More Really Dumb Phishers

[wserra]

My office received the following message (complete with misspellings and grammatical errors) yesterday through our web site:

Brief description of your legal issue:

Attn:

I willl like to have a very confidential communication with an attorney in your chambers who can handle confidential case of Dept owing from a bussiness client of mine in NY. I am writting from Vernon, FL ,My personal assistance advised I get in contact with a law firm to assist me on this matter.

Thanks in anticipation

Leonard Spires Jeter

On a hunch, I googled the name. It appears that poor Mr. Jeter and his family were killed in a terrible car accident on the "Sagamu/Lagos Express Road" some six years ago. Out of sympathy, I replied:

Dear Mr. Jeter:

Thank you for contacting us. I must ask, though, whether you are the same Leonard Spires Jeter who was killed along with his entire family on the Sagamu/Lagos Express Road on April 21, 2003.

You seem remarkably well for someone six years dead.

Very truly yours,

I mean, what else could I do, right?

[wserra]

OK, some help here.

To my surprise, I got in from court this morning to find a reply email from the long-dead Mr. Jeter:

hahahahahah this is unbeliveable. i do pray for this day to met a smart lawyer,can we know some few about each other and buttom line.we can make good $ together
i cant wait to hear from u

Obviously an educated and sophisticated corpse.

Suggestions for a reply?

[Mr. Mephistopheles]

Send him a trojan horse.

I've been getting quite a few phishing e-mails sent to our generic website address lately. I'm not sure what the scam is but they contain the usual spelling and grammatical errors, and all claim to want to order a piece of equipment and pay with a credit card. They just don't appear to be legitimate inquiries. Just this morning I received one from some guy claiming to be with a national hardware store chain. Google street view shows an Asian take-out, tanning parlor, and a dentist office but hardware store.

[webhick]

OK, some help here.

To my surprise, I got in from court this morning to find a reply email from the long-dead Mr. Jeter:

hahahahahah this is unbeliveable. i do pray for this day to met a smart lawyer,can we know some few about each other and buttom line.we can make good $ together
i cant wait to hear from u

Obviously an educated and sophisticated corpse.

Suggestions for a reply?

hahahhehehhhohoho ya is unbeleevble. me all ways went to met smart gy hoo kan rekoniz smrt law-yer. beter if smart gie kant yoos speel chek or rite inglish gud. all ways want to go in to bizness wit smart gy wit less then 2 brane cells. is smart bizness moov.

is mi dreem to wurk wit smart gie who dyed six yeers a-go. mmmm BRANES! kant pin bad krime on ded guy! like to c them trie!

[Nikki]

Inform him that you've accepted him as a client, have opened an account, that he's accumulated five hours of billable time, and request a retainer to cover that time and any future work.

You won't even get a response.

[wserra]

Sorry, Nikki, but webhick wrote one of the funniest things I've ever read. My only fear is that this guy won't be able to read it.

Ill lit yu no.

[wserra]

OK, seeking help again. I used webhick's exact response to this guy, and figured I'd heard the last from him. But no - on returning from court this morning, the following was in my inbox:

can we make more sense and talk business
can we chat on yahoo sometimes. please holla back. I have great stuffs on my head that i would like to discuss with ou,by the way are u a nigerian,how do u know such places

The reference in the last sentence is to the google search that revealed the death of my correspondent and his entire family on a road outside Lagos.

Got a live one here, folks, who obviously isn't doing much googling himself.

[LaVidaRoja]

Now use Nikki's response. You might want to contort the spelling though.