this weeks dumber than dirt contestant wrote:Not legal advice. They want to find out where you keep your money. I would never provide any of that info, Unless it is under a court order...obviously this is not a court order. Ever heard of Miranda rights? The 5th Amendment to the Constitution? No one can be compelled to bear witness against himself.
Sparky, set down, cool off, let the erection calm down....
now, all better?
You're not being compelled to anything. You are asking the government to stop a second, listen to you and you objections, perhaps work out a payment plan, BEFORE THEY START TAKING EVERYTHING YOU OWN, GARNISHING YOUR PAYCHECK AND SELLING YOUR POSSESSIONS ON THE STEPS OF THE COURTHOUSE. There is a process, where you can ask them to talk about ripping all your material possessions away from you, which at this point they do certainly have the right to do. CDPH is to stop a sec, check to make sure no one missed anything, perhaps a tax protester has come to his senses and in those and other situations the IRS will work with you. But before they do, you have to play by their rules, fill out their forms and give them the information they request. But still, this process is on YOU, SPARKY, initiated, and partly because, as bad as these cards are, you dealt them to yourself, they're the best you got. You're not going to win and go do the happy dance around the federal building when its over, if it goes well for you, you're still gonna sneak out the side door, slightly hunched over, fresh welts from the odd pimp slapping you got from the Judge still stinging, but, if you set down, shut up, smile when appropriate and don't go all sov'run on them, they'll work out a payment plan that will allow you to eat gruel 6 days a week, take the bus to a job where YOU WILL LET THEM WITHHOLD FROM A PROPERLY FILLED OUT W2 and take whatever the percentage they levy these days, until you are square with the man. Suck up a little you might get them to forego some penalties, but the underlying tax you have to pay, can't help you there. But this is something that YOU asked for, to KEEP THEM FROM (contnent to graphic for this audience, use yer imagination) you, your family, your pets and sodomizing the mouse in your garage you don't even know about. You don't have to give them jack, you can go in and refuse to provide information, refuse to cooperate jump up on the desk dressed as a transvestite pirate with a peg leg and a hook hand screaming "power to the people" if you want, it's your show, you filed the papers to have it. But if you don't provide them with the stuff they want, you can't do it in person. Dems da rules.
And you're gonna lose anyway, unless you go in, be respectful, bring all the records and say you can't afford the amount they want to garnish, really need some of what they levied from the bank and even askl they take the lien off the house while you go work on a HELOC to pay them. Tell them your story about why you can't really go five years with only $109 every two weeks, and maybe get that reset to 7 years at $300, and send them any bonus you may get, etc....
That's the upside. Think about the name "Collection Due Process Hearing" Where you can (if, and only if you never had a chance before) say you don't owe the tax, and that part of the hearing lasts about 90 seconds while you explain enough to lose your case but if you're lucky the Judge will cut you off before you get sanctioned for criminal stupidity. The rest of the hearing, and the only part of most of them, is to choose between the IRS coming after your assets like a troop of Vikings or working out a more civilized way for you to pay them back the money you owe. After the first part, unless you slip the Judge some LSD, the fact that you owe the money is not at issue, only how you intend to pay it, work out a plan with your bank, your employer and you with the IRS, or just chuck it over to Quito the Spic and his hungry Barbarian Hoarde.
If you go in an start demanding this and asserting that and threatening them with writs and briefs and suits and criminal prosecution, Quito takes over, and the Vikings, and creepy things from Alien and the fire ants from the last Indiana Jones movie....It's a damn shame they don't video tape this stuff, it would sure be entertaining, "Tax Cretins Jeopardy" would be Tuesday Night Must See for me!
So go ahead. Demand your rights. You'll eventually get to the part where they read them to you, and when they get to the right to remain silent, take it from someone NOT RETARDED, use that one, be silent. And submissive, too, cause in some jurisdictions they'll beat the bejeezuz out of you if you resist, in some cops the resisting arrest perp is a genre of a special fetish and unless you into the kind of thing, well, it's not any fun.
Or just say no, let them send some forms, you go ahead and put your sov'run BS on them and for only $5,000 extra they'll tell you you still owe the tax, fees, penalties (and the new one for $5000) and interest. And they mail you a few more pieces of paper before Lars and Vikings, and Vito and all those guys and you kind of get eaten alive by that, so you won't be anyone elses problem until you get to Marion and meet the Ayrian Nation guy who bought you when you were still on the bus and will be your constant companion for the next 32-40 months
And while you're gone, doing the "Tax Fairness Graduate Studies Program, FCC Ashland, you may want to send pictures of you wife, young adult daughters to me, and I might agree to "take care of them" while you're learning stuff the hard way. I have high standards, but they will live comfortably while you're gone, hell, they may not want to come back to the double wide when you get out.
