Another Irregular Meeting of the Powers That Be in Quatloosia

[The Observer]

Another unannounced meeting between the Western Cabal and Illuminati Central Union Lodge #237 occurred when Burnaby49 graciously invited my wife and I into his home. A delightful luncheon was prepared by his lovely wife and Burnaby even allowed me to drink a beer that was below his high exacting standards. Of course, many matters were discussed in regards to the continuing suppression of sovruns and tax deniers everywhere. The meeting had to be suspended due to the imminent Illuminati operation to jam the local streets and highways with traffic, of which Burnaby kindly advised me, giving us a 30 minute window to escape.

But aware that this is, after all, a typical meeting with Burnaby, I shed my pants. Why? I simply followed the age-old advice of "when in Rome, do as the Romans do." A priceless picture is below, but guarded by the NSFW button for those who may not be able to handle risque portraits.

Of course an Illuminati meeting always has an underlying (and sinister) motive for happening in the first place. HQ had assigned me the task of dropping in and ensuring that Burnaby had not backslid on his duties. Rumors were reaching the upper echelons that given the sudden lack of court cases for him to report on, Burnaby was flirting with the ideal of inviting the Parasitic Parakeet, Belanger, into his home as a guest for the next 12 months, just to have more material to post here at Quatloos. I am happy to report that there is no truth to those rumors and that his domicile was free and clear of any riffraff.

[Burnaby49]

My wife and I invited Observer and his wife to our home to relax and revive after their perilous ocean journey across the Salish Sea and how are we repaid? With damn slanderous lies!!!

Burnaby even allowed me to drink a beer that was below his high exacting standards

That vile calumny is actionable!! Is he implying that I stock cheap swill for my guests while hoarding the real beers for myself? That I would have sub-standard beer in my house for any purpose? The beer I served him was carefully selected in light of circumstances and Observer's plans for the remainder of the day. The selection I had in my downstairs beer fridge was;

1- Octopus Apocalypse Squid Ink Stout by Bad Dog Brewing at Sooke, Vancouver Island. A very small craft brewery at the end of a long obscure road in the forest. My boozing companion and I actually drove there to get it and almost ran over the eponymous bad dog driving into their unpaved lot.
https://www.baddogbrewing.ca/

2 - Renfrew S.O.B Red Ale by Sooke Oceanside Brewery, also in Sooke.
http://www.sookeoceansidebrewery.com/

3 - 52foot Stout by Barkerville Brewing Co. in Quesnel British Columbia
https://barkervillebeer.com/

4 - Spire Mountain Dark and Dry Cider by Fish Tale Brewing Company in Olympia Washington.
https://www.fishbrewing.com/fish-tale-brewpub

5 & 6 - Beach Radler and High Point Gose, both by Strathcona Beer Company in Vancouver.
https://www.strathconabeer.com/

What to serve, what to serve? My choice was guided by two factors, it was a warm summer afternoon and Observer had a lot more miles to drive after lunch. Choices 1 to 4, while excellent brews, are relatively high alcohol which made them a poor choice for someone with driving ahead of them and choices 1 to 3 are a bit heavy to have with lunch in summer. But 5 & 6 were ideal choices as light summer afternoon beverages. Both were relatively light beers at 4% ABV, and both are refreshing fruit-based.

So how to chose between them? As an ex-boss of mine used to say "We're down to short strokes here". One of the few bosses I didn't like, he was too fond of jargon.

The Beach Radler is a mix of either Strathcona's lager or pilsner and fresh orange and lemon juice. Similar to a British shandy except that they use bottled or canned lemonade. As Strathcona describes the Radler "A precise blend of lemon peel, fresh mandarin juice and beer. A light, effervescent beer that is thirst quenching and easy to drink with a tart, clean finish."

The High Point Gose, while a favorite of mine, can be an acquired taste. Gose's are sour beers, quite tart, and currently a Vancouver craft brewery craze. The High Point is brewed with strawberries and rhubarb and is described by Strathcona as "a light sweet and salty summer ale with a tart finish with hints of coriander". I thought perhaps a bit too much for Observer, a lager drinker, so I decided to play it safe by offering the Radler.

I just got an entirely unexpected, and very unfortunate, vote of confidence in the Radler right while I was typing out this entry. My entire remaining stock was guzzled in moments in a feeding frenzy by my wife's rapacious women friends who are here for lunch.

And there's yet more!

Rumors were reaching the upper echelons that given the sudden lack of court cases for him to report on, Burnaby was flirting with the ideal of inviting the Parasitic Parakeet, Belanger, into his home as a guest for the next 12 months, just to have more material to post here at Quatloos. I am happy to report that there is no truth to those rumors and that his domicile was free and clear of any riffraff.

My domicile was "Free and clear of riffraff"? Another outright lie! I was there!

As for the sudden lack of court cases for me to report on be carful what you wish for, you're about to get it. I'm going nuclear. I'm almost ready to dump a 17,000 word monstrosity on Quatloos, a tidal wave of gibberish and legal insanity. I've spent much of the past week beating 23 pages of my almost indecipherable hieroglyphics in an 8X10 notebook into legible shape, my report on Michael Millar's conviction appeal hearing. I just obtained the last piece of evidence entered at the hearing but not, at that time, available to me, this morning. So I just need to incorporate it into my write-up and done. Should be today. Perhaps you'd best employ Burnaby49's time-tested reading regime and imbibe a few brews before tackling it. You have been warned.

[Burnaby49]

One of my wife's guests (76 years old) just said "Thanks for the Radlers, I enjoyed both of them." BOTH OF THEM? "Yes, they were so lovely I had two". Time for another visit to Strathcona Brewing.

[The Observer]

That vile calumny is actionable!! Is he implying that I stock cheap swill for my guests while hoarding the real beers for myself?

Certainly not; what I was implying that you would have certainly have picked another beer for yourself other than the Gose if I had not been there with my particular set of circumstances. I was also implying you were a considerate host in agreeing to not opt for a "bigger" beer in my presence.

Of course, you did have to get back at me for being insulted by my post:

One of my wife's guests (76 years old) just said "Thanks for the Radlers, I enjoyed both of them."

I wager even partially-attentive readers would catch the implication that I, Observer, can't even handle two of something a 76-year old lady could handle. This has to be the unkindest cut of all. I wish I had had the presence of mind to stop at your next-door 90-something neighbor and invited her over to take another whack at your ribs.

At least you did have the kindness to give me accurate directions so that I could pick up two cases of the Sleeman's Honey Lager. Those will be hoisted in your honor every time I finish mowing the lawn during the summer.

[Burnaby49]

Actually I wasn't being polite in matching your wimpy beer. The gose, like the radler, is generally what I chose when I have a mid-day alcoholic beverage. Anything stronger and I'm sleepy all afternoon. Given that I'm usually perilously close to falling into a nap at any moment during most of my waking hours a stronger beer would probably have tipped me over the edge.

If I buy lager I usually go with Steamworks, their brewery is just a short drive away, but Sleemans has a good lager too. Sleemans was one of Vancouver's original craft breweries however it was purchased by Sapporo Brewery in 2006 and production was greatly expanded. It's now a major and is the third largest brewer in Canada. But, given our population, that's a drop in the bucket compared to the production of your American behemoths.

[Gregg]

Another unannounced meeting between the Western Cabal and Illuminati Central Union Lodge #237 occurred when Burnaby49 graciously invited my wife and I into his home. A delightful luncheon was prepared by his lovely wife and Burnaby even allowed me to drink a beer that was below his high exacting standards. Of course, many matters were discussed in regards to the continuing suppression of sovruns and tax deniers everywhere. The meeting had to be suspended due to the imminent Illuminati operation to jam the local streets and highways with traffic, of which Burnaby kindly advised me, giving us a 30 minute window to escape.

But aware that this is, after all, a typical meeting with Burnaby, I shed my pants. Why? I simply followed the age-old advice of "when in Rome, do as the Romans do." A priceless picture is below, but guarded by the NSFW button for those who may not be able to handle risque portraits.

Of course an Illuminati meeting always has an underlying (and sinister) motive for happening in the first place. HQ had assigned me the task of dropping in and ensuring that Burnaby had not backslid on his duties. Rumors were reaching the upper echelons that given the sudden lack of court cases for him to report on, Burnaby was flirting with the ideal of inviting the Parasitic Parakeet, Belanger, into his home as a guest for the next 12 months, just to have more material to post here at Quatloos. I am happy to report that there is no truth to those rumors and that his domicile was free and clear of any riffraff.

Did you find any evidence of Molson's though?

If they don't have any Tree Frog Beer, from Brute Force Cybernetics Brewing, they don't have beer.

[Gregg]

First, you have to be a Cincinnati native to get a lot of these jokes....but Tree Frog Beer was the fictional Beer of the equally fictional Brute Force Cybernetics Company on the local radio station when I was a kid.
The station ran fake commercials, at first to fill up air time, and then later, when they became one of the bigger FM stations they kind of made the fake commercials a part of the act, every year they played them all day long in the just as fictional WEBN Annual Fools Day Parade, which became not so fictional when the little neighborhood where they had their studio started having an actual parade to make fun of the radio station that had been making fun of them for about 10 years. Then the Micorbrew thing kind of ruined the Tree Froog thing when there are dozens of real Tree Frog Beers all over the country now. None of them "Brewed from the bubbling waters of The Mill Creek" (think of the Cuyahoga River, on fire)

The Brute Force "label" was actually the recording arm of fictional corporation Brute Force Cybernetics (BFC), a division of WEBN 102.7 in Cincinnati, Ohio. WEBN ran self produced ads for imaginary, but imaginative, products such as the "portable hole" and Tree Frog Beer. (Doesn't taste like much, but it gets you there faster.) Beginning in 1976 the station, then a loud and proud free form album rock station, started the Album Project as a way to get Cincinnati's rock community aware of the fine local talent that was slogging away nightly in the city's live music watering holes, and to raise money for charity. The Album Project was an annual thing until 1984, when it inexplicably disappeared. It then just as inexplicably reappeared in 1986 and again in 1987 before disappearing for good. By that time WEBN was little more than another faceless corporate radio station with a potty humor morning show and a trend-driven playlist.

Anyhow, there are probably 25 Tree Frog Beer commercials, of which this is just one. If you're a fan of that kind of thing, I'd recommend you google Tree Frog Beer (or Bull Frog Bach) or just find the MP3 of a Fools Day Parade for a funny thing in a long car ride. Worth the effort.

[AndyK]

As an alternative, there's always Duffs.

[AnOwlCalledSage]

As an alternative, there's always Duffs.

I prefer Fudd, even if it will make me go blind.

[Burnaby49]

I prefer Fudd, even if it will make me go blind.

Is Fuddle Duck close enough?



It was actually a British Columbia beverage albeit a wine but, saving grace, brewed by a British Columbia beer legend, Uncle Ben Gingter. Uncle Ben started his own independent brewery in British Columbia, way up in the far north in fact in Prince George, in the 1960's. He failed of course but gave it as good a shot as anyone has until the craft brewery revolution hit us a decade or two ago. I used to buy his products;



Uncle Ben had an innovative solution to government mandated prices;

Ben would butt heads with the large breweries and the Alberta Liquor Commission because he wanted to set lower prices for his product. His solution was to tape a dime under every can. He also offered customers one share in his company if they sent in 12 Uncle Ben’s beer bottle caps.

And innovative names for his other fine products, Fuddle Duck wasn't a lonely aberration;

He also took note of popular beer titles in other jurisdictions and borrowed from those names, like, for example, selling a line of Paaps and of Budd (aping the established Pabst and Budweiser names advertising out of the U.S. but not widespread in Canada at the time).

But now, a shameful, shameful confession. In my ignorant youth I drank Molson products! Not that I had a choice, Molson and Labatts were all that were available. I was a pauper during my university days, just trying to end each academic year out of debt, so I went for cheap bang-for-the-bucks beer that delivered as much alcohol as possible at the lowest price. That was O'Keefe's Extra Old Stock.



O'Keefe's was a Molson's subsidiary. Different brand name, same swill. The one advantage it had over its competitors was a higher alcohol level, well over 6% when the norm was about 5.5%. As Observer found in his visit I've mellowed from those days and, on occasion, even dip down to 4%. If it doesn't do the job I can, in my retirement affluence, afford to have another one, or two, or three . . . . .

[The Observer]

Did you find any evidence of Molson's though?

No, but then again, I thought I saw a sign posted on Burnaby's walkway that said Molson drinkers entering the property should realize that they would disappear if they did not immediately leave.

[Burnaby49]

Did you find any evidence of Molson's though?

No, but then again, I thought I saw a sign posted on Burnaby's walkway that said Molson drinkers entering the property should realize that they would disappear if they did not immediately leave.

Actually, had Observer insisted, I could have served him a Molson's beer when he was here. I have one lone bottle of a Molson product in the house, the unfortunately named Sick's 6 Old Style Beer. Fritz Sick named his brewery after himself when he started it in Alberta in 1926.



However I doubt Observer would have enjoyed the experience even though he's a lager fan. Two reasons. First, it's been described as having an "acidic aquired taste", but, more importantly for Observer's imbibing enjoyment and continuing health, my unopened bottle was manufactured, at the latest, over 60 years ago before Molson bought out Sick Breweries in 1958 and started selling Old Style under its own label. It may possibly be a little bit past its "best before" shelf life.

Old Style Pilsner was first brewed in 1926 by Fritz Sick at his Sick's Breweries Ltd. in Lethbridge, Alberta. An acidic, acquired taste, the beer was and still is brewed after the formula of the House of Lethbridge, which can be seen in the top left hand side of the label. Sick's Breweries Ltd. grew in the early half of the 20th century to include breweries located throughout western Canada and the United States. In 1958, Sick's Breweries Ltd., along with the Old Style Pilsner Brand, was bought by Molson Inc.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Style_Pilsner

My bottle has a slightly different label than the one pictured. The pictured label shows the beer was brewed in Lethbridge Alberta. However at some time in the 1950's Sick's bought out Capilano Brewery Ltd. in Vancouver and started brewing it for the local market under that name. That's where my bottle originated. Surprisingly clear with a thin layer of sediment at the bottom. Maybe that acidic taste has mellowed somewhat as it's aged.

[Burnaby49]

Actually this label is a bit closer to mine since it has the red 6 in the yellow circle. However I can't find an exact match. Old Fritz was constantly fiddling with the label.

[eric]

Actually "Pil" is a fairly popular beer in Western Canada, particularly Saskatchewan. I would describe it as being an acquired taste but there is certainly enough of it sold here in Alberta a well. Still has the similar label to the first one above but minus the "house of Lethbridge" and the addition of appropriate Molson-Coors copyright info

[Burnaby49]

I'm guessing that Molson bought Fritz out in order to expand into western Canada, as Wikipedia says;

The company continued to develop and, in 1958, acquired six breweries, which included five establishments in Western Canada, giving Molson a nationwide presence.

But they retained the Old Style name and label because it was a very popular beer here in British Columbia and, according to eric, still sells well throughout western Canada. I used to occasionally drink it in the 60's and 70's.

Molson, as part of the Sick purchase, also acquired the Capilano Brewery located at 1550 Burrard Street in Vancouver. It operated as a brewery until 2016 when Molson sold the property for $185,000,000. The future use of the property is still uncertain.