Solar eclipse

[AndyK]

I'm astonished that none of the woo-woo groups have latched onto the upcoming eclipse as as sign of:

Impending RV
Implementation of NESARA / GESARA
Covert Illuminati operations
Other crackpot conspiracy theory

Has anyone seen anything along these lines?

[notorial dissent]

I always thought solar eclipses were the ending of the world and stuffs.

[TheNewSaint]

I live in Omaha, Nebraska, and the small towns around here are expecting 5,000 or more people (far more than live there) to view the totality when it passes by. Haven't heard any doomsday stuff yet but I wouldn't be surprised.

[The Observer]

I always thought solar eclipses were the ending of the world and stuffs.

Yeah, but the great thing is you can fool the FOTLs into believing you have the power to darken the sun and make them bow down and worship you!

[Arthur Rubin]

I always thought solar eclipses were the ending of the world and stuffs.

Yeah, but the great thing is you can fool the FOTLs into believing you have the power to darken the sun and make them bow down and worship you!

Sounds like fun. Does that really work?

[Forsyth]

Yeah, but the great thing is you can fool the FOTLs into believing you have the power to darken the sun and make them bow down and worship you!

Sounds like fun. Does that really work?

Sadly the science of predicting eclipses has been known for over 2,000 years, so at least some of them have caught on by now. I understand the correct current procedure is to sell them homeopathic eclipse viewing glasses (any plain glass spectacles will do). This won't necessarily result in them bowing down to you as such, but they should be pretty easy to push over after ten minutes or so.

[AndyK]

Across South Carolina, several cities haveplanned major eclipse-related events.

To go along with that, most of the decent hotels are offering "special eclipse rates" -- about double the usual rate. Despite that, they are already reporting 90% booking.

I think I'll just watch it on TV. I doubt if it will be any different from the two or three I've already seen -- except for the choice of beverages and food.

[Pottapaug1938]

If I wasn't hoping to head across the pond for a wedding in July, I'd be planning on heading into the eclipse path (and sleeping at Boy Scout camps on the way). Well......if I can stay alive until 2024, there's going to be one in Vermont, Quebec and Maine -- MUCH closer to home.

My wife saw a total solar eclipse in 1970, living in northern New Jersey. She thinks that I'm crazy to want to see one in person -- but I've wanted to do ever since October of 1959. That eclipse was supposed to start in Boston, and my house was in the next city to the west; but it was overcast as the eclipse approached. The woman next door buncled her 5 kids and two others (including me) into her station wagon and headed for New Hampshire to try to get out from under the clouds...but no such luck.

[eric]

I missed the 1959 eclipse but was in a great spot and time for the 1963 eclipse. Of course, this being my family, it was viewed as a teaching moment for basic optics and construction of pin hole cameras.

[The Observer]

Yeah, but the great thing is you can fool the FOTLs into believing you have the power to darken the sun and make them bow down and worship you!

Sounds like fun. Does that really work?

Sadly the science of predicting eclipses has been known for over 2,000 years, so at least some of them have caught on by now. I understand the correct current procedure is to sell them homeopathic eclipse viewing glasses (any plain glass spectacles will do). This won't necessarily result in them bowing down to you as such, but they should be pretty easy to push over after ten minutes or so.

Ignore whatever that Forsysth is saying behind that curtain over there. With my "Eclipsing Your Way To Fame and Glory" package, you will be able to learn the correct and proper method of awing and intimidating the FOTLs into providing for your every need and want - and at their expense! I put this package after extensive investigation and research into the history* and knowledge of how others - like Columbus - used the power of eclipses to control masses of people and to influence their decision making. What does "ECYFG" include? You get:

1) An extensive list of all solar and lunar eclipses for the next 75 years,

2) A hand book of phrases (in several languages, including English, Latin and ancient Greek) to use during the eclipse, that will assist you in persuading the FOTLs of your new-found power,

3) A sketch library of proper and bold gestures and poses that will make an major impact on the crowds; these include the famous "forefinger pointing to the sky" and the always popular "crossed arms on the chest while concentrating" pose.

4) Dancing schematics that show all the steps to use for those particular FOTLs who are vulnerable to shamanism and superstition.

And as an extra bonus, we throw in the Eclipse Insurance package as an additional selling point for those FOTLs who will not simply believe that you can produce an eclipse. With this sure-fire money maker, you sell insurance policies to FOTLs that will protect from the dire - and direct results - of the eclipse - such as crop failure, death of their first born, pestilence, fall of the government, war and divorce (sorry, but loss of retinal tissue is not covered by this policy).

And to stand behind my product, I provide my exclusive guarantee that this package will bring you countless hours of satisfaction, immense wealth, tremendous power, and a few chuckles. This guarantee is in the form of a do-it-yourself "last will and testament" that I will see gets entered into probate in the rare instance that your FOTL crowd turns on you and kills you.

All of this comes at the low, low price of $199.95. I regret that we cannot accept checks or Dinars, Zims, or other foreign currencies that are being traded for ridiculous reasons/amounts.






* At least 15 minutes was involved in the research.

[LaVidaRoja]

But do you accept Re?

[Number Six]

I've never seen one but our local astronomical society is generally good at alerting members of events like this including other boring sky happenings: https://www.was-ct.org/calendar/ I have heard it is the most exciting astronomical event.