Spring Equinox Illuminati Celebration Plans?

[LightinDarkness]

Fellow Quatloosians,

As we have all been described variously as shills/members of the Dark Cabal by the Warriors for Truth that we often laugh at/discuss on these boards, I was wondering what your plans for the Spring Equinox were. As a Freemason we were scheduled to have a blood sacrifice and orgy afterwards (following a wine tasting), but I think that might get cancelled due to it being unusually cold this year (we hold all Illuminati rituals in a cave). What is your chapter of the Illuminati/The Dark Cabal/Powers That Be/New World Order going to do this year? And do you get time off from your shilling duties to do this?

[Pottapaug1938]

The Boston Chapter is starting off with a visit to the Harpoon Beer Hall, in South Boston, where my son (a candidate member) works. Then, it's off to our secret location where... well, you can imagine what comes next. You'd be wrong, because what actually will happen is SO much better.

[obadiah]

I am considering attending sunrise "services" at Stonehenge. Not that silly one in England but the true and complete one in Maryhill, Washington.

[Gregg]

Going to be at Illuminati World HQ in Argillite for "quilting"

http://m.dailyindependent.com/Independe ... e/hRgLmHWJ

(this is a real story and the lady in it is my Great Aunt)

[JennyD]

I was going to have a quiet "Grill a Neighbor" party at my home, that's the normal every year we find someone in the neighborhood that noone really likes and we grill them with some really yummy homemade bbq sauce and we serve them to the other neighbors as baby back ribs..

So far noone has caught on, and we hope that we can get rid of the really pesky person that spies on everyone this year..

[davids]

I was going to have a quiet "Grill a Neighbor" party at my home, that's the normal every year we find someone in the neighborhood that noone really likes and we grill them with some really yummy homemade bbq sauce and we serve them to the other neighbors as baby back ribs..

So far noone has caught on, and we hope that we can get rid of the really pesky person that spies on everyone this year..

Gives a whole new meaning to "baby back ribs."

[Deep Knight]

Illuminati shindigs and human sacrifice go together like bacon and eggs, except there's less cholesterol. I'm putting on the black robes, sharpening up my dagger, and getting ready for an evening of fun, games, and pools of blood.

[Pottapaug1938]

Illuminati shindigs and human sacrifice go together like bacon and eggs, except there's less cholesterol. I'm putting on the black robes, sharpening up my dagger, and getting ready for an evening of fun, games, and pools of blood.

How do you recruit the candidates for sacrifice -- perhaps, by advertising a seminar which, for a fee of $100, will show you a method of avoiding all income taxes by making yourself a "non-taxpayer"?

[Judge Roy Bean]

Despite our ability to control natural events, the crawfish season has been delayed, therefore any serious celebration will have to be delayed until our forces of darkness have defeated the forces of light and wrested control of the harvest.

No reputable celebration can be enjoyed without the appropriate harvest of crustaceans.

[Unidyne]

My local Unitarian-Universalist church has a Pagan group that will be holding a Vernal Equinox service. Their services are more like something from a Ren Faire than anything that Jack T. Chick writes about.

[Deep Knight]

How do you recruit the candidates for sacrifice -- perhaps, by advertising a seminar which, for a fee of $100, will show you a method of avoiding all income taxes by making yourself a "non-taxpayer"?

A large airliner goes mysteriously missing exactly 13 days before the Equinox, and you have to ask?

Just kidding. We advertise for people to be on a reality TV show where they will get humiliated and quite possibly killed. They not only show up in droves, but are willing to sign an iron-clad release that indemnifies us if they are harmed. Is this a great country or what?

[LaVidaRoja]

Not to mention the millions we raise by having them sign over to us ALL of their life insurance, as well as taking out a few more short-term policies.

[Deep Knight]

From "The Occult Holidays and Sabbats for Dummies."

The occult calendar is comprised of four periods of 13 weeks each. We list these periods for you, below.

1. Winter Solstice - 13 weeks - Minor sabbath
a. December 21 - Yule
b. December 21-22 - Winter Solstice/Yule. One of the Illuminati's Human Sacrifice Nights
c. February 1 and 2 - Candlemas and Imbolg, a.k.a. Groundhog's Day. One of the Illuminati's Human Sacrifice Nights
d. February 14 - Valentine's Day

2. Spring Equinox - 13 weeks - Minor sabbath but does require human sacrifice
a. March 21-22 - Goddess Ostara - Note: Easter is the first Sunday after the first new moon after Ostara. March 21 is one of the Illuminati's Human Sacrifice Nights
b. April 1 - All Fool's Day, precisely 13 weeks since New Year's Day!
c. April 19 - May 1 - Blood Sacrifice To The Beast. Fire sacrifice is required on April 19.
d. April 30 - May 1 - Beltaine Festival, also called Walpurgis Night. This is the highest day on the Druidic Witch's Calendar. May 1 is the Illuminati's second most sacred holiday. Human sacrifice is required

3. Summer Solstice - 13 weeks - When the sun reaches its northernmost point in its journey across the sky
a. June 21 - 22 - Summer Solstice
b. June 21 - Litha is one of the Illuminati's Human Sacrifice Nights
c. July 4, America's Independence Day, is 13 days after Day of Litha and 66 days from April 30
d. July 19 - 13 days before Lughnasa
e. July 31 - August 1 - Lughnasa, Great Sabbat Festival. August - One of the Illuminati's Human Sacrifice Nights

4. Autumnal Equinox - 13 weeks - Minor Sabbath but does require human sacrifice
a. September 21 - Mabon - one of the Illuminati's Human Sacrifice Nights
b. September 21 -22 - Autumnal Equinox
c. October 31 - Samhain, also known as Halloween, or All Hallows Eve. This date is the Illuminati's highest day of human sacrifice

Isn't it interesting how the "profane" - you and me - are led like a flock of sheep to observe the important festival days of the Mysteries' Religion?

You may not understand that you are ordering your year after pagan holidays, but you are! The annual calendar for the entire Western world is ordered by these Satanic festival times and days.

Now that we have seen the entire occult calendar, let us go back to the significant holidays to see how the Western world has slipped into a worship of the same pagan holidays and are using many of the same pagan symbols that are so important to the pagan worshipper.

The human sacrifice required during many of these occult dates needs to contain the following elements, each one of which is exaggerated to the highest possible degree:

1. Trauma, stress, and mental anguish, sheer terror
2. The final act in the drama should be destruction by a fire; preferably a conflagration.
3. People must die as human sacrifices, especially children, since Lord Satan looks upon a younger human sacrifice as his most desirable

People must die in human sacrifices? Learn something new every day. And "trauma, stress, mental anguish, and sheer terror," are the 4 new Slice Girls, not a recipe for black masses, which are happy family-oriented gatherings.

[Alcibiades]

Down here in the southern hemisphere, it is the autumnal equinox.

Large wickerwork figures are assembled by the local Illuminati chapters to represent the corn spirit and burnt in a bonfire, usually with some sacrificial victim trapped on the inside. Typically, some down-and-out street dweller/Dinar investor (who won't be missed) is 'recruited'. Alcoholics are best, because they tend to burn more fiercely.

There is much consumption of cider and spit-roasted pork. A pleasant way to greet the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness.

[JennyD]

Illuminati shindigs and human sacrifice go together like bacon and eggs, except there's less cholesterol. I'm putting on the black robes, sharpening up my dagger, and getting ready for an evening of fun, games, and pools of blood.

How do you recruit the candidates for sacrifice -- perhaps, by advertising a seminar which, for a fee of $100, will show you a method of avoiding all income taxes by making yourself a "non-taxpayer"?

It's easy, we take the neighbor that is least liked and "invite" them to a party in their honor, the honor being that they become the dinner

[notorial dissent]

We advertise for people to be on a reality TV show where they will get humiliated and quite possibly killed. They not only show up in droves, but are willing to sign an iron-clad release that indemnifies us if they are harmed. Is this a great country or what?

The scary part of it is that it would work. Does cut down on the recruitment fees though.

[Judge Roy Bean]

... Alcoholics are best, because they tend to burn more fiercely. ...

I once turned one into a human torch with just one touch of the cattle prod.