Join the Illuminati! See the World!

[morrand]

I thought we'd covered this before, and eric posted something about it a couple of years ago, but you can imagine what searching for the relevant thread is like if there even is one.

Posted recently to another message board I haunt:

PLEASE READ HOW TO JOIN THE ILLUMINATI ORGANIZATION TO BECOME RICH AND FAMOUS IN THE USA, CANADA, AUSTRALIA, UK, GERMANY AND SPAIN VIA WHATSAPP: +1 (659) 217-9341
Are you a Businessman/Woman, Politician, Musician, Unemployed, Pastor, Truck Driver, Teacher, Farmer, Talented, Actor, Banker?
Do you need financial help? Or a free Visa to the United States?
Do you want to become rich, powerful, famous, protected and connected? Join the Illuminati today. If you are interested in becoming a member of the (Illuminati Organization) to gain wealth, fame and power.

Here is a golden opportunity and chance to join the Illuminati (New World Order). Note: Newly recruited members are entitled to ($2,500,000.00) immediately after their induction. And a golden magic ring that will protect you from enemies and help you. And many other benefits await you. Email us at: (info.illuminatiauthorities [at] gmail.com) Call/WhatsApp: +1 (659) 217-9341

New members joining the “Illuminati Organization” are offered the following benefits:
1. Cash prize of $2,500,000.00
2. A new fancy dream car worth $350,000
3. A dream house in a country of your choice
4. One year golf membership package
5. VIP treatment at all airports worldwide
6. Access to Bohemian Grove
7. One month reserved appointment with the top 5 heads of state and top 5 celebrities in the world.

I would like to take this opportunity to advise those who have been scammed by fake agents before, not to give up. The Illuminati organization is real if you know the right people. All the Illuminati Brotherhood asks of you is loyalty.
You must do what you are going to do so that the Grand Master of the Illuminati will grant you all his wishes. If you are interested in joining ILLUMINATI and are over 18 years old, email us at: (info.illuminatiauthorities [at] gmail.com)
[signed]
Illuminati Organization - [newmemberbenefits at gmail dot com]

So, point #1, this is still going on. Point #2, no, seriously, like, a lot: the other board got two of these things (signed with two different email addresses, otherwise identical) within a span of 14 hours.

I'll admit to a certain mystery as to how the "one year golf membership package" got in there, which sounds more like a timeshare perk, but I guess with a magic golden ring you could probably get your score down pretty low in one year. No word on the dental plan, though (that's a joke I'm honor-bound to the other board to make, sorry).

[AnOwlCalledSage]

When the Illuminati Official find out they are going to be angry!

https://www.illuminatiofficial.org/join ... nati/join/

[Burnaby49]

I thought this was supposed to be an elite all-powerful secret society working behind the scenes manipulating governments to advance an evil apocalyptic agenda. Now they have to replenish the ranks with any worthless nose-picker with a few bucks to join up? This is just a sad, shabby ending to what was once an invincible force behind all of humanity's catastrophes.

[wserra]

This is just a sad, shabby ending to what was once an invincible force behind all of humanity's catastrophes.

That's exactly what we want you to think.

[Pottapaug1938]

If you think that you can apply to join the Illuminati, you will never become one of us. WE will find you, and inform you of your selection.

[Burnaby49]

Don't bother sending me an invite. I'm too old to memorize all the arcane rituals and the orgies with virgin interns no longer interest me.

[Pottapaug1938]

I'm like an old firehouse dog -- too old to jump onto a fire truck when an alarm sounds, but still able to run around the firehouse, barking my head off....