Attention, Members of the FreeMoney Program

[Deep Knight]

Wendy and Casper got it wrong, it wasn't the "Freedom" program, it was the "FreeMoney" program that's getting funded first. It's not the first time someone has heard Tim "Mumbles" Geithner incorrectly. But don't worry, Deep Knight has the straight poop, unlike Casper and Wendy who only have ordinary poop to offer.

First of all, a little FreeMoney history. Started by visionary Harold "Harry" Harrison in 1992, it's "investors" were promised a 52:1 yield in 26 weeks for investments of $100 or more. Unfortunately, the Bush-Clinton-Bush-Obama-Rothschild-Hogwallop conspiracy kept the scheduled deliveries from happening in late 1992, early 1993, mid 1993, late 1993 and beyond (for a while, deliveries were being scheduled every week). Then there was the famous show trial where the liberal fascist police tried to claim he had spent it on more cocaine than a normal human and a dozen Vegas showgirls could consume over that period and live, but it was actually invested in a lucrative super-roller program that continuously rolled investments, even before they matured. Then, once they had matured, they were rolled over twice at the same time, doubling the returns in half the time. Since these stalwart investors got jerked around so much, FreeMoney has been unanimously selected to fund first.

Wendy was right about the phone call and trip to the airport, but totally wrong on the details. First of all, the phone call will be coded. Someone will call asking you to "donate" "money" or "used clothing" for some worthy cause. If you hear these code words, respond with, "The Aardvark sails at midnight." The caller will fully acknowledge your response by responding with "What?"

Run as fast as you can to your car, or call a cab, and drive at maximum speed to the nearest international airport. While driving, take a 4" square of paper and a dark marking pen (which you should keep in your car at all times) and write "Give Me the Money" on the paper. When you arrive at the airport, leave your car parked in the passenger dropoff area (often the "white zone" which is for loading and unloading only, in more liberal areas of the country the "red zone") and run to the passenger security area. When they ask you for your boarding pass and ID, simply give the TSA official the paper and tell them "I'm in The Program."

From there you will be escorted to an even more secure area (don't be alarmed if they treat you rudely, it's all a cover for any Illuminati who might be watching) where you will get what's coming to you. Heavily armed guards will help wheel your pallets of $10,000 bills to your car and shoot anyone who tries to rob you in the actual airport, but once you're in your car, you're on your own. So, for heavens sake, don't blab to anyone! In fact, make it seem like nothing is happening, and then when you don't hear anything about it, you'll know it's true!

Anyway, I'll keep you updated on what's happening, even though I can't tell you any details like something that could be confirmed, but that's the nature of the dangerous game I'm playing. Remember, if it wasn't for people like me none of you would have ever seen a dollar! In fact, you should show your faith by rewarding me with all your available cash, after all, you'll be using $100 bills for toilet paper in a few days anyway.

Deep Knight

[texino]

Harry Harrison? Hmmm, this wouldn't have anything to do with the Stainless Steel Rat, would it?

[Doktor Avalanche]

Harry Harrison? Hmmm, this wouldn't have anything to do with the Stainless Steel Rat, would it?

[Deep Knight]

Who knew? I got the name from a obit in the local newspaper a couple of months back where my wife commented on the nickname. I don't believe this was the author (especially since he's not dead and it's not his real name anyway).

Strange as it sounds, I've run across him before (but didn't remember his name, just the general gist of the name & plot of one of his books). While in college I took an English course named "Literature, Themes & Types, Fathers and Sons" from a professor who wrote his PhD thesis on this subject. We each were assigned a book and had to do a project on it, mine was "Starship Troopers" by Heinlein. My project was a short parody that used all the Father-Sons themes we had studied, which I titled "Starship Groupies." It was well received by my professor, who told me about a book named "Bill the Galactic Hero" that was also a parody of Starship Troopers, but I never read it (or, for that matter, heard of it again). Looking at a bio of Harrison, I realized that this was it.

Any of you ever read this book? Worth my getting a copy of? I understand that like me, the author used baking soda and vinegar to fuel his starships.

[Deep Knight]

Update on FreeMoney Deliveries

WE haven’t had a single confirmation of deliveries yet, which is proof positive they’ve been taking place. Think about it, if you just got a few $billion delivered to your front door would you tell a reprobate like Deep Knight? Of course you wouldn’t, especially after hearing what happened to the late Alvin McChumpski of Stinkwater OR when he e-mailed me about his windfall in late ’04. So, the lack of news tells us the true story once more.

WE expect hearing about deliveries momentarily, especially through our contacts in the sex worker industry. And believe me, Deep Knight knows the ins and outs of this business intimately, especially after that sudden infusion of cash in late ’04. Of course, the Obama-Bush-Clinton-Bush-Capone crime family will do anything to keep us from getting our $billions, but one of these days they just gotta make a mistake and then, bam, we’re in! Which, not coincidently, is the same strategy Deep Knight used as a teenager to become the legendary ladies man he is today!

[Deep Knight]

WE are close, so close that if the FreeMoney deliveries had eaten a couple of bean burritos for lunch, we’d have to open a window and turn on a fan. But, you say to yourself, people like Dove, Bellringer, A&A and Casper have been telling us this for years and we’ve seen exactly zero. Why is it different this time?

Why indeed. It’s different this time because Deep Knight says it is! And besides, we have all these confirmations.

First of all, a confirmation that FreeMoney means free money! From the highly-trusted source, Business Week! http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/0001/sa000111.htm

These people have even put it on the TV, which means it HAS to be true! Also, confirmation that “20 million people” will get deliveries! http://www.freemoney.com/internet_money.html

These people have an unbeatable way to make money, on-line gambling! It would be a gamble, but they have a “method” that NEVER FAILS! That is, it didn’t fail until I lost all of my money, but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t confirm the FreeMoney deliveries, doesn't it!
http://www.easyfreeincome.com/?gclid=CJ ... DQod3j-NCA

[Doktor Avalanche]

There was a delivery van that pulled up in front of my house the other day.

But they had the wrong house.