Yanking LoserHead's chain

[Nikki]

This can't be real

I'm thinking along the lines of asking the boss a few questions that begin with the phrase "admit or deny" such as the following. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Dear Chato,

Please admit or deny the following facts:

1. Chato's Pool Cleaning and Firewood Delivery Service is incorporated in the State of California.

2. The company hired Los Pendejos Payroll Accounting Services Inc for the purpose of preparing legally correct information returns to the IRS.

3. The company does not pay me "wages" per the definition found in 26 USC 3401.

4. The company does not pay me "wages" per the definition found in 26 USC 3121.

If you are unsure of the correct answers to 3 and 4 above you should ask Los Pendejos for their professional advice.

Yours, JHV

Suggestions?

I think Los P's should be forced to put their money where their mouth is. After all, did they not fail to show due diligence in ascertaining the facts prior to preparing information returns?

But it's still beautiful

[webhick]

Chato's Pool Cleaning and Firewood Delivery Service is incorporated in the State of California.

It's closely related to Topanga's Shallow End Yellow and Flammable Calculator Construction. And both are, of course, divisions of Two Services Which Don't Make Sense Together, LLC.

And they're all owned by the Illuminati. Seriously. Pool Cleaning and Firewood Delivery in the same company in CA? Only we could come up with that.

Be sure to check out our new service in New Mexico - Cappy's Fire Protection and Custom Arson Consultants. It's a division of One Hand Washing Itself, LLC.

[Bashful]

Anyone taking bets on how long this guy keeps his job after submitting those demands?

Such a lucrative career to lose.

[Quixote]

Anyone taking bets on how long this guy keeps his job after submitting those demands?

Such a lucrative career to lose.

The experiences of TPs who have tried that suggests that the boss will either ignore the demand, try to talk some sense into JHV, or, if the company is large enough, have someone in HR or Legal try to talk some sense into JHV.

One response I have never seen is the boss suggesting that the TP file a Form SS-8, Determination of Worker Status for Purposes of Federal Employment Taxes and Income Tax Withholding, with the IRS. If the IRS sided with the TP and issued a determination that the TP is not an employee of the company, the employer would save money on FICA, FUTA, SUTA, pension funding, and probably worker's comp.

[webhick]

Anyone taking bets on how long this guy keeps his job after submitting those demands?

Such a lucrative career to lose.

The experiences of TPs who have tried that suggests that the boss will either ignore the demand, try to talk some sense into JHV, or, if the company is large enough, have someone in HR or Legal try to talk some sense into JHV.

One response I have never seen is the boss suggesting that the TP file a Form SS-8, Determination of Worker Status for Purposes of Federal Employment Taxes and Income Tax Withholding, with the IRS. If the IRS sided with the TP and issued a determination that the TP is not an employee of the company, the employer would save money on FICA, FUTA, SUTA, pension funding, and probably worker's comp.

You forgot the overtime. The law doesn't require you to pay time and a half on any hours over 40 for non-employees.

Last week, one of our guys hired someone who insisted on being a subcontractor. We told him that he'd need his own liability and worker's comp (now required by state law on "working" owners in construction). He was a little turned off at that point, even more so when he found out that he wasn't getting a check until we got proof of insurance. And then he made a comment about how he really needed that overtime. ::blink:: ::blink:: "Overtime?" I asked. He said that any hours over 40 had to get overtime pay. I told him that if he's not an employee he doesn't get the employee protections and privileges and that all hours worked would be paid straight time unless otherwise specified and agreed upon by written contract.

I could have sworn he blanched. I should point out that he kept insisting that he paid his own taxes and that everyone loses over half their check to the IRS every week. I wonder if I was dealing with a passive TP (which is odd since his wife is studying to be a CPA). We'll see.