Phony Dong

[The Observer]

I noticed this article about "hell money" which involves the practice in Asian culture of burning phony money as an offering to deceased relatives. As such, the money is not intended to be passed as currency, but I couldn't help but notice that there were counterfeit dong notes among the seized currencies. The question that popped into my mind was how much of these "funeral" notes have been sold to RV investors as the real thing?

[Gregg]

Not as much as you'd think. The real stuff is almost as cheap and an awful lot of the dinaridgits get their Dong from real banks who do still sell Dong and at much less markup than other outlets.

The ones I'd most be worried about fakes, were it possible is Zim$ which are technically worthless, but copied for novelty, perfectly legally.

[Chaos]

I believe there was a bunch of phony dongs sent to Oregon.

[notorial dissent]

Multi-colored even.

[Pottapaug1938]

Not as much as you'd think. The real stuff is almost as cheap and an awful lot of the dinaridgits get their Dong from real banks who do still sell Dong and at much less markup than other outlets.

The ones I'd most be worried about fakes, were it possible is Zim$ which are technically worthless, but copied for novelty, perfectly legally.

Why would anyone do that? There are plenty of real Zim-dollars around; and I'm sure that anyone would be happy to get a USD or two and get the worthless piece of paper off of their hands.

[Gregg]

The copies I'm thinking of are literally 2nd generation photo copies, which at some denominations probably cost more to fake than they were really worth, when they were worth anything.
Which brings me to mention, once again, the very special kind of stupid that it takes to be one of these idiots. I will give them that some of them do realize that once a currency has be de-monetized, it is then and forever worthless, but I am amazed by how many of them still discuss "strategy" for investing in Zims and the various ways that it might RV itself....and how many zeros would be dropped if it did. A discussion whether a de-monetized one hundred trillion dollar note will be worth ten thousand dollars or one hundred thousand dollars can go for days, with not one person mentioning that the thing is technically worthless and will never, ever under any circumstance not involving unicorns and time machines be worth more than the paper its printed on.
The Black Night in "The Holy Grail" was a pessimist....


I really think that a Dinaridgit is so stupid he floats, and am willing to toss a few hundred off the deck of a cruise ship to test that theory.

[Deep Knight]

Talk is cheap, I suggest you put this to the test. Call up your local bank and ask them straight out if a phony Dong would satisfy them. Even if they're the kind that would let someone walk in off the street and put their Dong into them, I can guarantee they would hang up on you immediately if you clearly specify it's not real. And you'll probably get a visit from the Vice Squad later in the day.

Actual Dong are so worthless it takes literally millions of them to get the attention of even the skankiest bank. We're talking institutions that value hard currency, not flaccid notes whose value is soft from having been devalued over and over again. Given that, it doesn't take too much of an imagination to imagine how they would feel about phony ones. Especially that stern woman in Teller Cage 3 with the no-nonsense glint in her eye.

I suggest you invest in Monopoly Money instead. Not only can it buy you houses and hotels on Park Place, it has the look and feel of the real thing. So what it's a bit smaller, size isn't everything. Just keep telling yourself and your significant other that, and sooner or later you'll believe it.

I would say more, but to be quite honest it doesn't present a challenge and Deep Knight eschews things that are too easy. Except of course for the line of Supermodels stretching out of his bedroom and around the block. I may have high standards, but I'm not stupid.

[notorial dissent]

It's when the Int'l Tellers snicker at you when you come through the door, that you know your reputation has finally caught up with you.