MacHaffie Murder Mystery

[Deep Knight]

I know most of you think I make these stories up simply because they’re so unbelievable and silly. Part of the conspiracy, don’t cha know. But there should be no doubt in your mind now that Gassy Rassy has made his latest post slavishly spouting the Putin party line. And as you saw, Putin loves to party.

OBAMA TRYING TO PUSH RUSSIA INTO NUCLEAR WORLD WAR III. FROM ERASMUS OF AMERICA - FEB. 25, 2015 - 4:35 PM

TWO IMPORTANT INTERNET LINKS BELOW SHOW THAT RUSSIA IS PREPARING TO FIGHT A NUCLEAR WAR III WITH AMERICA IF OBAMA DOES NOT LET UP ON PUSHING RUSSIA INTO NUCLEAR WAR III. I SPENT ELEVEN CALENDAR YEARS IN MILITARY ACADEMIES AND LATER IN A MILITARY INTELLIGENCE OPERATION SUCCESSFULLY CRACKED THE SECURITY OF THE MOSCOW INSTITUTE FOR NUCLEAR STUDIES. I AM NOT A COWARD IN WAR BUT ALSO NOT A FOOL IN WAR. … OBAMA IS A BASIC IDIOT IN MILITARY REALITY. PUTIN OF RUSSIA IS NOT A FOOL IN MILITARY AND QUITE DANGEROUS IF PUSHED TOO FAR. I AM AMAZED THAT THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF OF THE PENTAGON ARE ALLOWING OBAMA TO TRY AND PUSH AMERICA INTO A NUCLEAR WORLD WAR III WITH RUSSIA.

I WAS TRAINED LIKE A SOVIET GENERAL IN NUCLEAR WARFARE TACTICS OF THE SOVIET UNION DURING THE COLD WAR. I RECRUITED A DEFECTOR FROM THE MOSCOW INSTITUTE OF NUCLEAR STUDIES WHO TRAINED THE GENERALS OF THE SOVIET UNION IN THEIR TOP SECRET NUCLEAR TACTICS TO TRAIN ME LIKE THE SOVIET GENERALS WERE TRAINED. I CAN THINK BOTH AMERICAN AND RUSSIAN IN NUCLEAR WARFARE. … I SUGGEST THAT CONGRESS IMMEDIATELY REMOVE OBAMA FROM THE WHITE HOUSE BEFORE POTENTIALLY 90% TO 100% OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE ANNIHILATED IF WORLD WAR III BREAKS OUT. HE IS AN IDIOT AND AN INSANE LEADER IN HIS WORLD WAR III IDEAS THAT HE CAN WIN SUCH A WAR IF HE STARTS IT. WATCHING PENTAGON MOVES UNDER OBAMA AND I KNOW THAT AN IDIOT MUST BE RUNNING THE SHOW AS THE PENTAGON IN MY JUDGMENT HAS NOT MADE THE RIGHT MOVES TO COUNTER THE RUSSIAN STRATEGY IF I AM CORRECT.

WHAT IS SAD ABOUT ALL THIS IS THAT I HAVE GREAT RESPECT FOR THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE AND WANT NEITHER THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE NOR THE AMERICANS MASS HURT AND SLAUGHTERED DUE TO AN IDIOT IN THE WHITE HOUSE CALLED OBAMA. IF I WERE PRESIDENT OF AMERICA, IT WOULD TAKE ME MAYBE 24 HOURS AND I WOULD HAVE THE RUSSIAN MILITARY CHECKMATED AND THERE WOULD BE NO WAR AFTER THAT. … ONCE I MADE THE RIGHT MOVES, I WOULD EVEN BE WILLING TO SHOW THE RUSSIANS WHAT I DID AND THEY MIGHT SAY WITH ALMOST A GRIN, "YOU BASTARD! YOU KNOW HOW WE PLAY!" AND WITH THAT, I WOULD PUSH A WAR OF FRIENDSHIP WITH RUSSIA AND SOON THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE WOULD BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS AND HELPING TO BUILD UP THE ECONOMIES OF BOTH GREAT RACES ON EARTH.
…
FOR WHATEVER IT IS WORTH, I AM A NOVELTY AND AMONG OTHER THINGS DESCEND FROM THE RUSSIAN ROYAL LINE WHICH STARTED FROM KIEV, UKRAINE. THIS IS SYMBOLIC BUT MAKES ME A GOOD LEADER TO CALM THINGS DOWN AND END THE VIOLENCE IN THE UKRAINE IN THE END. THIS ALSO HELPS DEFUSE THE PENDING NUCLEAR WORLD WAR III…
…
HAVING SPENT ELEVEN CALENDAR YEARS IN MILITARY ACADEMIES AND HEAVY BACKGROUND IN MILITARY INTELLIGENCE … I STARTED AS A SMALL MILITARY CADET IN A MILITARY ACADEMY WITH MY ROOMMATE BEING THE SON OF A TOM MIX WHO WAS A HOLLYWOOD COWBOY MOVIE STAR BACK IN THE 'THIRTIES AND DIED BEFORE HIS SON EVER ATTENDED THIS MILITARY ACADEMY. AND MY VIEW OF MILITARY WARFARE GOT FAR MORE COMPLEX AND SOPHISTICATED AS I GOT OLDER IN ELEVEN CALENDAR YEARS IN MILITARY ACADEMIES. A LATER ROOMMATE OF MINE AT ANOTHER MILITARY ACADEMY LATER ENDED UP AS A GENERAL IN THE U.S. ARMY. IF HE IS STILL AROUND, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE HIM TO JOIN MY TEAM WHEN THE OMNI LAW IS PASSED. I ALWAYS THOUGHT HIGHLY OF HIM.
…
I WOULD BE GOOD AT WARFARE, BUT REALLY LOVE PEACE AND TRADE FOR THE NATIONS FAR MORE THAN WARS. ECONOMICS IS THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON TO CREATE PEACE RATHER THAN WARFARE IN THIS WORLD. I KNOW ECONOMICS. OBAMA DOES NOT! HE IS A MICKEY MOUSE AMATEUR IN NATIONAL ECONOMICS HAVING ONLY LEARNED COMMUNIST ECONOMICS FROM COMMUNIST TEACHERS THAT HE WANTED TO TEACH HIM AS HE GREW UP AND AFTERWARDS. HIS TACTICS ARE COMMUNIST, NOT FREE ENTERPRISE. AND HE BELIEVES IN TYRANNY AS THE FORM OF GOVERNMENT TO HAVE, NOT GOVERNMENT OF FREEDOM AND GOD-GIVEN RIGHTS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

YOURS FOR GOD AND COUNTRY, ERASMUS OF AMERICA (PEN NAME FOR THAT AMERICAN LEADER WHO KNOWS HOW TO WAGE NATIONAL WARFARE, BUT LOVES PEACE INSTEAD OF WARFARE AS THE ANSWER FOR THE PROBLEMS OF AMERICA AND THE WORLD AT THIS TIME.)

Posted by Freewill at 6:18 PM

[Gregg]

For those of you keeping score at home, Gassy Rassy has over the years claimed some bit or another of the following hereditary sees:

Czar of All the Russias
The Throne of Charlemagne and Holy Roman Emperor
Presidency of The Confederate States of America (not hereditary, but, well, its a long story)
Something or other to do with more than one Saint
and his own father who invented a new way to mill flour (WTF?)
Oh, and his mother, who was so smart they couldn't even measure her smartness, almost as smart as her CAPLOCK key and grammar challenged son!

Has he claimed to be descended from The Emperor Chin or Ghengis Khan yet, have I missed any?

[wserra]

I SPENT ELEVEN CALENDAR YEARS IN MILITARY ACADEMIES

"Eleven years of college - wasted!"

[Pottapaug1938]

I SPENT ELEVEN CALENDAR YEARS IN MILITARY ACADEMIES

"Eleven years of fourth grade - wasted!"

Fixed it for you.

[Deep Knight]

For those of you keeping score at home, Gassy Rassy has over the years claimed some bit or another of the following hereditary sees:
...
The Throne of Charlemagne and Holy Roman Emperor
...
Has he claimed to be descended from The Emperor Chin or Ghengis Khan yet, have I missed any?

Not that anyone can make sense of what Rassy claims, but apparently he's a branch of the Hapsburgs Kings of France. I don't think this is the same claim as the Charlemagne one, but I could be mistaken.

Because the details of the following are releasing details hidden from Europe for a long time since elements in Europe thought they had successfully murdered off the branch of the royal line of France I descend from, the shock wave will soon reach Europe that the real royal line of France is still intact, well, and many of us in America descend from this branch of the royal line of France. When my great grandfather in pride gave all six of his children names from this French royal line, the family privately boasted how all six still had the hereditary birthmark of the family line which came from the mother who married the ruler of France which established this branch of the French royal line. An Austrian nurse to the Hapsburgs was quoted in the Latimer series of history on Europe mentioning what this unique birthmark was this branch of the Hapsburgs had. The six children all had the hereditary birthmark on their hip maybe no other family in Europe ever had. My grandfather Joseph had the hereditary birthmark. My mother had the birthmark and keeping to the family tradition, I also had the hereditary birthmark. Since the elder brother of Joseph who was Francis died young, Joseph became the lawful head of the family claims. And since I am his only male descendant, I have all the family claims to the Throne of France and which involve the authority to cancell the Louisiana Purchase if Wash., D.C. stole back the $15 million payment for the Louisiana Purchase which it has. The land not being paid for, I with the authority of the royal line of France declare that legally the Louisiana Purchase was cancelled as a land sale to America on August 25, 2012 since Wash., D.C. stole back the purchase price for this land and France certainly never gave this land to America for free. I know all the family details of the secret story how the royal line of France ended up in America after our enemies thought they had successfully murdered the line in Europe.

Yep, you remember them Habsburg Kings of France with their shrunken, spotty male members? Well, Rassy's is even more shrunken and spotty!

[Deep Knight]

FOR WHATEVER IT IS WORTH, I AM A NOVELTY

I STARTED AS A SMALL MILITARY CADET IN A MILITARY ACADEMY WITH MY ROOMMATE BEING THE SON OF A TOM MIX WHO WAS A HOLLYWOOD COWBOY MOVIE STAR BACK IN THE 'THIRTIES AND DIED BEFORE HIS SON EVER ATTENDED THIS MILITARY ACADEMY.

Tom married five times and had two children, Ruth, born July 13, 1912, to Olive Stokes, and Thomasina, born February 12, 1922, to Victoria Ford.

[Gregg]

FOR WHATEVER IT IS WORTH, I AM A NOVELTY

I STARTED AS A SMALL MILITARY CADET IN A MILITARY ACADEMY WITH MY ROOMMATE BEING THE SON OF A TOM MIX WHO WAS A HOLLYWOOD COWBOY MOVIE STAR BACK IN THE 'THIRTIES AND DIED BEFORE HIS SON EVER ATTENDED THIS MILITARY ACADEMY.

Tom married five times and had two children, Ruth, born July 13, 1912, to Olive Stokes, and Thomasina, born February 12, 1922, to Victoria Ford.

Which, if you go along with the 20 other problems in the storyline still leaves him rooming with a female at a military school at least 80 years ago.

The legitimate Royal family of France is/was The Bourbons, many of whom are still around and despite the country's stated preference for convertible kings as stated in 1792, still are considered royalty among they type of people who keep up with that sort of thing. In america we tend to think of the WIndsors as the only royal family but in Europe they're still big on the celebrity tabloid circuit. Ditto for some remaining Romanovs, HohenZollerns (Germany), Hapsburgs (who were the Royal family of Austria-Hungary, not France) and Mountbattons the last of which are Greek but due to Prince Phillip's marriage to Queen Elizabeth have pretty much become a branch of the British. There are several line of second level Royal families, too, like the Hess princes whose name I don't know, the Grimaldis of Monaco, that is, houses who ruled interdependently but had no King, just Prince's (they all fade away with the end of males lines)

[Deep Knight]

The legitimate Royal family of France is/was The Bourbons, many of whom are still around and despite the country's stated preference for convertible kings as stated in 1792, still are considered royalty among they type of people who keep up with that sort of thing. In america we tend to think of the WIndsors as the only royal family but in Europe they're still big on the celebrity tabloid circuit. Ditto for some remaining Romanovs, HohenZollerns (Germany), Hapsburgs (who were the Royal family of Austria-Hungary, not France) and Mountbattons the last of which are Greek but due to Prince Phillip's marriage to Queen Elizabeth have pretty much become a branch of the British. There are several line of second level Royal families, too, like the Hess princes whose name I don't know, the Grimaldis of Monaco, that is, houses who ruled interdependently but had no King, just Prince's (they all fade away with the end of males lines)

The Habsburgs (preferred spelling), who have ruled a bunch of places historically, but not France, do have a family genetic trait.

Inbreeding was common among all royalty, but the Habsburgs had the worst possible luck with it. A few unfortunate family traits were bottled up and intensified. As generations of family members intermarried, the Habsburgs became prone to epilepsy, gout, dropsy, and depression. The most prominent sign of their familial connection was the Habsburg jaw, a lower jaw that jutted out from the face. The last of the royal Habsburgs, Charles II, had a jaw so large that he couldn't chew, and had a tough time speaking. His death, without an heir, plunged the empire into war.

The Habsburg jaw is not the only distinctive characteristic of the royal line. The Habsburgs also tended to have unusually-shaped heads, a slight cast to their lower eyelids, flattened facial features, and a distinctive shape to their nose. Although scientists believe that these traits may have been exacerbated through inbreeding, it looks like the traits are autosomal dominant. If one parent displays Habsburg facial characteristics, their children have a fifty-fifty chance of displaying the same characteristics. The genes are dominant, and if a person inherits them, they are affected.

Charles II of Spain.

[notorial dissent]

And if you think it looked fetching on Chuck II there, who was a prime example of Habsburgness in all its glory, imagine what the Infantas looked like. The Habsburg line failed in Spain for want of an heir, give you a couple of wild guesses why. They didn't do too much better in Italy and all got chased out by the time the Italian revolutions were over.