(Key West) Betty the Chicken, late of Nottingham and relocated to Key West in 2015 under the alias "Original Recipe" was spotted recently being taken to a secret Federal Facility for unknown reasons. Betty, a UK subject (and a southern menu staple) was secretly brought to Key West under questionable circumstances, at the time the Federal Aviation Administration claimed it was her special knowledge of the principles of flight, until a reporter pointed out that chickens in general and Betty very specifically cannot actually fly.
Soon after Betty arrived on Key West, the only Conch Republic Kentucky Fried Chicken was closed and the controversial 'Key West Chicken Statute' was revived.
It is against the law in Key West to kill the local chickens. no joke this is a real law
Local folklore says the law dates back to voodoo practices involving the sacrifice of chickens. The chickens make Key West a unique place.
Our beat photographer was able to upload this photo of Betty in an unmarked Secret Federal uptonogooder car before agents jumped out, took his phone and beat him to senselessness with large Popeyes Chicken promotional items.
We will follow up on this story as information becomes available.
Supreme Commander of The Imperial Illuminati Air Force
Your concern is duly noted, filed, folded, stamped, sealed with wax and affixed with a thumbprint in red ink, forgotten, recalled, considered, reconsidered, appealed, denied and quietly ignored.
Supreme Commander of The Imperial Illuminati Air Force
Your concern is duly noted, filed, folded, stamped, sealed with wax and affixed with a thumbprint in red ink, forgotten, recalled, considered, reconsidered, appealed, denied and quietly ignored.
Fake news. The photo clearly shows that the chicken in the car is a rooster, the male of the species. Betty was and always has been identified as a cis hen.
The real truth is that Betty bought Fern Chase through a discreet chain of nominee purchasers and is quietly residing there.
"I could be dead wrong on this" - Irwin Schiff
"Do you realize I may even be delusional with respect to my income tax beliefs? " - Irwin Schiff
JULIAN: I recommend we try Per verulium ad camphorum actus injuria linctus est.
SANDY: That's your actual Latin.
HORNE: What does it mean?
JULIAN: I dunno - I got it off a bottle of horse rub, but it sounds good, doesn't it?
I refuse to learn enough Poultry Anatomy to properly address this questions.
Supreme Commander of The Imperial Illuminati Air Force
Your concern is duly noted, filed, folded, stamped, sealed with wax and affixed with a thumbprint in red ink, forgotten, recalled, considered, reconsidered, appealed, denied and quietly ignored.
Not just voodoo, there's a lot of santeria in FL as well. About 20 years ago i read an article about dead chickens being found in Miami regularly. This was said to be from attempts to curse Castro.
grixit wrote: ↑Mon Jun 15, 2020 1:36 am
Not just voodoo, there's a lot of santeria in FL as well. About 20 years ago i read an article about dead chickens being found in Miami regularly. This was said to be from attempts to curse Castro.
The whole chicken, as well as other animals, thing is a big part of Santeria, and there are a lot of practitioners in the Miami-Dade area, so really no big surprise.
The fact that you sincerely and wholeheartedly believe that the “Law of Gravity” is unconstitutional and a violation of your sovereign rights, does not absolve you of adherence to it.
