Tax Protester's Blues

[Famspear]

From: Famspear

A writer in another thread recently, I don't remember where, used the phrase "I hear the train a-comin'" or words something like that. It gave me an idea (with apologies to the late and great Johnny Cash):

(fade in, to sounds of raucous applause, hoots and hollers of prisoners in a prison yard, somewhere the good ole USA, and now we can hear the guitars fading in . . . . )

Tax Protester Blues
(sung to the tune of
"Folsom Prison Blues," by Johnny Cash)

I hear the train a-comin',
It's rollin' 'round the bend.
And I ain't filed a tax return since I don't know when.
I'm stuck in Fed'ral prison,
And time keeps draggin' on.
Yes, I cheated on my taxes,
And I now my freedom's gone.

When I was just a baby,
My mamma told me, Son --
Always pay your taxes,
And don't act quite so dumb!
But you know that I'm a chis'ler --
I cheat - I want things free.
When I tried to duck my taxes,
The tax man cornered me.

I bet there's honest people
In a fancy dinin' car.
They're prob'bly drinking coffee,
And going very far,
Yes, I know I had it comin' --
I know I can't be free.
But, I had to pay my taxes,
And that's what tortures me.

If they freed me from this prison,
If that railroad train was mine,
I would not learn my lesson, yes I cheat 'most all the time.
I am just a tax pro-tes-ter --
You know I have to cheat.
Yes, they made me pay my taxes,
And that's what tortures me.

[webhick]

An absolute work of art, that is. Would love to hear someone with musical experience on this board record that version.

[grixit]

Actually, when i saw the title, i thought of a different song.


There's trouble on the ground tonight
I can feel it in my bones
I had a premonition
That he should not go alone
I knew the feds were out there
They were creeping like a fog
They zapped my brave supporter
And they scared my faithful dog

So sovereign here's your calling
Time to make a stand
Here's a silly V mask
Now do it just the way we planned
You keep sending those donations
And we'll free the motherland!

I'm sorry that you lost your job
But we have to make the news
It just proves how big the lie is
It's the TP Blues

The libbies and the sight drafts
The jurats and the Code
The pure trusts and the offshores
And maintaining an abode
Don't matter if it's UCC,
Includes, or cracks
You always will discover
That you never owe a tax!

There's a lot of shaky premises
Lots of dirty deals
Every scheme is guaranteed
And everybody squeals
It's the lure of sleazy gurus
snapping up those easy meals

Perhaps you'd understand it better
With a few more round of booze
It's the fricken tard fly paper
It's the TP Blues

TP Blues...

You read it in the journals
A new case every day
You think there's no more suckers
But there's plenty on the way
They're ranting on the web sites
Quoting from John Jay
They're hunkered in New Hampshire
They think they'll get their way

They're hiding lots of FRNs
Hinting about jews
You ask any DOJ
They'll say there's nothing we can do
From the psychiatric office
Right on down here to Quatloos!

It's a losing proposition
But one they can't refuse
It's the cult of self delusion
It's the TP Blues

[Doktor Avalanche]

An absolute work of art, that is. Would love to hear someone with musical experience on this board record that version.

I'll get to work on it.