The Shame of Being a Canadian

[Burnaby49]

This is not in any way a Quatloos topic but this is my venue for venting and people (well a person) are disparaging my country and citizenship. I can't stand idly by, guzzling Real Cask's 10% ABV Barley Wine, while Australians (well an Australian) make grossly offensive comments about Canadian citizenship. I was happy to have Ted Cruz renounce his citizenship (thanks Ted!) but things are starting to go out of control!

The backstory is that the Wall Street Journal has an article in today's edition titled;

Australia’s Swamp Needs Draining Too: It Had a Canadian in It

The scandal revolves around Section 44 of Australia’s Constitution. It contains a 116-year-old sub-clause which states that Australians are ineligible to be elected officials if they hold dual citizenship with another country. This was to stop Australian officials with dual loyalties from taking office back when the British influence was already overwhelming. This was a forgotten sleepy dead issue in the days before the internet but now people with nothing better to do with their time are tirelessly scouring the net to expose miscreants who are actually citizens and agents of malicious foreign powers. Powers such as Canada.

The current scandal involves Larissa Waters, a Queensland senator who resigned her position after discovering she was an “accidental” Canadian. Accidental? She was born here which automatically made her a citizen but she somehow conveniently forgot that. Her excuse was that she left when she was 11-months old and hasn’t been back to Canada since.

OK, fine, these things happen. But what turns this into treasonous diatribe against her own mother country was this comment quoted in the Wall Street Journal;

Sadly, Ms. Waters is currently a woman adrift. During her tearful resignation speech, she said it was with “shock and sadness” she had discovered she was Canadian.

Shock and sadness? I have to say I shared her opinion when I found out she was Canadian. She even renamed her twitter blog 'Accidental Canadian'. Macleans, our national magazine (slowly dying but I've subscribed for decades), has this to say about Larissa;

After that, Catherine McIntyre, writing for Canadian current-affairs magazine Macleans, issued a stern rebuke. “Harsh words indeed, and a sting to a collective Canadian ego accustomed to veneration from the international community,” she wrote.

Although I question whether Catherine is, herself, truly a Canadian. We don't have egos.

The only one I feel sorry for in this whole sordid mess is Matt Canavan, Australia's Resource Minister who had to resign after finding out that he was an Italian citizen. He said;

I was not born in Italy, I’ve never been to Italy and, to my knowledge, have never stepped foot in an Italian consulate or embassy.

But that wasn't enough to save him from the ramifications of a citizenship he had no idea he possessed. How did the Italian government get him in its clutches? Through innocent trust in his own mother!

In 2006, Mr. Canavan’s sentimental Italian mother, Maria, had successfully applied on his behalf for Italian citizenship—without telling him. Signore Canavan found out only after she came clean, and after confirming it with Italian diplomats.

Larissa doesn't even have that excuse. She knew she was born in Canada.

So we're foiled yet again. Canada, with an estimated population of only 36,657,857 as of Sunday, August 6, 2017, has to focus carefully on countries we can subvert from within through sleeper citizens. Australia, with a population of only 24,671,974 (estimate as of the same date) seemed perfect. Until that damned Section 44 kicked in. It also saved the Aussies from Italy's devilish plans.

[The Observer]

Sadly, Ms. Waters is currently a woman adrift. During her tearful resignation speech, she said it was with “shock and sadness” she had discovered she was Canadian.

This gives me the impression that there is a rite of passage for young Canadians, similar to the telling of the "birds-and-the-bees", when they reach adolescence:

Canadian Dad: Son, today you turn 13 and it's time we share something with you that you need to know.

Canadian Son: What is that, Dad? Is this about where babies come from?

Dad: No, something even more important. This is a sacred secret, something that is so important that we make it a special event for 13 year olds. Son, its important that you hear this from someone who loves you rather than just hearing it as a tawdry joke or dirty story from some punk on the street.

Son: What is it, Dad?

Dad: Son, you are a Canadian citizen.

Son: OMG! No, it can't be.

Dad: It is, I wouldn't lie to you.

Son: Please, please, let it be a lie!

Dad: Don't take it so bad, this is just the way life is. Some people are born in exceptional countries, and the rest are...well, born in Canada.

Son: But you don't understand! I had dreams, aspirations! I wanted to be somebody when I grew up! Now you are telling me that I am going to spend the rest of my life wearing plaid woolen shirts and drinking maple syrup. What kind of future is that?

Dad: You need to stop the hysterics. The neighbors are going to think that a moose got into the house or something. You will get over this in time and learn to accept your fate.

Son: Why didn't you and Mum do the decent thing and move south to the US to have me, eh?

Dad: Did you say, "Eh?"

Son: Oh no! It's started! I am turning Canadian!

[Burnaby49]

Dad: You need to stop the hysterics. The neighbors are going to think that a moose got into the house or something. You will get over this in time and learn to accept your fate.

Bears are far more typical of the Canadian experience. We had a bear in our backyard this summer even though we live in an urban area.

Another tragic consequence of being born in Canada is that it precludes us from every young real estate magnate's dream, being president of the United States.

[Famspear]

.....But you don't understand! I had dreams, aspirations! I wanted to be somebody when I grew up!...

That sounds a little like the Budd Schulberg screenplay of On the Waterfront (1954, Elia Kazan).....

"You don't understand..... I coulda been somebody! I coulda been a contender! Instead of a Canadian -- which is what I am, let's face it! It was you Charlie. It was you......"

[Famspear]

Some of my ancestors were French Canadian -- from "Acadie" (Acadia, or Nova Scotia). They got kicked out by the British, and moved down to south Louisiana in the 1700s.

Canadian ancestors! Will I ever live this down???!!!!??

[Burnaby49]

Some of my ancestors were French Canadian -- from "Acadie" (Acadia, or Nova Scotia). They got kicked out by the British, and moved down to south Louisiana in the 1700s.

Canadian ancestors! Will I ever live this down???!!!!??

The confession that you have a problem is one of the critical stages of recovery. At least you have Texas to fall back on as an alternate identity. All I have is Vancouver.

[bmxninja357]

As if canadian isnt bad enough im 3rd generation albertan.
If i tattood a drilling rig on my arm it would probably strike oil....

Peace
Ninj

[Burnaby49]

As if canadian isnt bad enough im 3rd generation albertan.
If i tattood a drilling rig on my arm it would probably strike oil....

Peace
Ninj

I was trying to avoid exposing your background by limiting this discussion to Canadians as a national group. The only comfort I can give is that it's not your fault. I can understand your shame, my father was born in Regina.

[The Observer]

I can understand your shame, my father was born in Regina.

That is nothing to be ashamed about. All of us came out of a Regina somewhere when we were born.

[Burnaby49]

I can understand your shame, my father was born in Regina.

That is nothing to be ashamed about. All of us came out of a Regina somewhere when we were born.

Regina has suffered through variations on that theme since it's incorporation. I recall it being a source of adult humour in my childhood days in the 50's. The name refers, of course, to Queen Victoria. My hometown avoided that potential play on it's name by just calling itself Victoria.

[Pottapaug1938]

I have Canadians on both sides of my family. Some emigrated there from England; and some from a collateral branch headed to New Brunswick after the American Revolution. One of them was Saint John's first tanner; and he and others are buried in the Loyalist Cemetery. To top it off, my paternal step-grandmother was a native of Restigouche County, NB; and I still have the $1 bill which she and Granddad bright me, after one of their many Canadian vacations in the early 60s.

[Burnaby49]

The Wall Street Journal has changed the name of the article from;

Australia’s Swamp Needs Draining Too: It Had a Canadian in It

To;

Australia’s Latest Political Scandal Is Completely Ridiculous

I preferred the original title. It at least hinted at Canada's (admittedly failed) attempts to subvert democracy in Australia. The new title is just poor journalism. It gives no indication of the topic in the article.

[The Observer]

This is all quickly turning into a situation where maybe, just maybe, a Canadians Anonymous organization needs to be established:

"Hi, I am Burnaby - and I am a Canadian."

(a crowd of people responding): "Hi, Burnaby!"

And every time a member feels like they are getting ready to relapse and do something Canadian, they can call up other members, who come over and get drunk together.

[The Observer]

Another tragic consequence of being born in Canada is that it precludes us from every young real estate magnate's dream, being president of the United States.

And I have to point out a minor flaw in your logic here. It is simply not young real estate magnates in Canada that are precluded from being able to dream about being POTUS - it is every young real estate magnate that was born outside the US who are precluded from that dream, courtesy of Article II of the US Constitution. Just another one of those things about being an exceptional country, I guess.

[JamesVincent]

I thought The Shame of Being a Canadian was having to admit that Justin Beiber was one of yours.

[Burnaby49]

I thought The Shame of Being a Canadian was having to admit that Justin Beiber was one of yours.

That's truer than you might think. As I wrote here;

viewtopic.php?f=16&t=10176&p=181342#p181342

In 2013 I was in Birmingham (England, not Alabama) and we had to do laundry so I found a laundromat but we had no detergent. A guy in his 50's was emptying a huge duffel bag out into a washer and he offered us some of his detergent so we got to talking. Turned out he was an American roadie on tour with a young female American black singer (forget her name) whom he liked because she was completely professional in her dealings with the crew and the tour. Then he said "and thank you Canada for sending that little shit Bieber down to us". He'd worked on a Bieber tour and the entire crew ended up disliking him. An immature demanding primadonna who treated the crew like crap. I told him not to blame me, if Bieber had to rely on my support he'd be where he belonged, running the deep fryer in the back of a McDonalds.

However I've changed my opinion since then. I don't think he could handle the deep fryer.

[webhick]

The Wall Street Journal has changed the name of the article from;

Australia’s Swamp Needs Draining Too: It Had a Canadian in It

To;

Australia’s Latest Political Scandal Is Completely Ridiculous

I preferred the original title. It at least hinted at Canada's (admittedly failed) attempts to subvert democracy in Australia. The new title is just poor journalism. It gives no indication of the topic in the article.

Second title is click-baity and sounds more like an op-ed.

[Burnaby49]

The Wall Street Journal has changed the name of the article from;

Australia’s Swamp Needs Draining Too: It Had a Canadian in It

To;

Australia’s Latest Political Scandal Is Completely Ridiculous

I preferred the original title. It at least hinted at Canada's (admittedly failed) attempts to subvert democracy in Australia. The new title is just poor journalism. It gives no indication of the topic in the article.

Second title is click-baity and sounds more like an op-ed.

Exactly the same article, they just changed the title.

[Burnaby49]

The rot in the Australian government goes deeper than I thought. The deputy prime minister was forced to confess to his secret, shameful heritage. He's actually a New Zealander!

Mr. Joyce, who is also Australia’s deputy prime minister, is the highest-ranking lawmaker so far to fall foul of an obscure constitutional rule stating that lawmakers must not owe allegiance to a foreign power.

He discovered the breach when New Zealand diplomats informed him he was a dual citizen because his father was born there. On Monday, New Zealand Prime Minister Bill English confirmed that Mr. Joyce is a Kiwi.

Mr. Joyce’s citizenship status potentially threatens the government’s narrow grip on power. He leads the Nationals, the junior partner in Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s ruling conservative coalition. His disqualification would likely trigger a by-election, potentially imperiling the government’s one-seat majority in the lower house.

A New Zealand mole, patiently biding his time for the perfect moment to bring down the Australian government, strikes! John Le Carré couldn't have scripted it better!

LIke any accomplished hardened spy caught in flagrante delicto he pled ignorance;

“Needless to say I was shocked to receive this information,” Mr. Joyce told Parliament on Monday. “I’ve always been an Australian citizen. Neither my parents nor I have ever applied to register me as a New Zealand citizen.”

However Australians and New Zealanders do have one important citizenship issue in common with Canada, they acquired their status almost in my lifetime;

Never mind that Mr. Joyce’s father migrated to Australia in 1947, before Australian citizenship even existed. Before 1949, Australians and New Zealanders were British subjects.

Canada, ahead of the curve, legislated citizenship in 1947 but, before that all Canadians, including my father, were just British subjects. We had no citizenship at all.

Back in the Australian legislature the decimation is accelerating as more and more illegally elected Aussies are outed.

[Ozydude]

They have run foul of section 44, subsection (i)

44. Any person who -

(i.) Is under any acknowledgement of allegiance, obedience, or adherence to a foreign power, or is a subject or a citizen or entitled to the rights or privileges of a subject or citizen of a foreign power: or
(ii.) Is attainted of treason, or has been convicted and is under sentence, or subject to be sentenced, for any offence punishable under the law of the Commonwealth or of a State by imprisonment for one year or longer: or
(iii.) Is an undischarged bankrupt or insolvent: or
(iv.) Holds any office of profit under the Crown, or any pension payable during the pleasure of the Crown out of any of the revenues of the Commonwealth: or
(v.) Has any direct or indirect pecuniary interest in any agreement with the Public Service of the Commonwealth otherwise than as a member and in common with the other members of an incorporated company consisting of more than twenty-five persons:
shall be incapable of being chosen or of sitting as a senator or a member of the House of Representatives.

But sub-section iv. does not apply to the office of any of the Queen's Ministers of State for the Commonwealth, or of any of the Queen's Ministers for a State, or to the receipt of pay, half pay, or a pension, by any person as an officer or member of the Queen's navy or army, or to the receipt of pay as an officer or member of the naval or military forces of the Commonwealth by any person whose services are not wholly employed by the Commonwealth.

The High Court has held that dual citizenship breaches section 44(i) - Sykes v Cleary [1992] HCA 60 http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/cases/cth/HCA/1992/60.html, Sue v Hill [1999] HCA 30 http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/cases/cth/HCA/1999/30.html andFree v Kelly & Australian Electoral Commission (No 2) [1996] HCA 42 http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/cases/cth/HCA/1996/42.html.

To be honest, I don't think Ms Waters meant any disrespect towards Canada.