Cpt Banjo wrote: One of the suggestions I give you is that you have pen, paper, envelope and stamps ready for you to write some letters to some of our innocent six, Ed, Elaine, Danny, Carino, Jason, or Bob, who are in jail at this time.
We can only hope that pretty soon there'll be so many TP's in jail that the rest of the chowderheads won't be able to afford the postage for all the letters.
It really concerns me that they're actually using the postal system.
"USA FIRST-CLASS FOREVER" is an ingenious ploy I came up with while in Maui with seven of the finest interns. Sadly, six passed on from exhaustion. The seventh has been muttering incoherently on LH, oddly enough.
Ahem, first of all, on the stamp's face, it clearly establishes UNITED STATES OF AMERICA jurisidiction, which is subservient to the Illuminati (the clue is "First Class" because we never travel business/economy), and you are submitting forever. Your immortal soul is ours. Give up now. The Liberty Bell is prominently displayed, and because I ordered it be cracked on Washington's birthday in 1846, it symbolizes how the Illuminati have touched every part of your lives.
Additionally, those of you who enjoy anagrams may have noticed the many clues we've left regarding future shows of dominance over you (you have to drop the A in USA since it superfluous anyway):
Surface Lovers Firsts - Yes, militant tree hugging hippies will be the first to go.
Visceral Surfers Soft - We'll go easy on surfers who operate mainly on instinct and emotion. Mostly because they make operational breeding material.
Cleavers Offs Sirs Rut - Sir Ruts of the world, be on the look out for guys named Cleaver. And don't think no one named Rut has been knighted. We've ensured that they have. After all, we own the Queen of England.
Rovers Stuffs Eclairs - It was an experiment gone bad, but we're more than happy to repeat it in your backyard should you piss me off enough.
Surface Revs Florists - Ever seen a florist run really really fast? You will.
There are more, of course, but I'm not authorized to release them at this time.
When chosen for jury duty, tell the judge "fortune cookie says guilty" - A fortune cookie