Illuminati Halloween Party

[LightinDarkness]

Dearest fellow Illuminati members,

I am dismayed that we have not had a thread this year about our yearly satanic/demonic/NWO/whatever ritual! I don't even know where I am supposed to go! Isn't DK in charge of these things? Should I bring people to sacrifice? If so, what kind? Babies?

I understand putting together evil rituals is a daunting task, but we need to coordinate better!

Sincerely,

LiD
Quatloos! Bank Team to Stop the RV
Headquarters Division

[AndyK]

For those 55 or older, one of the official parties is being held at Sun City, Hilton Head, South Carolina.

Your annual Illuminati dues cover the cost of the event, but it is, as usual, BYOB (Bring Your Own Blood for the sacrifices)

Unfortunately, since we switch back to Standard Time tonight, the festivities will be curtailed an hour early.

Just show your official Illuminati ID card card to the guard at the gate and he will direct you to the festivities.

Costumes are optional, but this year's theme is a blend of Doctor Who and Time Warp dancing.

[The Observer]

If you are truly in the Illuminati, then you would already know where this year's festivities are being held and would not need to ask. That is how we are able to determine who on this site is really a full-fledged Illuminati and who are the wanna-be's.

[Judge Roy Bean]

If you're not here with us, you didn't get the invite!

[LightinDarkness]

What! So your saying I'm not really important enough to get invites? I mean...I've worked night and day to stop the RV from going for years. I've stopped it at the bank screens, stopped people from pushing the RV button, etc. I have denied tons of prosperity people their riches/blessing. How is that not good enough?!

[Burnaby49]

What! So your saying I'm not really important enough to get invites? I mean...I've worked night and day to stop the RV from going for years. I've stopped it at the bank screens, stopped people from pushing the RV button, etc. I have denied tons of prosperity people their riches/blessing. How is that not good enough?!

Whine, whine, whine. I don't see any baby sacrifices or ritual virgin slaughtering in your pathetic list. Another wanna-be who's to fastidious to get their hands dirty in the boring but necessary grunt-work.

[Gregg]

Meanwhile, I was gong through some pictures of years past and found one of a patrol from the 699th Airborne Assault Dachshund Regiment that went out and never returned.
Those of you who think you can escape certain death from trained attack wiener dogs are wrong......



You can climb a post but they'll never let you down.

Chili Dog just loves that picture

[LightinDarkness]

I am saddened that I must be reduced to simply slaughtering virgins and/or babies to get some professional development opportunities in this organization!

I should simply let the RV happen and tell the RV Prevention team to stop their round-the-clock efforts to prevent people from getting their monetary blessings and prosperity.


...Just kidding. Even without being invited to the annual mass slaughter, preventing people from getting rich from dinars is incredibly fulfilling. What can I say, I love my work!

[The Observer]

Well, if you're are willing to appear as a virgin or baby for next year's bash, I can probably get you an invitation.

[Gregg]

Nobody appreciates them for it, no one considers the bravery and the sacrifice it takes to do what they do, but while you, and the kids, and the CATS making LULZ and snorting catnip and enjoying the party, someone has to go out on that perimeter and protect that frontier, someone has to suck up the pup or roni and gather themselves a space out there in the frontier, a post on the wall. And while you in here playing games and snorting catnip, just remember that like every night, again tonight, members of the illustrious 699th Airborne Assault Dachshund Regiment will be on the wall, protecting your freedom, your candy, your cute little MEME kittens...and all because of these selfless warriors from the Imperial Illuminati Air Force, special forces...the thundering 699th! The ONLY full regiments of Dachshunds EVER dropped into combat.You just remember that tonight when you say your prayers......

[LightinDarkness]

What about the 666th airborne terrier regiment?

[Gregg]

They're "Army of Darkness" and we're, of course, Imperial Illuminati Air Force, so no love lost.....

[Deep Knight]

Some pictures of last night's blowout.


Even with a mask on, everybody still knew it was the big guy downstairs.


The Washington DC contingent performing a comic skit.


The BBQ was finger lickin' good!


The crowd danced until the wee hours.


A fun time was had by all!


Me and the wife in our homemade costumes. Who says you have to spend a fortune to keep up with the Joneses?

[The Observer]

That is the problem with these parties. The pictures from this year look exactly like the ones from last year. It's bad enough that Finance has put a cap on the party budget, but having to suffer through the exact same routine year after year is getting really old. Next thing you know, they will be telling us that we can no longer cash in our Dinars every week.

[Gregg]

Couldn't agree more!

That's why I fund the annual Thanksgiving Weekend Conspiracy Dinner myself, a big blowout always makes oppressing the downtrodden seem worth while.
This year we're staying at The Waldorf Astoria, the musical entertainment is at Carnegie Hall, and dinner is at The Bull and Bear....

Pricey? you bet

Worth It? and then some!

November 28th, The Illuminati's annual meeting on Manhattan Island to plan the coming year of oppression, suppression and exploitation of the masses! Be there or, well, be one of the oppressed....

[The Observer]

I won't be able to attend this year, as much as I wanted to hear Arlo sing "Alice's Restaurant." We just secured property earlier this year that will establish a Western Fortified complex in the heart of sovrun lands, bordering on Frikintardistan. So I will be celebrating Thanksgiving there with a chance of snowfall on the nearby mountains as we dine.

[Gregg]

We understand fully, a place of honor will be kept in your spirit, and a toast to you offered!

[LightinDarkness]

So how many sacrifices were this year? How many virgins (before DK got to them), how many babies?

[Burnaby49]

So how many sacrifices were this year? How many virgins (before DK got to them), how many babies?

Next you'll be asking how many beers I had and did I drive home or is DK still hung over. Post-mortum dissections of parties can never really describe them.

[The Observer]

I doubt anyone keeps a count these days anymore. The old saying "if you've sacrificed one virgin, you've sacrificed them all" applies here. And to tell the truth, the sacrifices are just something that the geriatric Illuminati like DK cling to, in their hopes that Lucifier is going to get brought back as CEO. But that is just wishful thinking and nostalgia while ignoring the reality that the Illuminati are modernizing and moving ahead under new management from the shape-changing reptile team of Regula VI. Eating humans is a lot more efficient than just wasting all of the good meat on a pointless sacrifice.