Random thoughts

[The Observer]

Why do stores that are open 24 hours, 7 days a week have locks on their doors?

[wserra]

If only pussies ski the slalom, who skis the giant slalom?

[AndyK]

If you want a job done fast the first time, assign it to the laziest person available.

[JamesVincent]

Why are there Silverados that aren't silver? I think someone should sue GM for false advertisement.

[Pottapaug1938]

Who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp?

[webhick]

Dodge Ram. Which is it and why don't the insurance companies charge extra for the last part?

[fortinbras]

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

And if people from Canada are called Canucks and people from Kentucky are called Kentucks, then why aren't people from Shamokin .......?

[fortinbras]

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

[The Observer]

What if the hokey-pokey is really what its all about?

[ArthurWankspittle]

You can prove anything with statistics. For instance, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

[Famspear]

If something gets out of whack, where exactly was it located when it was "in" whack?

[Cpt Banjo]

"Success is gettin' what you want. Happiness is wantin' what you get." Brother Dave Gardner.

[Judge Roy Bean]

Who decided that you count deer and elk (one deer, five elk, etc.) but more than one cow or horse and you have to have an "s" to indicate the plural?

And you count trout and tuna without the "s" but whales and dolphins get it.

Then there's the one goose vs. multiple geese thing.

Enquiring minds want to know.

[Pottapaug1938]

To quote the late, great Allan Sherman:

"One hippopotami
Cannot get on a bus
Because one hippopotami
Is two hippopotamus.
And if you take two goose,
You have one geese.
A pair of mouse is mice;
a pair of moose is meece."

[LaVidaRoja]

Why is it call a "PAIR" of pants when it is only one?

[Pottapaug1938]

Why is it call a "PAIR" of pants when it is only one?

The last lines of "One Hippopotami", from which I quoted above, are:

"If you should fall in love,
If you should find romance,
You'll pant -- and pant once more;
And that's a pair of pants."

[JamesVincent]

Why is it, on a dead calm day, that the second you start blowing leaves in a yard the wind always pick up? And, no matter which direction you are blowing said leaves, it is always in the opposite direction?

[Arthur Rubin]

Why is it, on a dead calm day, that the second you start blowing leaves in a yard the wind always pick up? And, no matter which direction you are blowing said leaves, it is always in the opposite direction?

Not my problem; no yard.

[Famspear]

If something gets out of whack, where exactly was it located when it was "in" whack?

I found the answer! I found the answer!

It was in the Nick-Nack-Paddy-Whack -- where you give your dog a bone!

[notorial dissent]

Now look what you've done, you've broken Famspear.