Ed Brown Makes the News

[Bud Dickman]

I like the comments section

http://www.unionleader.com/article.aspx ... 903f14022f

[Doktor Avalanche]

It's that goddamn "Live Free Or Die" motto. They need to change it.

[Imalawman]

It's that goddamn "Live Free Or Die" motto. They need to change it.

I have an idea or two:

1. Get off my lawn

2. We're not Vermont

3. Good to visit but better to leave.

Fixed...

[webhick]

"New Hampshire. I spent a year there one weekend." - Det. Lennie Briscoe, Law & Order

[Mr. Mephistopheles]

"New Hampshire. I spent a year there one weekend." - Det. Lennie Briscoe, Law & Order

Lennie was the best. RIP.

[webhick]

All those freaks moving to NH don't seem to realize that the state is the largest breeding ground in the country for shape-shifting lizards. What do these people think we're feeding those lizards? Taxpayers? HA! Tax Protesters are their favorite food!

[Famspear]

All those freaks moving to NH don't seem to realize that the state is the largest breeding ground in the country for shape-shifting lizards. What do these people think we're feeding those lizards? Taxpayers? HA! Tax Protesters are their favorite food!

I wonder whether shape shifting lizards would like to use some sort of condiments when munching on tax protesters. I would think just eating tax protesters without special sauce, for example, would be - I don't know - wouldn't tax protesters taste kinda sour without condiments?

But I'm just basing this assumption on my interactions with tax protesters on the internet; I've never eaten one.

[Famspear]

Also -- and I'm just curious you know -- are the female tax protesters any sweeter than the males? I'm definitely not interesting in any males.

Uh, I mean, I'm not interested in the females either, though.

Cause I'm not one of those shape shifting lizards.

Those nasty rumours.......

[webhick]

I wonder whether shape shifting lizards would like to use some sort of condiments when munching on tax protesters. I would think just eating tax protesters without special sauce, for example, would be - I don't know - wouldn't tax protesters taste kinda sour without condiments?

As described by the lizards, tax protesters are quite delicious on their own. The meat has a rich marbling which we suspect is due to the long hours of sitting on their ass "researching" the law, posting to internet forums, and constantly having their ego stroked by other livestock.

Now, while the Illuminati doesn't condone cannibalism, we have deported some of the more annoying tax potesters to areas populated by cannibals. In return, we received a simple message:

"No send more. Bitter. Fatty. Run slow. No fun."

[webhick]

Also -- and I'm just curious you know -- are the female tax protesters any sweeter than the males? I'm definitely not interesting in any males.

Uh, I mean, I'm not interested in the females either, though.

Cause I'm not one of those shape shifting lizards.

Those nasty rumours.......

If you were a lizard, you would already know the answer to those questions.

[Famspear]

I wonder whether shape shifting lizards would like to use some sort of condiments when munching on tax protesters. I would think just eating tax protesters without special sauce, for example, would be - I don't know - wouldn't tax protesters taste kinda sour without condiments?

As described by the lizards, tax protesters are quite delicious on their own. The meat has a rich marbling which we suspect is due to the long hours of sitting on their ass "researching" the law, posting to internet forums, and constantly having their ego stroked by other livestock.
[ . . .]

Boy, what happens to the tax protesters that never get eaten (which presumably is still most of 'em)? I'm thinkin' of people like Irwin Schiff and Eddie Ray Kahn and Edward Lewis Full Colon Brown, rotting in jail for years and years. When all that meat spoils -- which it will do eventually ---

----eeewwwwwww what a smell!

I don't even wanna think about what Danny Dog Walker would smell like after a few years in prison.....

[Mr. Mephistopheles]

Boy, what happens to the tax protesters that never get eaten (which presumably is still most of 'em)? I'm thinkin' of people like Irwin Schiff and Eddie Ray Kahn and Edward Lewis Full Colon Brown, rotting in jail for years and years. When all that meat spoils -- which it will do eventually ---

----eeewwwwwww what a smell!

I don't even wanna think about what Danny Dog Walker would smell like after a few years in prison.....

Where do you think Spam comes from?

[Famspear]

Boy, what happens to the tax protesters that never get eaten (which presumably is still most of 'em)? I'm thinkin' of people like Irwin Schiff and Eddie Ray Kahn and Edward Lewis Full Colon Brown, rotting in jail for years and years. When all that meat spoils -- which it will do eventually ---

----eeewwwwwww what a smell!

I don't even wanna think about what Danny Dog Walker would smell like after a few years in prison.....

Where do you think Spam comes from?

roulant sur le plancher de rire!

[Judge Roy Bean]

....

Where do you think Spam [sic] comes from?

Austin, Minnesota. And we just missed SPAM jam!!!

Actually, run it through the food processor with some shallots (or scallions), mayo and chinese hot mustard (or mustard with horseradish), plenty of fresh-cracked black pepper and spread it on crackers. Just tell everyone it's ham.

[Mr. Mephistopheles]

....

Where do you think Spam [sic] comes from?

Austin, Minnesota. And we just missed SPAM jam!!!

Actually, run it through the food processor with some shallots (or scallions), mayo and chinese hot mustard (or mustard with horseradish), plenty of fresh-cracked black pepper and spread it on crackers. Just tell everyone it's ham.

I cannot believe I misspelled SPAM (hangs head in shame).

That recipe doesn't sound too bad. Fried SPAM is pretty good too. It was standard fare when we camped out as kids. It sure tasted good fried in a pan over a campfire. Not brook trout by any means, but pretty darn good.

[grixit]

I hear it's the national meat of Hawaii.

[Mr. Mephistopheles]

I hear it's the national meat of Hawaii.

Cap'n commented recently about SPAM sushi rolls in Hawaii. <shrugging>

[Kimokeo]

Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife: I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!


Had to do it.

[Leftcoaster]

No. You didn't.

But I'm glad you did.

[Demosthenes]

Hmmmm.

Famspear

Spamfear

More than coincidence?