Ed adds names to his revenge killing list

Evil Squirrel Overlord · Mon Aug 13, 2007 7:00 pm

Remember, he had to go to three grocery stores to get food for EATING.

ErsatzAnatchist · Post by **ErsatzAnatchist** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:42 pm

Demosthenes wrote:
Sunday, August 12, 2007

11:26 AM - Message from Elaine
Current mood: grateful

Greetings to all our friends and supporters,

Blah Blah Blah

God bless you all for caring not only about us, but also about our country. I will try to write whenever I can.

Elaine Alice: family Brown

What happened to Elaine, Body of the Lord, House of Israel? She now goes by colon format?

This religion stuff is too confusing....

Post by **Quixote** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 9:57 pm

webhick wrote:
Old Buck wrote:Elaine used my computer to go on the net and reviewed the local grocery stores sales brochures. So I left here with a list (She says I should only shop with a list, that way I don’t get sucked into overspending) but she had me going to 3 different grocery stores with all the sales prices written down and what store I should buy this or that in. I left with my head spinning but promised I would be thrifty and follow her directions.
That was a little over-bearing of Elaine. What right does she have to tell him where he needs to go and what he needs to buy for his own personal use. Ain't none of that woman's business what he does with his money.

Of course, he was probably really shopping for E&E.

She was just trying to help Old Buck save some money by shopping the specials. I get the feeling that Old Buck is "between jobs" and needs to economize.

Post by **Demosthenes** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:18 pm

Quixote wrote:She was just trying to help Old Buck save some money by shopping the specials. I get the feeling that Old Buck is "between jobs" and needs to economize.

Old Buck (Jim Hobbs) is a retired trucker with a long history of tax problems. I doubt he has much money.

TheSaint · Post by **TheSaint** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:30 pm

webhick wrote:At 9, I watch a new Dirty Jobs.

Dirty Jobs is awesome.

You know what? Forget Dog the Bounty Hunter. We should send Mike Rowe to Ed and Elaine's house. He could do a piece on Elaine's home dentistry business, which I have no doubt qualifies as dirty. And while he's there, he would undoubtedly discover whatever other disgusting practices "living off the grid" has reduced the Browns to. Can't you just see Ed ranting about something, and Mike looking quizzically at the camera? And I'm sure Ed will go for it; he gets free manual labor and TV coverage out of the deal.

Post by **grixit** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:23 am

I bet Grant could talk a lot of brownites into trying out a few stunts such as the Loony Toons running on air trick or grabbing something through a spinning fan.

Post by **webhick** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:13 pm

As much as I love my Discovery Channel boys (I'd pay to see Bear Grylls showing all the survival nuts how stupid they are...and then doing some more naked pushups), I think that any given cycle of America's Next Top Model would push E&E over the edge. Spending any length of time with those bitches would drive anyone to surrender to the authorities. And if anyone heard about that Tyrade...I mean tirade...Tyra went into after one of the models disrespected the competition, you know that Ed would have some serious hurt coming to him. That, and I'm pretty sure Tyra could kick his ass. I'd also love to have Janice there, just to see her slice and dice both of 'em.

ElfNinosMom · Post by **ElfNinosMom** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:34 pm

webhick wrote:Ahem, I know a guy who looks like he could be Leland's twin (only shorter). Wife left him not a week ago for another guy. He's a bit of a money grubbing little compulsive liar...but if you're only looking for a quickie, I'm sure he'd oblige.

Thanks, but my other half (OH for short, which could also stand for "old hottie", come to think of it) lives here and probably wouldn't like it at all if I had a quickie with your stature-challenged money-grubbing compulsive lying friend (come to think of it, it doesn't sound too appetizing to me either, LOL). In fact, OH is why I think Leland's such a little hottie. He's kind of a much younger and shorter version of OH (yes, OH has hair that long even at 47, not bald or grey, but also not shaved on the sides like Leland's - he's what Fabio only wishes he looked like, LOL). The biggest difference is that Leland has a lot more tattoos, and beady little eyes, whereas OH has just a couple of tattoos and big beautiful blue eyes, and also has a real goatee, not just a couple of hairs on his chin. So OH is definitely hotter than Leland, even if he is old enough to be Leland's dad.

Evil Squirrel Overlord: I also thought it odd that Old Buck said he was going to get "food for eating". What else do you do with food? Does he slather it all over his naked body, then roll around in the dirt covered in some weird mix of bologna and dream whip, or what?

Imalawman · Post by **Imalawman** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:24 pm

ElfNinosMom wrote: What else do you do with food? Does he slather it all over his naked body, then roll around in the dirt covered in some weird mix of bologna and dream whip, or what?

Webhick, you said you wouldn't tell anyone about that. Damn it.

Post by **Demosthenes** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:09 pm

Imalawman wrote:
ElfNinosMom wrote: What else do you do with food? Does he slather it all over his naked body, then roll around in the dirt covered in some weird mix of bologna and dream whip, or what?
Webhick, you said you wouldn't tell anyone about that. Damn it.

If they ever make a movie out of webhick's memoirs, it just *has* to be directed by the Cohn brothers.

Dezcad · Post by **Dezcad** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:19 pm

ElfNinosMom wrote: Evil Squirrel Overlord: I also thought it odd that Old Buck said he was going to get "food for eating". What else do you do with food? Does he slather it all over his naked body, then roll around in the dirt covered in some weird mix of bologna and dream whip, or what?

Actually it was Shaun who said "FOOD FOR EATING" and he also said

"he was bringing candles to Ed & Elaine. Candles...for light. "

So ENM, you figured out what else they use food for - care to guess what else they use candles for - in addition to light?

Post by **grixit** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:23 pm

Play "prison examination"?

Post by **webhick** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:14 pm

Demosthenes wrote:
Imalawman wrote:
ElfNinosMom wrote: What else do you do with food? Does he slather it all over his naked body, then roll around in the dirt covered in some weird mix of bologna and dream whip, or what?
Webhick, you said you wouldn't tell anyone about that. Damn it.
If they ever make a movie out of webhick's memoirs, it just *has* to be directed by the Cohn brothers.

I doubt anyone would ever attempt to turn my memoirs into a movie. Again. They learned their lesson the last time. I'm sure many of you can either recall or at least have heard of that fateful day in November of 1965. I still think back on that day with an undefinable amount of frustration. You see, that whole fiasco only happened for three reasons: 1) the script-writer did not actually read my memoirs 2) the props department misunderstood the use of "the subatomic infrastructural remodel of the primordial ovarian chowder" 3) craft services only offered vegetarian courses and dammit, I need red meat!

Post by **wserra** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:19 pm

Demosthenes wrote:If they ever make a movie out of webhick's memoirs, it just *has* to be directed by the Cohn brothers.

The Cohn brothers? Are they the ones who made Barton Finkelstein? Farmisht? Mushnick's Crossing?

Post by **Demosthenes** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:06 pm

Oops. Apparently that should have been spelled Coen brothers.

Post by **LPC** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:46 pm

Demosthenes wrote:Oops. Apparently that should have been spelled Coen brothers.

Bosun! Assemble the crew to witness the administration of punishment!

Post by **Duke2Earl** » Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:01 pm

LPC wrote:
Demosthenes wrote:Oops. Apparently that should have been spelled Coen brothers.
Bosun! Assemble the crew to witness the administration of punishment!

Oh Boy.... is it the ritual removal of the sacred blue box? Can I watch?

Evil Squirrel Overlord · Wed Aug 15, 2007 3:37 pm

ElfNinosMom wrote:Evil Squirrel Overlord: I also thought it odd that Old Buck said he was going to get "food for eating". What else do you do with food? Does he slather it all over his naked body, then roll around in the dirt covered in some weird mix of bologna and dream whip, or what?

I don't kiss and tell....

Post by **Demosthenes** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 9:00 am

Duke2Earl wrote:
LPC wrote:
Demosthenes wrote:Oops. Apparently that should have been spelled Coen brothers.
Bosun! Assemble the crew to witness the administration of punishment!
Oh Boy.... is it the ritual removal of the sacred blue box? Can I watch?

Over my dead cat body... Hiss.

Nikki · Post by **Nikki** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:54 am

Duke2Earl wrote:
LPC wrote:
Demosthenes wrote:Oops. Apparently that should have been spelled Coen brothers.
Bosun! Assemble the crew to witness the administration of punishment!
Oh Boy.... is it the ritual removal of the sacred blue box? Can I watch?

Although the 'target' has replied, please let me offer an appropriate, belated, paraphrased response:

"You don't tug on Superman's cape.
You don't spit into the wind.
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger,
And you DON'T mess around with gems."