Elaine's new prison roommate

[Demosthenes]

Fri, Jun. 18, 2004
Peace activist pleads guilty to vandalism and threats
By MARK MORRIS
The Kansas City Star

A peace activist who has spent 20 years in prison pleaded guilty in Kansas City today to vandalism and threatening federal judges and Air Force personnel.

Helen Woodson, 60, was detained by deputy U.S. marshals on March 10 after she threw a mixture of red paint and cranberry juice, which resembled blood, on a security desk and screening device at the U.S. District Courthouse.

The day before she had mailed threatening letters to the judges and the commander of Whiteman AFB Base in Knob Noster. She followed those the next morning with similar letters entitled "Second Warning." And before coming to the courthouse March 10, she called a
courthouse employee, who remembered her saying, "This is a warning, there is a weapon of mass destruction in your office, get out now!" At her hearing today, Woodson recalled the statement differently.

"I said, 'This is a warning. There is a weapon of mass destruction in your building. Choose life,'" Woodson recalled. Woodson and three others received long prison sentences in 1985 for using a jackhammer to chip the concrete lid of a nuclear missile silo near Whiteman AFB. The four identified themselves as the Silo Pruning Hooks, in reference to the Biblical admonition to beat swords into plowshares and spears into pruning hooks.

Three days after her parole in 1993, Woodson walked into a Illinois bank and used an unloaded starter pistol to get $25,000 from a teller.

According to press reports, she then piled the money on the floor, burned it and told witnesses: "Money is evil. You don't believe in God; you only worship money."

She subsequently was convicted of bank robbery and other violations and was sentenced to more than nine years in prison. After her release March 9, she had been instructed to return to Kansas City and meet with a probation officer to review the terms of her probation.

"I will never abide by the terms of supervised release," Woodson said.

Her lawyer, Henry Stoever, said Woodson considers herself a "soldier for peace," and deeply opposes nuclear weapons and abortion.

Woodson's moral convictions were reflected in her answers to questions posed by Chief U.S. District Judge Dean Whipple. Asked what she considers to be her home, Woodson replied: "Right now, I live in this courtroom. I live wherever God takes me."

She also asked Whipple to sentence her quickly so she can return to prison, which has been her home for all but five days of the last two decades.

"I don't believe in the court process because of my religious beliefs and don't wish to participate in it," Woodson said. "Therefore, a speedy resolution is good for me."

Stoever described Woodson's commitment to peace protests as a "witness."

"She doesn't worry about whether it's effective or not," Stoever said. "She just believes she needs to do this."

[RyanMcC]

Amazing.

I can only guess that she prefers prison to life on the outside. It's a bit concerning she was able to get that close to a nuclear missle silo.

[webhick]

Helen Woodson, 60, was detained by deputy U.S. marshals on March 10 after she threw a mixture of red paint and cranberry juice, which resembled blood, on a security desk and screening device at the U.S. District Courthouse.

Good thing it wasn't paint, cranberry juice, and Zima. That would have given them cause to shoot her on sight.

And before coming to the courthouse March 10, she called a
courthouse employee, who remembered her saying, "This is a warning, there is a weapon of mass destruction in your office, get out now!"

That was kind of her to tell them that Microsoft was releasing another service pack.

Woodson and three others received long prison sentences in 1985 for using a jackhammer to chip the concrete lid of a nuclear missile silo near Whiteman AFB.

I bet that's the same method she uses to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

Three days after her parole in 1993, Woodson walked into a Illinois bank and used an unloaded starter pistol to get $25,000 from a teller.

Pfft. No ambition.

According to press reports, she then piled the money on the floor, burned it and told witnesses: "Money is evil. You don't believe in God; you only worship money."

My god can buy your god. Except when he's on fire.

All in all, I don't think it's a good idea for her and Elaine to even meet, much less spend any large quantities of time together. They're equally crazy, but completely different brands. They might be contagious and catch each other's crazy. They might spend their time stitching themselves together to create a super God Warrior - - - FrankenHellaine! Marshmallows would explode, the earth's polarity would reverse, and there would be keyboard genocide.

Powers that be, I beg you! Think of the keyboards!

[VanMeters Revenge]

its to see if elaine will feel comfortable enough to talk or relate to this lady, to see what kind of info she may divulge before she is brought before the court again.

[Nikki]

VMR:

Do you honestly believe that someone so clearly opposed to all things governmental will assist in making Elaine lean towards cooperation with the government?

Ms. Woodson has long since passed the point of being able to function in civilized society. She, by her own words and actions, prefers -- perhaps needs -- life in prison.

If anything, she will turn Elaine even farther toward the Koolaid cesspool.

[VanMeters Revenge]

while she may not be cooperating with the system, you put two elderly ladies in a room together they are gonna bond and chit chat, thats just natural. Im sure there is nothing but pure intention just to see what is said.

[Demosthenes]

I doubt the government needs information from Elaine at this point. When the weapons and explosives charges come down, the DOJ has ample (and extremely damning) ammunition from Elaine and Ed's radio show.

[Nikki]

All things considered, a lengthy conversation between the two ladies might provide more information supporting Elaine's innocence-via-brainwashing than anything to the contrary.

[Judge Roy Bean]

Yes there will be chit chat between "old ladies," but it will be chit chat between criminals who happen to be delusional old ladies. In this kind of thing, 1+1 could equal anything from 0 to 100 in terms of reinforcement of the delusions if they find one they can share, and it appears they will be symbiotic.

Phrases like "you know you're right" and "I always thought so" will rank among the most used if they do decide to actually commiserate.

[grixit]

I didn't know Squeaky Fromme had a twin!

[Famspear]

I didn't know Squeaky Fromme had a twin!

Hey, if you know who Squeaky Fromme is, you are probably showing your age!

Oops, I'm showing my age, too!

[Demosthenes]

Just did the math. If Elaine had accepted the deal offered to her at the end of her criminal trial, she'd be free 13 months from now. Now, she'll likely never live anywhere but a prison cell for the rest of her life.

Everything Ed Brown touches turns to dirt.

[webhick]

Everything Ed Brown touches turns to dirt.

I was thinking of a different term from within the same color palette.

[Doktor Avalanche]

I didn't know Squeaky Fromme had a twin!

Hey, if you know who Squeaky Fromme is, you are probably showing your age!

Oops, I'm showing my age, too!

Ditto - Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme to be more accurate

I remember her - even though I was six at the time. The crazy lady who tried to shoot Ford.
Even though she's been eligible for parole since 1985 she steadfastly refuses it. Don't think she's ever getting out.

Heard she was learning secretarial skills in prison. Oh yes, I can just see someone handing her a letter opener:

"Here, Lynette - open the mail."

"You're a male..."

<insert theme from Psycho>

Then there was Sara Jane Moore - the other crazy lady who tried to assasinate Ford seventeen days later after Squeaky. They finally let her out at the ripe old age of 77, just last year.

[Demosthenes]

Even though I was young, I remember Fromme and the Manson stories vividly. I grew up in old Topanga Canyon, about two miles from where Hinman (the first Manson victim) was killed. It was the late 60s, and my sister was an extremely rebelious teen at the time, and our mom was concerned that she might be drawn into a cult such as Manson's. Manson and his early followers lived in Topanga Canyon before moving to Spahn Ranch so it was a real possibility.

Topanga was an interesting place to be in the 60s and 70s. A mix of biker gangs, hippies, actors, recluses, artists, and horse people. I grew up thinking that hanging out with and listening to Arlo Guthrie sing was a normal thing. If you ever saw the TV show MASH, you saw the hills where I lived in the opening sequence. It's probably burned to a crisp a couple of times since I was there.

[Doktor Avalanche]

Speaking of MASH, I always marvelled at how much South Korea looked nothing like Southern California.

[Demosthenes]

When I was an older kid, you could wander all around the MASH set when they weren't filming. There were jeeps, the ambulance, all the tents and buildings from the show, and nobody cared if you poked around. I heard the set burned down in one of the big fires after I'd left for college, but as a teenager, it was fun to explore.

Planet of the Apes had been filmed on Fox Ranch too, but it was before I was mobile enough (by horse) to go watch.

I may have been dirt poor growing up, but damn, I had fun.

[Demosthenes]

If your family could afford a horse, you weren't dirt poor.

Utter nonsense, of course. We inherited the horse when a neighbor died.

[ASITStands]

Probably it was called "grass." Believe it or not, it does grow in California.

[jkeeb]

Probably it was called "grass." Believe it or not, it does grow in California.

Yeah, but the Narc's keep destroying it.