Practical Lawful Dissent FMOTL antics, continued...

[Gregg]

Oh dear. No sooner has Dismal Dave turned away from the faithful, they've only gone and changed the group's name.

I feel a poem coming on;

So Farewell then, Practical Lawful Dissent

Dave's wonderful
invention
Has finally run
out of credit

No more the cry of
1215 and all that
will ever be heard

Keith's Mum tried this once
But lost her house

With apologies to E J Thribb

Moderators' note:
Whilst we hardly want to stifle anyone's creative muse, it must be noted that poetry has a long, storied history and background here at Quatloos. For these reasons, might I suggest that when composing poetry to memorialize the folly of fools, we usually limit one's tomfoolery to limericks or, alternatively, Haiku written in Japanese.

This is admittedly a tradition inspired by the Colonial side of the forum, most often by our not insignificant Texas delegation. Since they are Texans, one should for the sake of safety assume they are well armed and not partial to people messing with their cultural mores.

Management cannot be responsible for Subjects of The United Kingdom who come on posting fancy sounding non-rhyming verse and calling it poetry. We've had to put up with that Shakespeare guy for nigh 500 years and y'all are just making fun of us, ain'tcha?

In conclusion, I hereby fine you Q500 Quatloo under the Vogon Bad Poetry Act of 2004, as ammended et cetera...

[AnOwlCalledSage]

Moderators' note:

I was going to comment on the lack of Ass-onance, but I knew I could rely on a Mod for a more critical appraisal.

[exiledscouser]

I don't care for your fines! (Do you by any chance accept WeRe cheques? Or a Kindness Credit? I could pay you in hub caps as I seem to have one or two of them knocking about the place along with a huge stack of 2nd hand VHS recorders....)

Anyway, the UK has a fine tradition of crap poetry which neither scans or rhymes properly and I'm not about to kow-tow to unreasonable pressure from across the pond.

Following on from Mr. Thribb's contribution above, here's some doggrel bound to upset the colonials,

"The Lament of the PLD"

A sad and cautionary tale written in the style of the Great William McGonagall, Scotland's (and my own) favourite and finest bard, a rival even to John Lillison, England's greatest one-armed poet who wrote the timeless "In Dillman Grove" and who could forget "The Pointy Pointy Birds" but I digress - on with the gutter rhymes and the consequences be damned!

Beautiful beautiful Practical Lawful Dissent!
Alas! I am very sorry to say that your time is now spent
That Dreary Dave was sadly taken to living in a tent
On the 21st June two thousand and eighteen
Which will be remember'd for treason the like of which has seldom been seen.

’Twas in the year of 2018, and on the 21st of June,
The launching of a new name caused a great deal of gloom,
But treason will happen without any doubt,
And often the cause thereof is hard to find out
So remember that the stronger the branding of our Facebook web-group
The less chance we have of a treasonous backstabtrocious internal coup.

So I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay
That your central tenants would not have given way,
If only Dismal Dave had decided to stay,
And the name not be treasonously changed without warning to Denounce the Deception in the UK

[Siegfried Shrink]

It is tenets, not tenants, but otherwise so realitic I kept expecting the silv'ry River Tay to come into it somewhere.

[exiledscouser]

Being a bit Scottish I was thinking more of this

[AnOwlCalledSage]

Ah! Limericks. The poetry of the artistically challenged.

We know lawful dissent is a front
For chancers taking a punt
Dave thinks we're all dumb
But we know he is scum
And a completely worthless individual

Sorry… ran out of words to rhyme.

[Burnaby49]

That mockery of The Tay Bridge Disaster was just pathetic. If you want to get into the Quatloos Parody Poetry arena at least use a great work of art as your basis, not the easily mocked dregs of some fifth-rate hack. I can do no better as an example of the standards we expect than to cite the work of our ex-poster Hilfskreuzer Möwe's parody one of the 20th century's greatest poems, the theme to the Flintstones!

Yanksons!
Meet the Yanksons!
They spew their Moorish lunacy!
From some place in Ghana!
They’re partners in nutbaggery!
Both their Strawmen have died of neglect!
Admiralty judges they reject!
When you’re with the Yanksons,
have a nuncy nunc pro tunc time,
a nunc pro tunc time,
and convicted of your crime!

Or, by the same author reaching back to the 19th century for inspiration;

Bernieyanksonias!

by some banana freighter,
with inspiration by Percy Bysshe Shelley:

I met a lurker from the Quatloos website
Who said: a host of broken links
are in this forum. Near them, in this blight,
Half sunk, a shattered lawsuit lies, whose quotes,
Claim slavery, piracy, a sorrowful plight,
Tells that Justice Savage well those concepts wrote,
The lawsuit and Plaintiff, both dead alright:
And on the banner these words appear:
“My name is Bernieyanksonias, Moor of moors:
Look on my writs, ye Attorneys, and despair!”
Nothing remains. Though there are costs to pay
A colossal wreck, a vexation to all
These actions quiet, the tale fades to grey.

SMS Möwe

http://www.quatloos.com/Q-Forum/viewtop ... =48&t=9597

I'd suggested to Mowe that he use my favorite poem, 'Deck Us All With Boston Charlie' by Walt Kelly as a basis for one of his masterpieces;

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo!
Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don’t we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker ‘n’ too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloupe, ‘lope with you!
Hunky Dory’s pop is lolly,
Gaggin’ on the wagon, Willy, folly go through!
Chollie’s collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarm bung-a-loo!

Dunk us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an’ polly voo!
Chilly Filly’s name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly’s jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, woof, woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, goof, goof!

But, probably wisely, he declined. Perhaps he thought parodying a great work like that bordered on sacrilege.

[Tevildo]

Apologies for delurking in these circumstances, but the time has definitely come to invoke Kevin Turvey:

Dave!
Practical Lawful Dissent is in its grave, Dave!
Who else can now Magna Carta save, Dave?
Is it Chrisy Morris?
Or Johnson (Boris)?

[King Lud]

Kevin's 'ere.

[Gregg]

Y'all stop it, or I'll have you strapped into a poetry appreciation chair!

[Burnaby49]

Y'all stop it, or I'll have you strapped into a poetry appreciation chair!

Is that like the Comfy Chair but with a poetry recital by Angela Merkel?

[noblepa]

Y'all stop it, or I'll have you strapped into a poetry appreciation chair!

Is that like the Comfy Chair but with a poetry recital by Angela Merkel?

I think he was referring to the Vogon poetry appreciation chair.

•We start out this chapter learning about how dangerous poetry can be. Vogon poetry is the third worst and most dangerous. The second worst poetry—the Azagoth's poetry—could make people die of internal bleeding.
•The worst poetry in the galaxy is by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, who lived in Greenbridge, in Essex, in England, on Earth.
•So it's bad news for Arthur and Ford when Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz starts to read his poetry to them. Especially because they are strapped into "Poetry Appreciation Chairs" and have other devices hooked up to make sure they really get the poetry.
•Ford and Arthur suffer through the poetry—or as the British say, lorry flat lift.

[Gregg]

Yes, your grasp of H2G2 will serve you well on Quatloos.

I'll be watching you with Great Expectations.

[slowsmile]

In Canada did Meynard R
A freeman valley decree
Where rivers of free Moosehead ran
From tin cans bottemless, oh man
All paid by A4V

[Burnaby49]

Please, Menard, not Meynard.

[grixit]

So twice five miles of scattered trash
With unbanked piles of campfire ash
And there were vans and sheds and tents
Where ninja goats roamed happily
Where no law reigned and none paid rents
While they enjoyed their liberty.

[Gregg]

Much better.

[D-C]

Y'all stop it, or I'll have you strapped into a poetry appreciation chair!

Is that like the Comfy Chair but with a poetry recital by Angela Merkel?

I think he was referring to the Vogon poetry appreciation chair.

•We start out this chapter learning about how dangerous poetry can be. Vogon poetry is the third worst and most dangerous. The second worst poetry—the Azagoth's poetry—could make people die of internal bleeding.
•The worst poetry in the galaxy is by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, who lived in Greenbridge, in Essex, in England, on Earth.
•So it's bad news for Arthur and Ford when Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz starts to read his poetry to them. Especially because they are strapped into "Poetry Appreciation Chairs" and have other devices hooked up to make sure they really get the poetry.
•Ford and Arthur suffer through the poetry—or as the British say, lorry flat lift.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer.
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!
P

[Burnaby49]

Have you thought about acting as Heather's elbow counsel? You actually seem to have a chance at understanding her defense and filings.

[AnOwlCalledSage]

Have you thought about acting as Heather's elbow counsel?

This is the UK forum Burnaby49! What the former colonies get up to with their miscreants is their own business.

Although I suspect for a small fee we could burn their White House down again