

[Deep Knight]

This is what I could get for free on the internet. Who knows how they got or estimated Rassy's age or other information.

Rassy sez that Reverend Tim is "just a friend," and one would assume that it wasn't an alias because they've both been arrested under "Martin Hunter" and "Timothy Wade Garner" so who knows? One suspects Rassy isn't sure what his name is when he wakes up most mornings.

I think I know what this is all about. Last fall I made noise at the start of this particular thread that we should send copies of Gassy Rassy's writings to the people they were addressed to in order to get him in trouble. Some example are his "open letters" to the FBI and justice department demanding people be arrested and money paid to him "or else." He had been called about this on MacHaffie's site (who knew any of his readers had sense?) and said that the all read his site along with millions of others, so he didn't have to send it, they already knew. After this, for about 3 months, Rassy was "tamed" and no longer made threats or said he was going revive the CSA anymore, but when he did post when on and on about religion and this book he was writing.

I figured my call to send things to the local police and such got him paranoid and stopped the garbage. But then, when nothing happened, he got bold again and jumped back on the "arrest Deep Knight" train. So I did it again, just to pull his chain.

Erasmus of America doesn't like his chain pulled, so he thought he would do the same to me. No doubt he doesn't understand how silly this all sounds, and would to anyone in the Secret Service, FBI, or Confererate Supreme Court. Well, maybe not the court, but then again it's led by someone who died 100 years ago so I don't sit up awake nights worrying about it.

So Rassy, er, Julius Caesar, if you're reading this, please, please, please call the Secret Service or FBI, preferably from the phone in your house for best service, and tell them everything. Be sure to mention the billions of dollars they owe you. Also, I find that public servants give the best service to people who threaten them, like you've been doing in your writings, 'cause it keeps 'em on their toes and honest, so I know it will work out for you if you just stand firm. Good luck!

[Cathulhu]

You have a point about public servants. True story, name redacted to her initials: took place on the IRS toll-free hotline.

Angry caller: Well, you better send me my refund now! I pay your salary!

L.B.: You do? Hey, everybody, it's him! The one who pays our salaries! Can I have a raise?

A.C. Don't get smart with me, bitch!

L.B. Sir, on the very, very, best day of your life, you will never come close to paying my salary. Click. Dial tone.

L.B. was pretty conscientious, and generally handled things very kindly to most. But the official policy on the hotline is that assistors don't have to take abuse, and once they use foul language, hanging up is allowed.

[LaVidaRoja]

Back in the last century, when I was a tax auditor, I had a friend use that same --"How about a raise?" line on an obnoxious audit subject. IIRC, generally speaking the people who used that kind of line didn't pay enough in taxes to have paid one month of an auditor's salary (and I'm talking about so long ago that a 9 step 10 barely cleared $30K)

[Deep Knight]

Imagine the irony of some tax protester, being contacted because he hasn't been paying taxes but instead sends in OPPT courtesy notices or whatever, gets mad at the IRS for not doing what he demands and saying "I pay your salary." Not that I know that this has happened, but I would be willing to bet on it...

What has been happening, at least in the Birther community, are threats of arrest or lawsuits etc. towards people who make fun of them. Orly has gone so far as to add them to the laundry list of defendants in some of her filings. Rassy gets into this a bit with his "he mocked my writings which means that people will die from not eating my father's Vatican-approved bread, so he's guilty of International genocide"

[Gregg]

How did he know I was a Colonel in the Illuminati Air Force?

As Supreme Commander of the Royal Illuminati Air Force, I can confirm that you are. And since that makes me your boss, can I get some threats too? I haven't felt so left out since I didn't make Nixon's "enemies list".

[Deep Knight]

How did he know I was a Colonel in the Illuminati Air Force?

As Supreme Commander of the Royal Illuminati Air Force, I can confirm that you are. And since that makes me your boss, can I get some threats too? I haven't felt so left out since I didn't make Nixon's "enemies list".

Either straighten up and fly right, or we'll send the Secret Service to check you out too (seriously, the way you flew that Aurora Stealth Plane in that dogfight was embarrassing, I don't care if the chemtrail modifications reduce performance, you gotta put in more hours in the air instead of behind a desk).

[The Observer]

Imagine the irony of some tax protester, being contacted because he hasn't been paying taxes but instead sends in OPPT courtesy notices or whatever, gets mad at the IRS for not doing what he demands and saying "I pay your salary."

To which the proper answer would be, "Yes, I get paid to do what I am exactly doing now - addressing your non-payment of taxes. But since you are not paying taxes, I guess that means you are not paying my salary."

[Deep Knight]

My apologies for not getting this transcribed sooner, but as you might imagine we have bugs all over Erasmus of America’s house and yard and captured the conversation between two Secret Service agents and Gassy Rassy on Wednesday. Unfortunately, the fastest mail service from his area of South Carolina relies on mules, and even overnight service is a bit slow. From the hollowed-out garden gnome on his front porch.

Erasmus of America: Hello?
Secret Service #1: Mr. Martin Hunter?
EoA: Maybe, it depends on what you want.
Secret Service #2: Are you Mr. Martin Hunter who also goes by the name Erasmus of America?
EoA: Do you want to buy my book?
SS1: We want to talk with you about threats against the government.
FoA: If this is about slowly dropping Obama into a vat of boiling acid, I didn’t write that, Deep Knight did!
SS1: Huh?
EoA: He cell phone hacked my computer and changed it while I was writing it! I don’t even have a vat of boiling acid in my house! I’m completely innocent!
SS2: The letter we want to talk with you about is dated March 26 and titled “Federal government murdered Dr. David M. Garst to block him from releasing DVD movie exposing federal scandals of high treason from Erasmus of America.”
EoA: Let me see that!
SS1: Did you write this sir?
EoA: Well, I wrote it but I didn’t write it. Besides, it was the FBI who murdered Dr. Garst, I have the evidence ready to go to the Grand Jury. You boys in the Secret Service have clean hands on this one.
SS1: Actually sir, we work for the FBI, but got called out because there’s no Secret Service offices nearby.
EoA: Did I say the FBI, I meant to say the CIA! Deep Knight changed my words while I was speaking them, he’s got CIA programs to help him hack my brain!
SS2: I used to work for the CIA.
EoA: I never said CIA, Deep Knight is messing with me again! Why don’t you arrest and execute him!
SS1: Who exactly is this person you’re talking about? Is he the one you say killed this Dr. Garst?
EoA: Probably! He’s a high level Illuminati who’s a colonel in their Air Force and trains Islamic terrorists!
SS1: Illuminati Air Force?
EoA: That’s right, they call themselves Quatloos but it’s commie code speech for brotherhood of Satan.
SS2: Sir, you made several threats to the government, saying you would execute the president for genocide.
EoA: He won’t require that everyone eat my father’s Vatican approved bread! But of course, I never wrote that.
SS1: Sir, we looked you up on the internet, and this seems to be your writing. Especially the part about your high IQ.
EoA: Too high to be measured scientifically! But I didn’t do it, Deep Knight did it! He wrote them all! Especially the one about killing the president. He also is working with Obama to kill me! Last year I had a light bulb explode when I was as near as the other room!
SS2: So you’re saying you never wrote this? It’s got this “Erasmus” name and your PO Box on it.
EoA: Deep Knight uses my PO Box, sneaking in while I’m not there and taking my mail which is sent to him! He’s really sneaky.
SS1: I’m sorry sir, but you can’t send the president threats like this. If that’s what this is, ‘cause to be honest it doesn’t make any sense to me. You also can’t go around accusing the FBI of killing some guy in Virginia and then demanding we pay you $100 billion dollars or you’ll have the world court arrest us.
EoA: I never said that, Deep Knight did! In fact, he writes all my stuff, especially the frequent demands that he be arrested and executed! Why haven’t you done that yet? Don’t you know that PROVES that he works for you.
SS1: Well, whether you did it or not, don’t do it again. OK?
EoA: Jack booted government thugs!
SS2: What did you say, sir?
EoA: It wasn’t me, it was Deep Knight!

I hope this sheds a little light on exactly what went down. I, of course, am disappointed they didn’t shoot Erasmus of America right then and there for having garden gnomes, but that may not be a law in South Carolina (they’re a bit behind the times). Perhaps they were under the mistaken impression that he was batsh!t crazy and all of this ravings were simply delusions. Ain’t it clever how we can hide in the open using that ploy. Whatever the case, those are two agents who will soon find their careers cut short, after all there’s no excuse for not reading the “drone kill lists” Obama puts out on an hourly basis, and the last time I looked Erasmus had moved into the Top 40.